The Marauding Five Year Six
by bunny chan
Summary: Sixteen? Sweet? Well, think again. These five Marauders certainly hadn't got the Sweet Sixteen part! Well, I have the LJ romance up, and yes, those evil pranks are on the way. MPPLJ
1. Aishiteru

There's a first five prequel, if you can't understand this one :)

Disclaimer: Adele Varens [NOT the Bronte's], uhm, personality of the Marauders [Pettigrew, if you don't know, is NOT included!], the rest of the weird-ed Hogwarts characters belong to me. Yes, there's that group of stupid Maggles, but they'll come later… as always.

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**The Marauding Five : Year Six**

**Chapter 1: Aishiteru**

'Ha ha ha! There' no way to spend a holiday when you parents are here! But they're gone! For vacation! Ha ha ha!!!' Sirius laughed loudly in the guffawing manner. 'And it's all of them! Hurray! Hurray! Joy towards the summer holidays! Yay! Yay! Yay!'

'Shut up, Sirius Black,' Petunia snarled, spooning her gillywater in a doubtful manner. She wasn't quite sure if this- this _tonic or whatever her sister had claimed, was safe to drink. Who knows if something at the back of Lily's mind is still aching for revenge during those old days?_

No one. After all, Lily's mind is rather unpredictable, because all sorts of rubbish go in there. And the Leaky Cauldron was almost empty, meaning that the Marauders had a high chance to poisoning her with a few warts… Their disgusting sense of humour, ugh!

The Marauders and the girl counterpart's sisters were staying at Leaky Cauldron for a month of their summer holidays, because their elders had left for a vacation (or work? Who knows?) to somewhere at Europe.

'Adele, are you sure muggles are allowed in here?' Adeline asked worriedly, staring at the folks around her. They seem to be eyeing at her and Petunia.

'Yes, yes,' Adele said with a casual wave. 'After all, they DID say family members.'

'Do you think I can get myself a wand?'

'Maybe.'

'No she wouldn't!'

'Shut up, Sirius. It's me and my sister talking over here.'

'Well _I and certainly certain that she wouldn't,' James said with a huff. 'Unless, of course, she meant those crummy toy ones in which you make mice appear.'_

'Too bad,' Petunia said flatly. 'Where's Gram?'

'Off to visit Granny Emily Potter,' her sister replied. 'Now that you're in the wizarding world, don't you feel that you look odd?'

'I do,' Remus said glumly.

'Not you. But _Tuni-yaa, think of it! We're in robes and you're in… JEANS!' Lily said in a dramatic manner. Petunia glared at the name Tuni-yaaaa (stressed with even more As than it sound)._

'What do you mean?' Petunia snapped. 'I'm wearing a NORMAL T-shirt and a NORMAL jeans, if that's even a crime to laws of fashion'

'No, it's not,' Adeline said, nodding in agreement. After all, _she is wearing a tracksuit and an overlarge shirt with Mickey Mouse smiling out of it joyfully. And it __is her favourite way of dressing._

'What we mean is you look odd here. And we came by Floo Network (dang on Gram's shortage of sickles, or we would've taken the Knight Bus). Even a blind man would note that your clothes are sooty,' Remus said patiently with the small bite of unsaid sarcasm in it. The two girls turn to stare at each other's dressings with a wide mouth.

'You're right. Adele, be a dear sweetie pie and use the spell mum did on my legs so I can walk!' Adeline begged.

'I left y wand at home,' Adele said bluntly.

'Liar. You bring you wands everywhere,' Petunia smirked at her knowledge. 'Lily says so.'

'Lily…!!!'

'Hey, I'm telling the truth, at least!' Lily defended. Adeline turned to her sister who put on a pair of imploring, super-duper-hyper, gigantic, cute, watery, puppy-dog eyes.

'Please?'

Muttering curses under her breath (aimed to Lily), Adele tapped her wand on her sister's spine and her legs. In a moment, Adeline smiled broadly, got up, folded her wheelchair and got Tom the barkeeper to keep it for her.

'What's there to do here? It's soooo boring!' Petunia groaned. 'And you call this loiter, hah!'

'We don't,' James said.

'Don't what?'

'Call it loiter.'

'Oh.'

'There's LOADS to do here! Your mother gave you some money – er, galleons – didn't she?' Sirius said.

'Those heavy gold lumps that resemble painted stones. Yes, if that's your galleons.'

'Exactly! So first stop is Madam Malkin's, to get you perfect clothing!'

'I love my clothes a lot, thank you very much, Black.' 

'You hate it,' James crowed, 'when it's black with unwashable soot!'

'Then we'll bring you to the bookstore to get some books on old wizarding history,' Remus said brightly.

'You might as well just give her our old text books,' James chipped.

'Hang on. TEXT BOOKS?' Petunia screeched. Her face wore the expression of a dead cat.

'Yes, precisely,' Lily said. 'Well, History of Magic… about time we dump it somewhere else, huh?'

'No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

'Fine. We'll get you your romancey-novels. Some witches write them,' Adele said in frustration.

'Any good recipes?' Adeline inquired.

'Try mudcake-ratpie,' Sirius suggested. 'It'll be perfect!' Adeline paled at it. It sounded disgusting. She had a feeling that the ingredients consists a "handful of mud from the farthest swamp you can find along with fat juicy rats with blunt claws." Simply like what witches might do. YUCK.

'She's just kidding,' Remus yawned. 'The name's really mud pie and rat cake, and it's made of chocolate icings and your normal cake recipe. Or was it the other way round? Hmm…'

'I want a wand,' Petunia said firmly, changing the subject.

'We'll get you those that shoot sparks,' Lily said, patting her sister's shoulders. 'Then you can frighten Vernon by saying "Look, Vernie! I'm a witch! See, these are firecrackers! Don't you loooove me, Vernie?"' Lily did a dramatic lovesick expression (OVER-dramatic) and pretended to lick some boots or whatever she was planning to pretend to lick. Petunia glared at her.

**

Their first stop was as planned: Madam Malkin's. Madam Malkin nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Petunia and Adeline and… the worst of all, the _Marauders. Of course, that was a great work of pretense, though._

The four Marauders dropped into a low bow (Adele wasn't really used to the custom of theirs yet) before her.

'Hello, dears!' Malkin greeted.

'Tuni-_yaa, this is Gram's old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old—' Lily paused to breathe for a while—'old, old, old, old—' The Marauders, Adeline and Petunia's eyes goggled and their heads bobbed with each "old" Lily mention._

'I'm not that old,' the old witch said at once. Too old is ancient. Ancient is very ancient. And very ancient means six feet underground with a polished wood as your shield from the rain and soil.

'Okay. Old. This is Gram's _ooooooooooold friend,' Lily said. 'From Hogwarts, too.'_

'Um.' Was all Petunia could say. What was she to say?

'I see you've improved your attitude a lot,' Malkin said casually (Petunia had a sudden urge of emotion to hate her). 'You used to be really noisy. Or so Millie Turner inform me when she wrote to me about her daughter's first girl. Muggle, right?' Petunia decided to hate her Gram instead. She averted her eyes from the bustling lady to the shop. She stared at the robes around her, then at the Marauders's. theirs were decidingly fancier than the plain black schoolrobes Madam Malkin displayed.

'I wonder if we get fancy robes,' Adeline whispered to the older girl.

'I hope. Black's not my colour. The next thing _I know (and I __do know a lot of things), I'll be burnt as an accused witch,' Petunia hissed in distaste. James, Sirius, Remus and Lily rolled their eyes. They knew about Petunia's "lot of things" that she claim to know. They're: a) boys; b) witches and why they deserve to die; c) herself; d) clothes; e) critics on things she don't really know about; f) that's just all she knows._

'Sorry, I must be losing my manners,' Madam Malkin said cheerfully. 'How may I help you?'

'We'd like a dark blue sparkly robe – Dress robes, Madam – and a silver grey one (also sparkly), please,' Adele said. 'For Tuni-yaaa and Adeline-aa.'

'They're attending the party? Are you?'

'Of course!! Wouldn't miss it for the world! I mean, it's not EVERYDAY that you get free food, right?' James said in righteous manner (though really, there's nothing to be righteous about).

'We have to bring them with us. Couldn't trust them with anything or any place magic,' Sirius said cheerfully.

'Alright, dearies. Step right on the stool and let us measure you,' Malkin said, beckoning for her assistant.

Half and hour later, they paid for their robes and left the shop, thanking the kind madam for her help and the robes.

'A party? What party?' Adeline asked curiously.

'Something the fifth years are doing. Where was it? The Hopkins?' Adele said.

'No. The Thores. They have a mansion with a thousand rooms, so they claim to have,' Remus answered.

'Well, now that I know there's a party, let's go to the trinket shops!' Petunia said. 'When is it?'

'Tonight. About nine. And it'll last right to the morning!' Sirius said. 'Yippee, a sleepover!'

'Which gives us an even better reason to shop for make-ups,' Petunia said. The others stared at her quietly. They all knew how ugly she look with make-ups, and if she's going with them, well, they don't want to be accused to being in a fight. Petunia's make-up style certainly scream that.

'Er, let's get you some, uh, shoes instead,' Lily said nervously.

'Why?' Petunia stared at her plastic slippers. They were decent and they fit well with her robes.

'Because, uh…' She was lost for words.

'She really meant apothecary,' James said. 'Lily ran out of potion ingredients, and we think we'd better show you the way, so you can shop for us next time we asked you. Oh, we'd better get her an owl, too, maybe.'

Lily heaved a sigh of relief. 'Good! That way, Lotus is safe from those karate-rats in our attic! Blessed be!'

Petunia and Adeline were showed the Apothecary ('Eeww!!!! Mice intestines!?') and brought to the Owl Emporium. Petunia got herself a barn owl and Adeline chose a snow owl (Adele hasn't one).

'Wand! I want a wand! Wand, wand, wand!'

'Sheesh, Tuni-ya! Don't keep complaining like _that!' Sirius groaned._

'Besides, if you get a wand, you won't have enough wizard gold to last you for another day! We'll be living in Leaky Cauldron for quite a few weeks, so we need as much as we can,' Lily said plaintively.

'Bingo!' Adeline chirped.

'I thought our accounts are—' James was rudely cut off by Adele.

'What are you planning to do now? There's another three more hours to that party,' Adele said casually. 'Food, anyone?'

'Yech, who knows if there's… _mudcake-ratpie in their recipe??' Petunia grimaced. Adeline shuddered._

'Oh, yes! And we have all sorts, too! Strawberry, grape, yogurt,' Remus said, trailing off with all sorts of disgusting-sounding food that goes as 'bogey pie' and 'earwax pudding with a fresh sea of nausea—fresh from one's tummy!'

The Marauders nearly threw up too, at one point. Nearly.

'Okay. Stop. I'll be going to the trink shop,' Petunia muttered.

'Er, Adele. I mean to say that I thought our accounts are filled to the brim with galleons. Or did you manage to spend them all on something?' James said. 'We won that lump, remember, for entering some lucky draw!' Lucky isn't really the word. More of Lily's growing Psychic powers which somehow got in contact with the numbers of their 'lottery ticket' and the person who read out the numbers.

'Yes, yes, but—'

'You mean you actually used EVERYTHING?!'

'Yes—I mean, NO! but if we let them know, they'll use all their money now!'

'Yeah. Be concerned of the future. Think of your dear, future child with our dear, lovely Lily,' Sirius said.

'Huh?' was James's only confused reply.

'Nothing.'

'Speaking of Lily, James, how's Li—' Remus was interrupted by a squeal from the girl of topic.

'Look! A new broom! I'd love to get a new one!!!'

'You already have one,' James reminded. 'My mum got it for us.'

'Something's wrong with the balance, though. Must be that match with the Ravenclaw that made it feel tampered,' Lily said. 'Oh, ,look at this! Comet! And it's the latest! And there's another, too! A Nimbus! All the better!!!'

Adele yanked her friend from the display window. 'Let's go before our sisters do something stupid in the trink shop.'

'Comet… Nimbus…!' Lily moaned as Adele dragged the deranged Psychic from the window.

**

'You'd better hold on tight,' Lily said, 'this broom has gone silly after three years.' Petunia stared at Lily's broom with a look of disgust clearly written on her face. She was wondering is she really should sit on it, in her fine, lovely and – above all – NEW midnight blue folds of robes.

'Just get on!' Sirius scowled. Adeline was sitting behind him, as Adele's flying skills was… very uncomplimentable.

'Um…' Petunia hesitated.

'She's not going to kill herself!' Remus said cheerfully. He paused. 'Um. Not yet.' Lily might kill herself, just for the fun of it. She's been raving about how nice it would be if she can chase Lily Trenna (the Maggle, a shadow from her past life) out of Bluebells Cup. The Maggles (in which there are five of them:one of each Marauder) had decided to live with the Marauders to help them "sharpen their skills." So far, what they'd done was raiding the refrigerator and watching the Tv.

'You can stay here if you like,' James offered. 'I mean, we can get Tom to bring you food.'

Petunia climbed up the broom hurriedly. She didn't quite fancy the mangy barkeeper. He was staring at her with a cocked eye of disapprovement when she accidentally spilled butterbeer on the next table, and the table's occupants' cup of gillywater was knocked out of the way and flowed to another table, and so on and so on, in which the ring of spilled cups, mugs and beer bottles began.

'Go!!!!!' the Marauders chorused in unison, shooting into the dark sky of sprinkled stars. The Squib sisters (Petunia and Adeline) clung tightly onto the broom, not hesitating a single moment to scream themselves hoarse and kick about in wild madness.

Soon, all but Adele are turning loop-de-loops in the star speckled sky. Two shrill screams pierced the silent darkness. In a few minutes, another scream joined the other two and on of the five black shadows fell apart.

Lily's broom had broken down.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Lily and Petunia shrieked, as the broom shook violently, throwing its riders off before breaking into shimmers and twigs of nothingness.

It was a bothering fact that the boys and Adele are at least 5 to 8 feet away. But their friends realized, after a few stumbling seconds, that blinking blankly and gaping wouldn't be doing much help. James and Remus zoomed straight towards the girls to catch them, because Sirius had Adeline as burden and Adele is still too frozen to even breathe.

The two girls tunneled the swirling mists of clouds. Lily was too busy yelling to remember to float them up.

Fortunately for them, James and Remus's broom were faster than the gravity that was pulling Lily and Petunia and caught tem before they plummeted into a nearby helicopter (which was the worst thing you could expect in the air, besides airplanes and parachuting muggles, or getting hit by a rocket that was just launched). James grabbed Lily by her long hair and Remus caught Petunia's outstretched arm.

'POTTER!!! My _hair!!!' Lily screeched, trying her best to reach James's hand to pull herself up than enduring the headache of her life._

'Oops,' James said, letting her hair go at once. Amazing how daft one can be at such situation.

'You idiot!!! Aaaaaah!!!'

'Lily, you nitwit, your Psychic powers!!!' Adele cried. Lily, thankful at being reminded, hurriedly cast the ancient power upon herself. She floated up onto James's broom wobbly and clung onto it desperately, gasping for breath as her arm circled his waist, nearly choking him of his breath.

'Kak… gak… can'… t… br… eath…!' James hacked. Lily soften it a little.

'Are you okay?' Sirius asked in concern, swooping down.

'Am I okay???? How would you feel, being a hundred or so zillion feet in the air—'

'It's only 150.'

'Wrong, Remus. It's only 151.'

'—and you fell out of an old, LOUSY RICKETY broom that hasn't much sense with your sister who, AGAIN, have much lesser sense than her brom???????? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL???? WOULD YOU FEEL _OKAY?????????'_

'Well, certainly. I would find it an experience to live by,' Sirius said with a grin. Petunia took gales of deep breath, realized that she'd gone back to her old rude self that she'd promised to herself to not to show to her sister and her dimmy friends or they'll kill her in two ticks.

'Okay. Okay. I'm fine. I'm fine,' she muttered at last.

'Let's, um, just go without any more, er, loops,' Adeline suggested, her head spinning.

The Marauders were only too glad to agree with her.

**

Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!

Pastira Thore yanked the door open to seven people, two of which looked as if they had just woken up in a haystack. That wasn't the part that bothered her, though. Pastira gaped at them, turned to a mantelpiece clock, stared at the sky, and then back to her friends.

'You are thirty minutes late,' she said finally.

'We notice,' Adele said dryly. 'But accidents in the sky is very, very common. You know that, too.'

Pastira stared at them uncertainly, as if regarding the birds nest of hair Lily seem to be having. She turned to Petunia, who had similar hairstyle but less stuck-ups because her hair was short. Then the rest of them. 'Adele, who's this?' She pointed at Adele.

'I'm Adele. That's Adeline,' Adele said. 'She's… my twin sister.'

'And this…?' Petunia scowled blackly when Pastira pointed at her.

'That's my sister,' Lily said. 'And she's scowling because to her, pointing's rude, which it is.'

'Okay. Um.'

'Come on, are you going to let us stand here all night?' Sirius said in annoyance. Blankly, Pastira showed them in.

'James! Sirius! Remus! Lily! Adele!' two voices cried shrilly. A patter of footsteps were heard and the Thore twins, Pastilla and Pattempt, hugged the five Marauders. Petunia went off, muttering about washroom. Adeline was sampling the food, glad to know that there weren't any of the grosteque food of which Remus had said.

'Oh, so you _finally decided to come. With an entrance, no less, since you look like a bunch of ragmuffins,' Tally said. 'I went over to your place, but I didn't see anyone there.'_

'Mum wouldn't trust us with the house.'

'Yeah. She's afraid that we'll burn it up.'

'I don't wonder,' Tally muttered.

'What rhymes with love?' Severus Snape asked, strolling absent-mindedly to the Marauders.

'Why?' Sirius asked curiously. It's not everyday Snape asked that! And to the Marauders, his sworn enemies, too!

'Because Tally promised to dance with me if I compose ten poems for her.' It struck the others dumb for a while before realizing that Snape still had the hots for the Gryffindor girl.

'Well…'

'Really?' Adele asked in surprise, staring at the blonde who is now talking to Nina.

'Love? How about glove?' Remus suggested.

'Hmm… you are my eye of love//you fit in like a glove…' and he wandered off, muttering to himself. The Marauders burst into gales of laughter when he's out of sight. Snape had never looked so thoughtful before, or even been so nice to them—polite, for once!

'Hello? Hello, may I have your attention, please?' Dumbledore's voice called.

'What is he doing here?' Anna Hopkins (The Marauder's sworn rival in class) of Ravenclaw asked.

'You're probably wondering what I'm doing ehre. Well, I'm here to give out your OWL results. I cannot send it by owl, for afraid that it might be intercepted. OWLs are official wizard abd witch Certs. to enter your Sixth year. But anyway, you shall all meet me one by one, after your party, which is tomorrow morning. Enjoy yourself!' the merry wizard called. Before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

'Odd guy,' Thomas Macmillan said, walking towards the Marauders. 'Adele, who's that girl that looked like you? Your sister?'

'Yeah. And how's you know me?' Adele asked.

'Them Marauders. See ya.'

'Typical,' James said, rolling his eyes.

'I wonder what's wrong with my broom,' Lily said sadly, 'it was okay till that moment. I should've trusted my instincts to get one of those Comets or Nimbus.'

'Who cares? It's over now,' Adele shrugged.

'Well, I have to get home by Floo Network, and I don't enjoy yet another headache!' Lily snapped.

'HEY!!!!!!!! An announcement here!!!' Pastira yelled, standing on a high chair to be seen.

'Hear ye, hear ye!'

'D'you all remember that fateful year-end ball we had for our fourth year? The unsuccessful one?' a chorus of yes answered her. 'Well, there's another one tonight, and you get to pick your own partners this time! Thanks!'

'Okay…' Tally said slowly.

'Fine by me,' Sita shrugged.

'Of course it's fine with you!' Pertsy said in a huff. 'You're the most popular girl! So very unlike me: your sad, unpopular best friend. Are you planning to dump me of that post today?'

'No, of course not! But I'm not _that pretty,' Sita said with a faint blush. Adele snorted._

'She has the nice silky black hair, beautiful, tanned complexion, oval face, imploringly big eyes… that's NOT pretty?!'

'We know that you're jealous, Miss Envy,' Remus said, patting her sympathicly. Lily coughed to restrain laughter.

'So… are we going to dance at all?' Sirius asked, frowning.

They stared at each other. The uninvited question and yet the question in their minds.

'Of course! Why come to a party, then?' Petunia said, joining them very suddenly.

'Voice of answer,' Adele said, smiling a little. This is a good chance to find out how popular she is; and how unpopular she is. She detested the latter decision.

'Food first!' James said, and he rushed to grab an empty table for his friends. The others followed him thankfully. None of them felt like dancing… yet.

The party went on beautifully, and nothing broke down before the actual dancing began, which is a pretty good enough sign for the former fifth years. At about ten o' clock, a stereo was introduced by the muggle-borns and record players were presented. It was then that the official party began. Couples paired on the dance floor and the teenagers (being teenagers) began with a slow ballad.

Adele was invited to dance by one of Anna Hopkins's brothers (it wasn't a restricted 5th year party), Sirius was busy trying to prise a few girls from the dance floor (all in purpose for a prank), Remus was pulled off by Adele (who was very overjoyed at the use of her legs and her first dance), Petunia was busy pigging down food when Thomas DeAnne of Hufflepuff blushingly invited her to a dance. Petunia went red before agreeing.

James and Lily stared at each other after some time.

'Well,' Lily said, 'what about us?'

'Er… we'll pull down some pranks?' James suggested, sheepishly grinning at her. He knew she wouldn't agree to that, though. Not with the rest of the Marauders on the floor of their scheming minds.

'If you wouldn't say it, fine,' Lily said, shrugged, pulled her red robes up and smoothen the creases. 'I'm off, Prongs.'

'Uh, hey! You know that I was kidding!'

'Really? I thought your name was James.'

'No, it's not! I mean, it _is James!'_

'Whatever. I'm wasting my time here with you, thick-faced stag.' James racked his brains to wonder what he did wrong.

'What did I do wrong now?' he aked. Lily rolled her eyes, grabbed his hands and practically dragged him to the dance floor. Petunia covered her face in shame.

'She is NOT my sister… I do NOT know her…'

'If you want to dance, ask!' James said, half-laughing at Lily's funny scene of dragging him to the center.

'Girls don't ask,' Lily grinned. 'Besides, I'll give you my word that Trenna, Green, Pepper, Chore and Brad are all here—on our parents's orders!'

'I'll take it, then.'

'Hello!' Arthur Weasley said cheerfully.

'Hello!' Lily echoed. 'Why are you here? You graduated years ago!'

'No - I mean, yes! Er, my cousin's in Hufflepuff and I have to find her. Where's she now?'

'Arthuuuuuuuur! Why are you here?' Serena Tappers screamed, stomping towards her cousin.

'Well, your mother sent me to keep an eye on you. Especially since you like to flirt and…'

'Shut up.' With that, she dragged him off.

'The odd things in this world!' James said in amusement.

'I'd say, then, the oddest thing in my life is meeting you rascals!' Tally said, waltzing near them with Dan. 'You're odd enough without needing any final touch from your stupid brains.'

Lily just laughed. Tally sniffed and waltzed off.

Someone soon proposed the changing partners routine, as someone usually do in parties. The guy must be either really desperate for a dance or had nothing better to do than flirt, Lily figured. The students – much to her horror – agreed to this proposal.

Very soon, the ever-moving, ever-changing circle of couples was seen from a bird's eye view. And since the girl population is one too many, ,Lily retired to the refreshments with Adeline, who decided that she'd had enough of her legs.

'How was Tom DeAnne?' Lily asked, gulping her glass of lemonade in an unlady-like way. 'Nice guy, him. Worshipped us during the sorting back in the first year.'

'You should sip,' Adeline said, who was a refine lady in almost every way.

'Who cares?'

'The men?'

'Whatever.'

'This _is sweet sixteen after all,' pressed Adeline._

'It's more like a sour sixteen, then,' Lily said dryly, munching on her cake.

'Er… Well, Thomas was okay, except the part when he stared at Petunia. He must fallen in love with her,' Adeline said. Lily sprayed Adeline's face with cake crumbs.

'Whoops! Ack, I didn't mean to!' Lily said hurriedly, pulling a great hoard of tissues and handed them over—nearly the whole box in her clutched hand. 'But Tuni-ya? DeAnne? UGH!'

James, meanwhile, was having a boring time dancing. For one, half the girls never seem to even wear high-heels before yet they wore it to look "cool", and they kept trodding on his toes. This was nothing; he took revenge by stepping on her dresses and slipped a dungbomb into their thick hairstyles. 

For another, his mind had seemed to wander on its own accord to a certain girl at the refreshments corner. This was a real bother because he simply couldn't push her off. And the last conversation they had on Hogwarts Express. Lily had said something in a foreign language, and James had no idea what I meant. She had said it in a rather cheeky, playful manner and ended it with a kiss.

Now THAT'S that worst of the worst bothering part.

'Potter, can you please stop treading on me?' Geraldine Googles said in annoyance.

'You stepped on mine! It's time I take revenge!' James retorted. 'And don't even think of slapping me, Googles. I warn you, so don't even try it!' The girl gaped at him for a short moment before stamping off in annoyance. James pulled a nasty face after her before joining Lily at their table. Adeline had left for the washroom, because the "sprayed cake crumbs just isn't cleaned by tissues."

'Something on your mind?' Lily asked, stuffing herself with French fries.

'Uh, yes. No. Yes. No. Er. Sorta.'

'Speak up, then. No use lying,' Lily said, levitating seven empty glasses on the air in a sort of juggle. She was obviously bored.

'I was wondering…'

'Yes? Care for a cup?' She drew the jug near.

'No thanks. As I was saying…'

'As you were saying…?'

'I was wondering about…'

'You were wondering about WHAT?!'

'Listen, will you???'

'Will I WHAT?!'

This is some sort of a joke, James managed to tell himself. 'Okay. I was wondering about…'

'About?'

'What you said,' James said hastily. Lily stared at him blankly.

'What did I say?' she asked innocently. Pure innocence. She hasn't had a single clue on what he's talking about.

'That word… back at the train… something in foreign tongue,' James said calmly. 'It was something like "Ai" something something something.'

_Ka-chang!!! The glasses fell onto the bare stone floor sharply. Head swung in their direction._

'Sorry! I'll pay for them!' Lily called over.

'Alright, so what is it?' James demanded, when everyone turned away to mind their own business. Lily busied herself (on purpose, it must be said) tidying the broken glass. 'Lily, I'm talking to you!'

'Yes, I AM listening to you!' Lily retorted.

'Fat load of help you are, then,' he said. 'Maybe I should get that language class genius to tell me. What was his name again? Lucifer Greens?' Lily tried to ignore James. 'Then he might tell me what it means, what language it is and whatever else there is. His _MIGHT ask who asked it, though, y'know, his inquisive manner and—'_

'Fine! You win!' Lily yelled sharply. Everyone turned to her. 'False alarm,' she said hurriedly to the crowd. They turned back, muttering about how odd Lily Evans and James Potter are. James grinned broadly at her reply.

'So what does it mean?'

'It means—'

'What's with you guys today?' Remus asked, walking towards them. Noticing Lily's relief look, James hurriedly gave him an excuse and dragged Lily out of the house.

'You're _kidnapping me??' Lily said in disbelief, when James shot off on his broom with Lily behind him._

'What does it look like to you? I'm planning to get an answer tonight!' James said. They went past layers of clouds, finally halting before the crescent moon above the misty swirls of clouds.

'I gave you one already.'

'No, you didn't!' James said. 'I want an answer!'

'To what?'

'My question last term! And your nonsensical answer last month!'

Lily blinked blankly at hi before understatement dawn upon her.

She smiled at him before murmuring 'Aishiteru' and kissing him on his lips tenderly again. She hugged him tightly and buried her face in his messy black hair lovingly, like a child would to a huge teddy bear.

James stared at her, mouth wide open and speechless again. He stared searchingly into her almond green eyes. In the white moonlight, Lily's robes looked beautifully enchanting. Her long dark red hair was flying behind her in wild staticness, flapping like a flag in the wind. Her smooth tanned complexion looked luminous and her cheeks were touched with a soft tinge of ink.

In his eyes, she looked even prettier than Sita. Lovelier than the Queen of the Universe. After all, Lily's bubbly personality wasn't all that bad and sinful.

And time seemed almost static between the two of them. A faint hoot of an owl brought them back to reality.

'What does that mean?' James asked bluntly, remembering his purpose.

'Aishiteru.'

'Yes, but what does it mean?'

'It means, "aishiteru."'

'In English?'

'It means… it means…'

'Well?'

'I-I-I-I-I-I…'

'I. Yes. That's all?'

'L-l-l-love… y-y-y-you…'

James's mind swirled in disbelief. He was expecting something more Lily-like – something like "I think you're just joking with me" or "I suggest we skip this topic and change it to pranks!!!" would fit James quite okay.

But this wasn't what he had quite expected.

Okay, maybe he _did expect it, after Lily's sleeptalking, but to say it outright and so straightforwardly was too… James couldn't find a word to describe that at the moment, but abnormal would suit it._

And if she really honestly meant "I love you," how could she say it as easily as if she was saying "Let's get some chocolate ice-cream"? James shook himself mentally. Lily is a girl. And girls are complicating.

But Lily isn't just another girl. No, she was his childhood friend, someone he had known even since the first days she was born. But, of course, he hadn't known her name then, yet!

'James? Prongs, are you alright?' Lily asked worriedly.

'Uh, yeah. Why would I want to be sick?' he asked. 'No, I mean, why would I be sick.' Lily just shrugged. For a silent moment, the couple stared at the moving clouds beneath them.

'James?'

'What?'

'Are you mat at me? Angry? Disgusted? Or hate?'

James thought about it for a moment. 'Why should I? I mean, we've known each other for so long. As long as… er, how old are we?'

'Sixteen, idiot. Or at least, you are. My birthday's coming in two weeks.' And it was silent again. There's no telling what was in their minds at that moment. The sharp strike of the Big Ben (they had flown to London, it seems) woke them up with a jump. Twelve strikes told James that it was already midnight, and that it's high time they return.

'Let's go back,' he suggested. 'They're probably missing us by now. The pranks are a handful only this evening! This can't be!!! We must be losing our touch!'

'Aah! But I managed to plan some jumping beans in some food,' Lily grinned. 'Funny no one saw, cause it was pretty empty and shoving the beans into the salad isn't as easy as it had seemed.'

'Well, I haven't played more than five!' James retorted. 'And I bet that they'll be missing us!'

'Really? I think that they're very thankful for the silence.' Lily cocked her eye, which usually mean "I know more than you do—I'm the Psychic and the Seer here, not _you!"_

'Whatever.' Pause. 'Lily? W- will you be my g- girlfriend?' James stammered suddenly. Then, as if realizing what he had just said, he paled very suddenly and slapped his hand onto his head.

Lily frowned at him. His heart (James's, of course), which was choking his throat very cruelly, fell to the ground. It sank so horribly that James swore that he ad even heard the resounding SPLAT SPLUNK it made on the ground far below them.

'James, you'd obviously, obviously been oblivious to a very obvious, obvious face that you've been very oblivious towards to in this obvious—'

'Skip the "obvious" and "obviously", will you?' James swallowed.

'Alright, _fine! I mean to say that we're __already engage without that measly proposal (hurray for that fact, Jimmy, cause if it weren't for it, you'll be cursed! Thank your parents!) and that I'm already your fiancée whether you and I like it or not. Get the point?' Lily said. James stared at her dumbly. 'Looks like you don't.'_

'I get it!' James scowled, 'But I was _wondering if it'll do any good to start from scratch!' Big liar, Prongs, but you can win the Oscar's Best Actor Award if she gets it._

Lily sighed. 'Okay. I'll be your girlfriend. Or whatever friend it is. No such thing as Part-De-Tourist-Of-Gullilea-Friend right?'

'What part de what?'

'Just a joke.'

Still, James grinned to himself. He'd won that Oscar award for best actor (hah! I rule! Whoever said that Sirius's acting was better than mine?). nad the boy simply couldn't express the joy that swelled in him. Or how his heart came back to life from its horrid "death". He hugged and kissed Lily.

And this, Merlin knows how, caused his broom to fly out of control. So much for a romantic moment.

**

'What happened? Where were you? Why're you in a mess?' Sirius asked in surprise when the duo reappeared at the Thore's Mansion door some thirty minutes later. They looked positively wind-blown and a few of James's (broken down) broomstick twigs were sticking out of their hair.

'It's time to get a new broom,' James said bluntly, walking in.

'Huh?'

'We were playing chasing-the-birds-and-clouds when James's broomstick gone mad and clashed with an aeroplane. Fortunately, I managed to magic a flying carpet and here we are. Half dead and very tired.' Lily reconsidered the last line. 'No, sorry, not dead and not so tired.'

'Magic carpet? They're banned. I mean, that Arabian wizard killed himself because his carpet got clashed with the other Arabian's carpet. Who would've known that!'

'Who cares?'

It wasn't that way in reality. They flew back with their Psychic powers (thankfully, unseen). But Sirius, being in the current daft mood he is in now, is too much of an idiot to realize this. Then again, Lily's story seem convincing enough, so Sirius wasn't much of an idiot, then.

'Where'd you two go? I was looking for you everywhere!' Petunia said. Her face was green. 'Someone hexed me and Adele and the boys refused to put me back!'

'Really? Who hexed you?' James asked in amusement. Her green face looked like some pickled lettuce.

'There, that fairheaded fat kid over there. I didn't even do anything! I just handed him some salad, he choked and—'

'I know the rest,' Lily grinned suddenly. Petunia backed away in fright. Lily can be very unpredictable when she had that- that- that GRIN.

'What's with you now?'

'Revenge time!!! I'm going to _destroy this party!!!' Lily cried, producing a large number of chalks (the Chalk-Rings ones), dungbombs, stink pellets, firecrackers, potion vials (the ones that turned Snape and Gang's faces into polka-dotted volcanoes and her other failed potion works), mice, frogs, anything nasty looking and whatever else her hat can fit in. It's like the pulling-the-rabbit-out-of-the-hat only that you pull these prank-tools instead._

'One question: revenge for what?' James asked as more prank-plan-ingredients poured out of Lily's hat and wand. Amazing how she can keep them in there. Some spell, perhaps.

'For them Maggles. And the Slytherins. And EVERYONE!!!'

'The rest…'

'Retired.'

'Right,' Petunia sniffed. 'Measly wizards and witch. Now teach me how to use these things! And can I keep some for my friends at school? There's this girl I want to go at. Thanks.'

Lily drew a large circle around the dance floor (refreshments aside—no one's at the tables) with the chalk. James released the mice into the chalk-ring. The frogs hopped in voluntarily. Petunia was busy sprinkling the potion vial's contents, deciding that because it's a _potion, it's bound to do something. And because it came from Lily, it's at an even greater risk of being something very destructive or evil or something that has got to do with pranks._

She was right. The horrified students had purple chicken poxes in a blink of an eye.

**

'So my room's 139,' James said, holding a small piece of parchment.

'Mine's 140,' Lily said. 'This is like a hotel!' Pastilla and Pattempt had given them their rooms, giggling and winking at each other in a rather mischievous manner. The two Marauders were wondering if it's some kind of a joke, them being famous and all. After all, who wouldn't love to see two of the Marauders's Leaders caught in a 13-year-old prank?

It would be priceless, nevertheless.

Lily opened the door and stared into the black room. She fingered for a switch, but soon hit herself into remembering that this is a wizard house and wizard mansions don't have switches and electricity, let alone hear of them. How many times had that dongo muggle-lover Arthur called electricity Ekplectipity? Hah, and he got full credit for that subject in his OWLs and NEWTs!

'Lumos,' she murmured, pulling her wand out. The faint shimmer of the wands tip brighten the room a little. A candelabra was hanging at one side of the wall. She lighted that, and saw a few more on the other side of the room and further up.

'I thought that house-elves do these jobs!' Lily muttered resentfully. 'No wonder they have so many tinder boxes. Oh well, this placee sure I big, though. Sleep, here I come!!! Watch out for me, Lily Evans Superior Extraordinaire!'

But before sleeping…

'Check the windows,' Lily said to herself. 'Can't have anyone planting owls in the rafters again. Or let in a stream of rain. Or the breeze. Honestly, living near the window's a nightmare in disguise!'

The window was large and of old-fashioned shape. Lily threw it open to check the rafters, and found a spacious balcony. She blinked. She hadn't been transported to some great palace by mistake, has she?

'Hey! Lily!' Adele called. Lily spun. Adele was sitting in her balcony, just next to Lily's. 'Nice place, huh? Like a hotel.'

'Um, yeah…' It reminds her more of the Grand Palace somewhere in some country. Her OB (out of body) exploration couldn't have mistaken this- this gigantic mansion for a palace, could it??? 

Nah, it's not that stupid!

'Where's James?'

'Over there.'

'There where?'

'Shut up, Adele.'

'Where were you, then? I couldn't find you anywhere a while ago,' Adele said. She turned towards the sky, now clouded with rolling grey clouds. 'Aah… flying with Jimmy now, right?'

Lily snorted. Must lie, must lie. 'Of course not! I was kidnapped for a moment by a dog!'

'Huh? Sirius? You're betraying James?!' Adele cried.

'NO! I didn't say that the dog was a hound! It was a puppy! A- a- a-' Lily's mind raced for "cute, loveable puppies that can kidnap one's sight" or a sort of type. 'A-…!'

Adele stared at her expectantly in amusement, sipping her orange juice.

'A—Argh, I don't know what sorta dog he is! It's not a hound. The end.'

'Liar liar,' Adele sang. 'James's broomstick was nowhere to be seen! Hah, you need better prove, Evans! Anyway, we have pretty big rooms, huh? A large window, ventilation shafts, curtains, four-poster-giant-size-bed and big, fluffy pillows. I'll have a nice sleep!'

'Have your nice sleep, then,' Lily scowled. Adele was annoying her already. Getting on her nerves. 'Well, g'night.'

Lily changed into her pajamas with a simple flick of her wrist, pocketed her wand, wash her face, brushed her teeth and rinsed her feet (according to some superstition; she wasn't quite sure what). She climbed onto the big bed (it seemed much bigger than a king sized one), drew her covers and went to bed.

Promptly five seconds later, she sat bolt upright, wide awake. Someone was definitely in this room. And that somebody was _on her bed. And Lily, being at least a wee bit sane, did the one thing that came into her mind: she shrieked._

Surprisingly, so did her invader. And it was a voice she recognize. Lily hurriedly shut her mouth automatically. So did her invader.

Alright, Lily gritted to herself, I'll show this idiot-invader who's the dangerous one in here! _Fire!!! Light this room up!_

A burst of flames poofed out of nowhere and lighted the room.

Lily stared.

So did her invader.

'What are _you doing in __my room?' they both yell at the same time._

_____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: my sorry attempt at a cliffhanger EVERYONE knows. Sheesh. It's just too bad that FF.N has to delete this story and I had a bad time hunting for the file in my labyrinth folders [I honestly swear that you'll die losing in there!] and when I FINALLY got them, I realize that the first chapter [this] and the third chapter went in smokes. Don't ask me how. I guess I was lucky to have my diskette copy. I guess I'll get the next chapter out next week, when I'm allowed on the computer again. How hateful. Computer time only TWICE a week. Sheesh, I'm starting to wonder if I live in a different version of Azkaban yet!

 Uhm, I hope FF.N wouldn't delete this story again… *sigh* It's just unfair!!!! I didn't violate the guidelines and I didn't do anything wrong! Weird, don't ask how. I think I'd better pull out my paper and pencil and began questioning now. Just hope Denise's there…

  Review, please? It's okay if you don't want to ^_^


	2. Plannings

I had no idea that people'd still review *sniffles* thankies! I had chapter 2 and 3 together now :) I can't find the rest yet… had to comb the folders again…

Disclaimer: Do I look like a millionaire??? Do I even SOUND like it? Am I even ONE??? Yeah, that's the disclaimer, because the answers are No.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The Marauding Five : Year Six 

Chapter 2: Plannings 

  'What are _you_ doing in here?' Lily cried, loosening her grip on the covers.

  'I'd like to ask you the same thing! This is my room, Lily!' James retorted.

  'Well, you're mistaken, because you're definitely – D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y – wrong!'

  'Well, I—'

  The door swung open and a crowd stood outside, half of them in their nightgowns, another quarter in pajamas and the rest are in… what? Still in robes??? Probably still partying, despite the Slippery Floor Charm Lily had used. Pastira Thore, who had unlocked the door, gasped. The Marauders, Petunia and Adeline were among the nosey people outside.

  'What's happening?' Adele asked bluntly.

  'James Potter! What are you doing?!'

  'How come you get such a big room? I envy you!'

  'Who yelled? What? How? Where? Oh yes, it's here. What happened?'

  'Er, why're we here?'

  'Who killed who?'

  'HONESTLY, people, this is my room!!!!' James yelled.

  'No, it's not! It's mine!' Lily retorted. 'Don't you have _eyes_?'

  'Of course I do!' James said hotly. 'And it wasn't me who was blind! You came into _my_ room!'

  'I _locked_ the door, genius.'

  'My key _opened_ this door! It couldn't open any other door!!! And since _I_ unlock this door, I thought it's my room! After all, I'm only given the key to my room, right? Right. Don't be daft, Lily.'

  Pastira gaped open-mouthly (how else would you gape?). Lily was about to make a smart reply when the hostess halted her.

  'Wait,' Pastira said. 'Pastilla!!! Pattempt!!!' A patter of footsteps ran in.

  'Yeah, Tira?' Pattempt said innocently.

  'Don't call me "Tira"!!! It's PASTIRA! Anyway, what did you _do_ with their keys?' Pastira yelled (much to the amusement of her other fellow Ravenclaws). 'I said that Evans was to have room 140 and Potter 139!' Pastilla shivered. Her sister isn't someone you'd like to cross. Especially in public.

  'B-but we d-did.'

  'Explain _this_!' Pastira said savagely, grabbing James and Lily's keys frfom the table. Both keys were exactly the same, marked with a streak of blue and yellow across it. The twins gulped.

  'Err… w-we w-were a-asked to- to—'

  'To what? Who asked you what?'

  'Well, I asked them to do it,' Sirius said.

  'Oh? Do what?'

  'Well, I thought that it'd be fun to see how those two would react if they found themselves in a room. It WAS fun, wasn't it?' Pastira's eyebrow arched at Sirius's broad grin.

  'Switch the keys is fun?'

  'No. Give them the same keys. Come on, you have to admit that it's wonderful!'

  Pastira would've killed him, if looks can kill.

  She sighed. 'James, Lily, I'm really sorry about this and I apologize on my – _stupid_ – twins' behalf,' Pastilla said, stressing the italic with a glare to her siblings. They meekly handed her another key; a grey and green one. 'Here's your key, James.'

  'What, you mean this ISN'T my room???'

  'Whoohoo, I won, Jimmy! This _is_ my room!'

  The others left the room, Sirius giving them a toothy grin. 'Y'know, you can join the yelling competition someday.'

  'Well?' Lily said.

  'Well what?'

  'Aren't you leaving?'

  James shrugged, grabbed his key and bent over to kiss her on her lips.

  'Good night!' he greeted, strutting out (on purpose) with his face pulled into a weirdly funny expression. Lily locked the door firmly after him and placed a spell on it, just in case Sirius and Pastilla and Pattempt had decided to let someone else break in again.

 She sat back in bed, quite wide awake (from the surprise, no doubt). There was something about tonight that made her acted so strangely. Not only her, James too. How is it that, after so long of two years that they actually – yuck – confess her love? How is it that her normally wild - alright, if it's not wild, it has to be somewhat near that and insane – attitude is tamed into some boring (she shuddered) mushy mushy romance one for the night?

  Yuck, yuck, yuck!!!!

  Worst of all, will it EVER leave?

  Alright, breathe, breathe. Breathe. Check. Heart still beating. Check. Mind able to make a little sense. Check. Spirit disorder. Check—er, uncheck.

  Everything's normal. Is it? Then why is she _confused_? Why is it that, deep in her heart that she would give anything – not everything, though – to get her own carefree, happy-go-lucky self again? Would she get her old self back? The one with an unpredictable cheeky mind? Or would she be stuck forever, in this- this GRUESOME way?

  Life is so complicated.

  Lily shuddered in the empty room. Now that she has broken the train of thoughts, she realized something about this room suddenly. It seemed a little eerie, as if ghosts were in it. Lily never like haunted rooms. And the silence without even a breaking clatter was, evidently, haunting on its own accord. It might be—a) those pesky Maggles; b) some other ghosts.

  Not one is appealing. She made her mind up hurriedly.

  With a flick of her wand, Lily dressed herself in loose pants and sweater. She went to her balcony and starting climbing the wall. Anyone with a sane piece of mind would have thought her mad.

  Which is exactly what her actions are anyway: Mad.

**

  Rap rap rap! Rap rap rap!

  James woke up sleepily in his bed. Was that the ceiling breaking? Bother!

  Rap rap rap!

  …Maybe not. Ceilings don't do "rap" because they usually "crash". He wore his glasses and stared out in the pitch dark, trying to place where the annoying rapping noise came from. He turned to the window with a disturbing feeling. His jaw dropped. Lily was hanging upside down with a look of bothered annoyance on her annoyed face.

  What did she want now?

  He opened the sliding door and the girl ran in thankfully, chattering helplessly.

  'What do you want?' James yawned, handing her some covers. Lily wrapped it around her thankfully.

  'I'm bored.'

  'Oh, so you think waking me up is the smartest choice of curing boredom? Ha ha. Not funny.'

  'Well, it is the point… and I'm very glad that you didn't shriek. People are deciding to send me to the asylum already,' Lily said dryly.

  'Why am I not surprised?'

  'How should I know? Besides, I'm lonely!' Lily whimpered pitifully. James snorted. Lily? Scared? Now this is getting funny. 'Honest! The room's looking sinister all of a sudden!'

  'Right, prove it to me,' James said sarcastically. 'You can have the couch though. I'm keeping the bed.'

  'Gee, thanks. How can I ever repay you? I'll never forget this—if I can help it.'

  'Whatever.'

**

  'Hey! Wake up! Dumbledore'll be announcing our OWLs!' Adele yelled, banging at Lily's door. No answer. 'Wake up! Hey! Alohomora!'

  The door swung open. The room was empty, and the bed was unmade. Adele stared at the room.

  'Lily? Don't play hide and seek now,' Adele said. Silence.

  'James? James, open the door!' Sirius and Remus yelled, banging James's door.

  'Where's Lily?'

  'No idea. Hey, Prongs! Wake up! You're missing breakfast!'

  'Hey—Alohomo—'

  BOOM! The door swung open and hit Remus on the face squarely. The boy howled.

  'Really? I missed breakfast? Aaaah!' Lily shrieked.

  'What are _you_ doing in James's room?' Adele exclaimed.

  'BREAKFAST!!!!!' James yelled. The duo raced off almost immediately, much to the surprise of the other three.

  'What…?' Remus stammered in startled-ness, completely unrecovered from the slam.

x*x

  '… and now, I shall give you your OWL results,' Dumbledore said. 'Please meet me in the room, thank you,' he said, just as Lily and James ran in in their muggle clothes.

  'Where's food?' Lily asked urgently, as if it were more important than her life, which to her, it is because you can't live without food.

  'Breakfast is after this,' Pastira said.

  'Oh, Adeline and Petunia went home a while ago,' Tally said. 'By Floo Network.'

  'Home?' Lily echoed, frowning. 'The doors are locked and so's the fireplace.'

  'Leaky cauldron.'

  'Oh. Okay. What about our OWL?' James asked.

  'Meet Dumbledore when he calls for you.'

  'Ahem,' Adele said. 'Mind if I take them for a short walk, Tal? Thanks. 'And without waiting for a reply, she dragged them out into the garden.

  'What?' Lily asked.

  'You owe us an explanation,' Sirius said severely.

  'And a bandage for my nose,' Remus nodded, indicating is red but-not-broken-yet nose.

  'What explanation?' James asked.

  'Why Lily isn't in her room.'

  'Because there are _ghosts_ in there!' Lily said, flapping her hands. 'And I'm not sure if it's a good one!'

  'How should we know? You might be lying,' Adele said slyly.

"Look, ickle little Lily saw us!"

  The five Marauders groaned, recognizing the all-so-familiar voice of James Chore. The presence of one Maggle means the presence of all Maggles. Sirius Brad flew out f a flowerpot suddenly.

"Pi po pi po pi po pi po," he called. Mad guy, he is.

  'What are you morons up to now?' Adele asked.

  'Trying to make us die,' Sirius suggested.

  'Probably showing off.'

  'Boring!'

  Lily yawned.

"Watch your manners! This is your former self here!" Adele Green said pompously

  'Maybe we should consider jumping off a cliff now, folks, just to let them fade out of existance—for good!'

  'Yeah. Go ahead. Kill the witch,' Sirius said. Adele glared. He had obviously meant "kill Adele".

"Wanna know what happened last night?" Lily Trenna said.

  'What?'

"We haunted room 140! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Remus Pepper howled.

  'Lousy werewolf,' Remus muttered. 'They go "aruu" and he went "mwahahaha."'

"Excuse me?"

"That's an insult, in case you're too slow to catch it," Chore said.

"Anyway, guess what?" Green said brightly.

  'You saw our OWL results and they're just like yours,' Lily said boringly. The Maggles applauds to her.

  'You know, this is getting a little eerie,' Adele said.

  'Why?'

  'We're all very alike them in many ways – looks, powers and bla bla bla, etcetera, right?'

  'Yes…'

  'So what's your point?'

  'What if our'—Adele gulped—'fate and destiny are the same, too? We'll die a horrid death like them and probably disappear, just like that!! Poof!'

"Well, I used to think reincarnation as a second chance in life," Trenna said.

  'If so, then—'

  'Hey, Black! It's your turn!' Thomas DeAnne yelled. Sirius hurried off. 'What are you doing? This garden's empty except for wild grass and a pinch of flowers.'

  'DeAnne, did you just criticze _my_ garden?' Pastira said viciously. The boy began sweating profusely.

  'Tit's yours? Er, I thought it was your, erm, mother's! Yeah, your mother's!  the work is so- so- so- so- so- so pretty! Yeah! Very pretty!'

"Odd guy. First ugly, then pretty," Pepper said.

  'You know he's just lying,' Remus shrugged.

  After ten minutes of reasoning with the Maggles, Sirius reappeared, ghostly white in face.

"What happened?" his past self asked curiously.

  'Mom? Here? Mom? Vacation? Dad? Here? Work? Vacation? East? Europe? Huh? What? Vacation?' Sirius said blankly. Which is, of course, very unintelligent talk.

  'What are you talking about?' James asked.

  'Here? Huh? Thore? Mansion? Vacation? Europe? Work? Huh?'

"Crazy guy," Pepper muttered.

  'Say so yourself,' Remus countered. He was getting really annoyed with this- this _stupid_ attitude of his former self. He (Remus Pepper) was severely annoying, banging and yelling. Remus almost believed that Pepper really existed, from the way he behaved. Especially his company whenever Remus have his monthly transformation. Ugh. Pepper transformed with him, too, and it's the worst part because he was usually alone at that time (save when Anne Lupin, his mum, accompanies to see "her darling baby" okay).

  'What do you mean?' Adele asked, turning to Sirius.

  The same words were repeated from the zoned-out boy.

"I think he heans that his mother's here when she's suppose to be on vacation," Trenna said helpfully.

  Unlike Remus's negativeness on his former life, Lily was enjoying the insane, fun-loving Trenna (at some points, when she's not being annoying). For one, she ha the bes ideas. For another, she knew exactly how Lily should treat James (giving her tips on insults).

  'Wonderful! That means OUR mothers are here, too,' Lily groaned.

  'E~vans!!!' Pattempt yelled, breaking a few windows.

  'Coming!!!' Lily yelled, disappearing into the front door.

  '80 to 20 that she'll bomb Dumbledore for bringing her mother,' James said cheerfully.

  'I'd said it's 70 to 30,' Remus voted.

  '90 to 10 would be appropriate,' Adele said.

  '10 to 90 she wouldn't,' Sirius said solemnly. 'The minister of magic is there to note our behaviour.'

"Oh my," Trenna said worriedly. "I'd better check her out, then."

"Seems really friendly," Brad noted.

"Remus Lupin hates me," Pepper said sadly, letting out a sniff.

Remus's ear pricked uncomfortably. 'I-I don't!'

  Pepper began to sniffle a little more. Green placed a white sympathic hand on his invisible shoulder. Chore hugged him tightly and Brad sent a glare at Remus meanly. Remus quailed.

"Don't worry, he just don't know what he's missing," Chore said.

  Great, Remus said to himself. Now I have a really touchy, supremely sensitive cursed werewolf as my guardian. I wonder if our places has actually traded: me the guardian, him my client.

  Lily stomped out stormily, Trenna hot on her heels.

"Rose actually told me off!!! The cheek!" she shrieked.

  'And the minister!! Once I'm at an age to vote, I'll throw him OFF the post! Or better, kill him!' Lily shrieked. The Maggles and Marauders stared at the two uncertainly.

"Erm, yes," Chore said nervously.

  'Couldn't… agree better,' James added. Like Lily, he had a good bond with his Maggle. They got along perfectly well.

**

  'And remember, you're a young lady already, so don't act stupid,' Rose said firmly to her daughter. Lily decided to ignore her and pushed her trolley through the barrier with Adele. Her mother had been really – and I mean, REALLY – annoying during the last few weeks of the summer holiday. She was only too glad to return to Hogwarts for peace.

  'Hey, wait,' Yvonne Potter said, running after them. 'Lily, I'm telling you, don't you _dare_ date any boys but James!'

  Lily groaned. This is getting stupid.

  'Yeah, yeah. Whatever,' she muttered, handing some grains to Castria and Kiara.

  'Young lady, are you listening?' William Evans yelled.

  'YES!'

  'And don't let me hear you into prank-business!' Rose yelled, yanking Lily's long hair.

  'Ow! Okay, okay! I'm listening! I'll do it, I'll do it!'

  'No dating other boys,' Yvonne said. Adele sniggered. Like Lily would even _date_. The word hasn't appeared in her vocabulary yet, it seems.

  'Except James,' Melissa Black said cheerfully.

  'No pranks,' Anne Lupin pressed.

  'And watch the attitude,' Rose nearly – _nearly_ – snarled.

  The other Marauders were seriously wondering if Lily is ever going to follow all those rules. Adeline was nodding her head to everything suggested. Petunia had a horrified look and turned white in face.

  'What do you mea? No _social life_?!' Petunia said in aghast.

  'That's not exactly what they meant,' Lily grinned. 'They were merely stating that I shouldn't date'—nods from the Evans and Potters—'make sure my attitude is as wild as ever'—jaws separate from the upper lips—'and new pranks'—eyes turn REALLY wide and jaws hit the ground—'right, dear, dear mother?' Lily said sweetly. One glance at Rose's face told her that she was totally mistaken in the point of the question.

  'I agree with Tuni-Ya,' Sirius whispered. 'I mean, how're we gonna torture Snape, then?'

  'It's time us mothers should turn responsible,' Anne said firmly. 'We let you roam wild. Too wild. It's time all of you learn proper manners. After all, you're all sixteen (or going to be) already.' James coughed on his coke.

  'All?!' he spluttered.

  'All. No pranks. No jokes. _Only_ studies,' Yvonne said coldly. 'Your last "prank" with Snape which earned you two months of detention confirmed this. You should be gracious to your enemy, no matter how much you hate him.'

  'And the cow incident. That's… embarrassing,' Edward Potter said, straining to NOT let the chuckle escape from him. Personally, he found it amusing, the way the cows had toppled off one another like toy blocks.

  'Well, I think we deserve all the freedom we have!' Remus said suddenly. 'We helped stop Voldemort AT LEAST twice. We helped Neptune find his dodo-stupid cousin. We brought – oh, Lily did first, though – the Maggles back. It's inevitable job. We saved an entire population of unicorns. We did all sorts of things! We deserve the freedom he earn!' Remus banged on his trunk like a very diplomatic … politician.

  'Psst! When did we actually save any unicorn population?' Adele whispered. Sirius kicked her and sent her a Look.

  'Yeah! We did! See our contribution to the, um, world?'

  'And your disgrace to us,' Romulus Lupin said darkly. 'I couldn't face my colleagues for a week after your cow-tumble incident in that muggle village. And to think that I, a Head Minister of the new Muggle Wellfare Department, should have a son which destroys muggle produce.'

  'Joy,' Lily grinned. 'But we didn't really destroy anything. We magicked them back!' she retorted.

  'Fat help. The Emergency Squad was dispatched,' Orion Black said flatly.

  'We want you to behave yourself this term, or we won't take you in for Christmas, Easter and yes, even your Summer!' Celine said coldly.

  'Mum!' Adeline cried. 'How can you say such a thing?'

  'Adele has already gone to far.' Pause.

  'But mum!!!'

  'Keep quiet, Adeline.'

  'Yes, mum.'

  'You really couldn't do this to us!' Lily cried, her green eyes flashing.

  'We're sixteen! And we know how we should be!' James argued. 'You can't control us at all!'

  'Exactly. Not after what we'd don't to the world,' Remus said matter-of-factly.

  'No!' Adele cried in despair.

  'That's unfair,' Sirius noted.

  Rose's eyes flashed with anger. 'You listen to us, you young kids, or I'll toast all of you!'

  'Hogwarts Express!' William said thankfully, when the clock striked. 'Go along now. Bye bye!'

  'I'm not done with them yet, William!'

  'Ta-ta! See you next holidays!' And the fathers ushered the Marauders into the carriage.

  'How could they do this to us?' Adele fumed, sitting on her trunk tartly. 'No detention for the whole term, no pranks, study… this is- it's- it's— impossible!!!!!'

  'And if we don't do it'—Remus shuddered—'hasta la vista to summer holidays.'

  'Turning us out, that's what they're doing,' Sirius said.

  'Well, we can always buy a house,' James said gloomily. 'And there's always my Gram Em to take us if she wants to. But she hates us.'

  'Maybe we _should_ buy ourselves a nice house,' Lily sighed. 'Just in case our parents really mean what they said. Maybe we should get all our money and get a huge mansion. Maybe I should contact a lawyer now. Maybe—'

  'MAYBE,' Remus said loudly, 'it's time to stop this "maybe maybe" stuff.' They nod glumly in agreement. They sighed. If the other sixth years were here now, they'll be rushing for a doctor. The Marauders don't sigh glumly! Not them!

  But right now, not one of the five cared about that. Never had they seen their parents this serious before.

  Sirius jumped up suddenly and dug into his trunk for an inkbottle, quill and a parchment. The four stared at him curiously as he sat down and began writing slowly and neatly on the parchment in his best handwriting.

  'What's this for?'

  'I'm taking up Lily's suggestions. Just in case out parents really turn us out, we'd better get ourselves a place to stay in. I'm sending for a house that's at least 7, 000, 000 galleons, as that is how much I'll pay for a house,' Sirius said. 'Then, with all our money, we'd be able to get furniture, food and so on.'

  'You're a genius!' Lily said happily.

  'That amount of money is enough for a _mansion_,' Adele gaped. 'And we have at least 100 million from that crummy lucky draw!' A little refreshment to the minds. The Marauders had entered a lucky draw and used some cheating schemes (no doubt, with Lily's divinating skills and a few itsy-bitsy minor of Psychic) to win it. Now they have a full-house in their accounts.

  No one said that you have to play fair in Lucky Draws. It's just a little loophole in the law that the five discovered in _Lucky Pot For Wizards_. Winning the Grand Prize is as easy as that.

  'Talk about being rich,' Remus grinned. 'We're definitely rich. We have 5 accounts between us and a spare one shared with Tuni-ya and Adeline.'

  'Now, for our lawyer,' James started.

  'Wait, I know who!' Adele said cheerfully. 'Recently, I've just heard that Rotten Ripp – our old DADA teacher, remember? – got himself a job as a lawyer, with Neptune to help. Don't you think we could ask them?'

  'Why not?' Sirius said instantly.

  'And if our parents are just joking, it wouldn't bother,' James said. 'It's for our _future,_ then.

  'Our age is a problem, though,' Remus said, frowning. 'Legal age for a wizard is seventeen.'

  'Why worry? My birthday's on January second, in case you'd forgotten,' Sirius said, grinning. 'Hurray for me! Long live me! I rule! Yeah!!!'

  'Is one year long enough for a house?'

  'Huh?'

  'I mean, long enough to have it built,' Lily said, 'and furnished.'

  'Yeah, yeah! Like mum said, you can do anything if you have the cash!' Sirius said happily. 'No worries for no home to return to! Normal routines, here we come!'

**

  Adele rushed into the common room madly, two days after they had arrived at Hogwarts. She waved a copy of Daily Prophet in her hand in ecstasy.

  'Look, Lily, look!' Adele cried, pointing at the headlines, written in bold, somewhere near the column part, "**_Chinese Wizard Teenagers Have To Abide Family Traditions: Change Of Law._**"

  'Hm… let's se… place, blah, Chinese teenagers of wizards and witches these days are following family traditions of betrothed marriage – huh, sound a lot like James and me! – bla bla bla bla bla. So the ministry discussed it internationally, bla bla blah. Teenage problems include running from home. Bla bla bla. Legal age to purchase a home. Fifteen,' Lily read, skipping half the points (and useless points) in the article. She paused before exclaiming, 'Fifteen?! How old do they marry, then???'

  'Fourteen?' Remus suggested.

  'But here's a fabulous chance of getting a new home! I'm sending the letter this instance!' Sirius said happily, darting off. He seemed pretty happy at the whole idea of getting a new house. His mother must have starved him, again. Tally Chapman sneezed as he ran past her, shoulder-length hair brushing at her nose.

  'What are you planning now?' Tally asked.

  'Umpf!' Adele said, Remus's hand preventing her tell-tale mouth from talking.

  'How's dear, sweet, Daniel Trevor?' Lily asked sweetly.

  'Rotten good,' Tally replied, scowling darkly at the name of her ex-boyfriend. 'When will he ever drop dead, I wonder.'

  'I wonder of the wonders of love,' Adele said tartly. 'You never seem to get along, yet you got along. Sometimes, I wonder, if your relation with him is lust, not love.'

  'Actually, no,' James said, putting his quill down. 'Hers is those love-hate romances you usually read in stories, only her is a little… different. They never really get along in the end. But it could be, perhaps, that it isn't the end yet.'

_____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: Like I said, the next chapter's out. *shrugs*


	3. Tessie

The Marauding Five : Year Six

**Chapter 3: Tessie **

'Rotten Ripp?!' Remus gasped, when he saw his ex-DADA teacher.

'Huh?' Sirius said sleepily.

'He, huh, what?' James mumbled.

'What do you think they're doing?' Remus asked, pointing at the window.

'The window isn't doing anything much, Remus,' James said, wearing his glasses. 'It's doing a great job in its job--being a window!'

'I mean, Rottie down there! I thought he became a lawyer,' Remus said, eyeing Sirius. 'And lawyers don't dress in brown robes resembling tree trunks, and hats that look like they were plucked from brinjals.'

'He did,' Sirius yawned. 'He has an appointment with me today, about the landmark.'

'You mean, you actually - truly, HONESTLY - asked him to be our lawyer?!'

'Yes, why not?'

'Because, idiot, he's got a rotten brain! That's why his mother called him Rotten!' James yelled.

'It seemed to be getting better, the brain,' Sirius said carelessly. 'Besides, where'd he?'

'Rippy guy is down there,' Remus said matter-of-factly, pointing at the window.

'That's a window,' James said bluntly.

'Don't be too literal, Potter!'

'Beyond the window's just a rock and the grass,' James said flatly.

'What?'

'It's a rock. The one we usually picnic on,' Sirius said.

Remus turned to the window and stared. There wasn't anything there. The lake was as calm as, er, the unmoving sky, minus the fact that there were a couple of disturbing ripples by the equally disturbing wind who hadn't got anything better to do than to destroy the calmness.

'Guess I'm... seeing things,' Remus said decidedly but not too convincingly.

**

'And then,' Sita said, her voice dropping into a barely audible whisper, 'came footsteps.' Dan clucked his soles onto the bare stone floor, causing a rather distinct sound of a footstep. The Gryffindor house were crowding in their common room, each taking turn to tell a ghost story or any story that's eerie.

'Dan!' Thomas Macmillan cried. 'You're annoying!' Dan only snickered.

'The wolf howled loudly through her window,' Sita whispered, holding Sirius's torchlight under her chin to create the eerie face. Unfortunately, though, she has a rather bad timing for scary expressions. Dan, however, fixed this. He swung his head over and howled loudly. Like a wolf. Remus shivered.

'Dan Trevor, SHUT UP!' James snapped. 'Or I'll take points off!'

'Okay, okay!' Dan said, holding his hands up in defeat. 'Just thought it'd be fun.'

'Well, it's tiring,' Tally snapped. Dan silenced quietly and Sita continued.

'She let out a sharp, piercing scream,' Sita said, rousing her voice to entice her listeners.

A sharp, shrill and positively hair-rising scream pierced the silent darkness. Everyone turned to Dan sharply, glaring venomously.

'Trevor...' A seventh year gritted.

'I swear, it wasn't me!' Dan said.

Another high-pitched scream sounded.

'See??' Dan said. Head Girl, Millie-Dint, lighted up the candelabras to brighten the room. The Gryffindors, especially the first and second year students, shivered and hurdled together in a tight circle.

'Prefects have to protect us,' Pastilla said nervously. The unfortunate prefects and Head Girl were kicked out of the circle at once.

'Hey!' Lily protested.

'You're a prefect,' Millie-Dint said casually. 'And I'm'--she gulped--'A head girl. Oh joy.'

'Why us?' Micky Kay whined. 'I'm a NEW prefect!'

'So am I,' Cherrie-la Bott said. 'But you're a boy! I'm a harmless, helpless girl!'

'This is so unfair!' James said. 'I mean, we have only 5 prefects and one HeadGirl! And you want us to protect ALL OF YOU? Look at it this way. Only 6 people to protect the whole tower. Are you sure???'

'Yes, quite,' Michael Joht said thoughtfully. Chip Clunk racked his brains and Terrykins Splatters stared absently at the sky.

'I'll remember to break up with you,' Millie-Dint said sullenly. This had Michael thinking again.

'We, what about toublemakers? I mean, they're rubbish to us, right? This'll be their detention then!' Sarah Cepter suggested brightly. This was automatically carried out at once. The Head girl and prefects were drawn back in, the Marauders were pushed out.

'Hey!!!'

'Trouble has a price,' Nina said sweetly. Adele's eyes flashed at her angrily.

'We're not the only troublemakers in here!'

'Because you're the worst,' Tally supplied.

'The longest,' added Splatters.

'Annoying,' Jeremy added.

'Downright disturbing,' Charite added.

'Pests,' Tilla said.

'Show off gits,' Nina added sarcastically. Lily polished her wand calmly as the house gave more and more reasons (and insults) to why they are chosen over the many pranksters in Gryffindor house.

'Don't you know what risk you all are in?' James said calmly when they paused to think of more reasons.

'Nope. We have the Head on our side!'

'Let's try, say... curses?' Remus suggested.

'Or black--' Sirius was muffled by Adele.

'The Unforgiveables!!!' Lily said happily.

'You can't use them at all, dearie,' Millie-Dint said.

'Dearie?!'

'Um, kids? Teenagers? Er, friends?'

'Better, but how about Dark Arts?' James said. 'We all know what prodigy geniuses the Marauders are, don't we?'

'No, because they're all fibs,' Splatters said.

'How about our superb Keeper? And Chasers and beater? Sure you don't want them to die!' Adele said. 'That sounds a lot like a banshee wail. I thought we all wanted the Quidditch cup,' she added calmly. The Gryffindors started eenie-minnie-mini-moe.

'Let's just call Dumbledore,' Pattempt suggested finally.

BOOM!!! The portrait dor opened harshly ('YOW!' the Fat Lady shrieked) and McGonagall marched in.

'Off to the Great Hall, Gryffindors!'

**

The students stared at each other as half of the older siblings went in search for their younger siblings, to booss them around no doubt, and to get some "priases" from their friends for being 'such a responsible brother/sister!' That's just what most older brothers or sisters do anyway. Seek attention from the younger fry's friends.

'What's that?' Adele asked, squinting at the High Tables. She had some eyesight problem during the night time, though it had just started two days ago.

'A mer-chief, I think. Has that weird circlet thing,' Sirius said, 'And Neptune.'

'Any idea of what they're saying?' Lily asked.

'Sounds gibberish to me,' Remus said.

'The Mer-person said "I'll take Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. You take Slytherin and Hufflepuff,"' James translated to his friends, being good at weird languages animals and creatures and beasts use. 'And Neptune says, "No. I take Gryffindor and Raveclaw. You can have the other two. I know some kids."'

'Why are they arguing over... our houses?' Lily asked in puzzlement.

'Beats me.'

Dumbledore was standing between the two and was staring peacefully at the crescent moon and the twinkling stars. The four house heads were looking stern, fidgeting every now and then as the mer-person yell or Neptune growl.

'What about if we ask them for their opinions?' Dumbledore said. 'I'm sure they will be given a chance of opinion, right?' Stare from the two beings. Blink, blink.

'Gib, ukh, ah gib,' the merperson said. He went on and on with his 'gibs' and 'ukhs' for some few seconds.

'Thank you.'

'What did he say?' Adele whispered.

'The merperson? "Whatever,"' James replied casually.

'For such a long speech, whatever seems very out of place,' Remus said.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and turned to the sea of students. He said to them, 'The Squid - this fine, young man here'--he turned to Neptune--'and the merchief, Glippers, are declaring a war.' Gasps filled the now-silent Great Hall of Hogwarts.

'Aw, shucks, Glippers, we have fans!!!' Neptune gushed, turning to Glippers. He frowned and scowled blackly in gibberish at Neptune.

'And as he was saying,' Neptune said, referring to Dumbledore, 'we want an army to fight with. I'm taking--'

'Gryffindor!!' Glippers yelled. 'And Ravenclaw! They are mine!' He was speaking English now, much to everyone's surprise.

'No, no! Gryffindor's mine!' Neptune snapped. 'Ravenclaws are too smart for stuffed brains like you cold fishies in the lake!'

'Fish!!!' Glippers cried in an insulted tone. 'Why, you're a fried sotong!!!'

'Sotong? What on earth is that? You can't even speak in perfect English!'

'And you! You're a disgrace to the waters! You do not speak Gibberish!' Glippers yelled.

'It was you who started this fight!'

'Was you!'

'Do not!'

'I do not!'

'You do!'

'Not!'

'Do!'

'Not!'

'Not!'

'Not!'

'Do! ...Oops!'

'Hah!!' Neptune said triumphantly. 'You just admitted to that!!'

'This is getting stupid,' Remus muttered.

'GRYFFINDOR IS MINE AND SO IS RAVENCLAW!!!!' Neptune yelled. Both houses groaned. Glippers yelled back the very same words. Neptune yelled back. Glippers yelled again...

And it went on and on.

**

The next morning, Glippers and Neptune were chompping up food. They were eating chicken, duck, eggs, vegetables, puddings, noodles, cakes, spagetthis... everything! Well, almost everything. Neither of them would touch the seafood.

'Moof! Mor for gof!' Neptune called to Glippers. The merperson ignored him.

'What are they up to now?' Remus frowned.

'I don't like the way they took our tables,' Sirius said sulkily. Both the squid and merman had combined all the four houses' tables and were gobbling all the food on it. The other students weren't please with it either.

'Professor, isn't there anything we can do?' Millie-Dint asked helplessly. Dumbledore just sighed. The Marauders excanged glances. They had never seen the crackpot old wzard sigh before--never! He always had a solution to everything!

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The hall residents shuddered, especially the Gryffindors. It was the same yell they heard hast night. High-pitched, quivery and evil. It sounded, as Adele had so kindly pointed out a day earlier, like a banshee.

'Aieee!' the little girl shrieked.

'What's this... KID doing here?' Millia-Dint asked, frowning inwardly in annoyance. 'She looked barely over 5!'

'Quiet, Tessie!' a lady hushed. 'That's your daddy competing! He needs to concentrate!'

'But mummy!' little Tessie cried. The students blinked. Daddy? Mummy? Tessie? What on earth is happening???

'Neptune, will you please hurry up? You promised Tessie that you wil bring her for a tour,' the lady said gently. Neptune looked up from his food, but his hands continually stuffed more food into his mouth.

'Daddy, quick! Or I'll scream!!!' Tessie yelled impatiently. At that, Neptune shut his mouth hurriedly. His hands, though, squashed some cream puffs onto his face.

'No! Don't scream!' he squeaked, or at least, it sounded like a squeak probably because his voicebox was too muffled. 'You know you have banshee wail.'

'Daddy?' Lily said incredously, finally sounding up, looking from Tessie to Neptune to the lady beside the little girl. She began laughing at once.

'Ah! Lily Evans!' Neptune said in recognition. 'Hello, Evans! This is Tessie, my daughter. And this is Cephie, my wife.' Cephie nodded at Lily and gang sweetly, but Tessie merely pouted.

'Tessie, say how do you do to them,' Cephie said sweetly, stroking Tessie's wavy red hair gently. The girl turned away haughtily.

'They aren't from the sea! And they definitely do NOT have any royal blood in them!' the girl said snobbishly, turning her nose up. Remus considered chopping that a-bit-too-long nose.

Tessie is, of course, a princess if you hadn't gathered it yet, being Neptune's daughter.

'Spoiled brat,' James muttered. He then added, as an after-thought, 'lousy air-headed ditz.'

'Hmph!' Tessie replied.

'For a kid of 5, you're DEFINITELY rude,' Sirius said with as little sarcasm as he can but, as usual, failed.

'Sorry,' Neptune said. He paste a grin on his face when he saw Glippers stuffing himself like a pig. 'I got Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for my side!' he announced triumphantly.

'We're tools of war?' Adele said in faint disbelief.

'I believe so, dear,' Cephie said in a worrying tone.

'Where's Ripp? I need to sign the papers with him!' Sirius said in somewhat urgency. 'Excuse me...'

'Daddy, can't we leave these dirty humans?' Tessie said to Neptune.

'No.'

'Adale, can you help me finish my essay on lobalugs?' Remus asked feverishly, remembering his returned Care For Magical Creatures essay, which was a tight slap for him as a Marauder. Adele sent him a nice look which read on something like "Oh? I thought you claimed yourself a genius, Lupin!"

Remus replied with another glare, "Hey, I can happen to do mistakes at some times!"

To which Adele had glared back with, "HAH! A genius never does any mistakes!"

"Why you...!!!"

"BLEH!"

And anger sparks were flying between the two of them. Their eyes, at least. James grinned as he took a step forwards, by means of breaking the electricity of thoughts. Adele shot him a wonderously ugly glare with her violet eyes that seemed to seep up souls.

'Nope, I'm not sorry that I break this spat of yours,' James said very cheerfully, 'but really, Marauders? Fight? Over homework??'

Lily had took it to herself to end it with a cackle of laughter. Remus and Adele sent each other another glare before marching off with silent daggers. Cephie did a "hmph!"

Cephie sigheed, stroking her daughter's hair gently. 'Tessie is really rude.'

'Mummy, I am not!! NOT RUDE!!! I AM NOT RUDE!!!!!!' the girl practically bawled, kicking and plumeting her arms like a madman--er, mad girl.

'So, are you two free? It's Sunday,' Neptune said hopefully to James and Lily. The two stared at the sky, rolled their eyes a bit, shake their heads, stared at the stone floor, shake their heads, turn to some busy-body staring first-years who aren't obviously familiar with the two, maded a scary face and turned to Neptune.

'Yes, and yes?' Lily said quizzically.

Neptune, Cephie and Tessie blinked.

'Yes, we are free.'

'And yes, what do you want us to do?'

'Oh! Um, can you er, babysit Tessie for a while? My wife and I have a meeting to attend,' Neptune said.

'Babysit...?'

'As in, sitting on the baby?'

'Um, maybe he means the other way round, James.'

'Baby sitting on us. Right?'

'No, it doesn't SOUND right...'

'So we get to sit on the baby?'

'No, maybe the baby sits on us.'

'Er!'

'Actually, it's just taking care of Tessie,' Cephie said awkwardly, wondering what on earth these two teenagers are actually up to.

'OH!' they chorused in amazement.

'Well, sure,' Lily said uncertainly. She do NOT like this rude kid, but it'll be just as rude to refuse. Um, right? Right.

'Thank you, dear,' Cephie said, smiling softly. 'Now, Tessie, be good, okay?'

'Yes, mummy,' Tessie said sullenly. Her parents left straight for Dumbledore's office without much worry. At least, Neptune wasn't worrying. He knew Lily and James were a lot to put up for in these sort of responsibilities.

'So. Little miss dragonfire, huh?' James said with regarding boringness. Tessie ignored him superiorly.

'Would you like some muggle sweets?' Lily said, offering some sherbet lemons from her robes pocket and shut James's mouth (he was about to say 'I thought those were mixed with Bertie Botts's Every Flavoured Beans!'). Tessie turned her nose up at it. Lily deeply wanted to cast a mind-control spell on her, but decided against it.

James prised Lily's fingers off. He cleared his throat a little. 'Take one, it's nice!'

Tessie gave them two a deadly glare. Lily and James very nearly sent her a few nice daggers to pin her to the wall.

**

BANG.

'What do you mean I'm an idiot? You're an even bigger one!' Glippers yelled, standing up on his feet. His flippers had disappeared, being too long on land. They'll reappear when he touches the water again.

'If I'm a bigger one, then you're the biggest!' Neptune replied smugly.

'Dear,' Cephie said gently. Dumbledore, too, looked a triffle troubled.

'How'd I get myself into this?' Sirius moaned from his hiding place in the closet. He'd been looking for Rotten Ripp when he heard noises from ... somewhere. He couldn't well place WHERE, because he was quite sure that he had, instead of heading to the lake, directed himself to the kitchens.

Anyway, he was VERY inquisitive. He took refuge in this closet (he hadn't realized that it was Dumbledore's office) and spied.

Now he's stuck with not even the slimmest chance of getting out. Those mermen with spears outside looked like they couldn't be tempted with chocolates...

**

Tessie's shrill laugh rang through the air when Lily dodged the Gobstones' foul liquid. Whoosh! SPLAT! Whoosh! SPLAT! And by the looks of it, the toy isn't near giving up on hitting its target yet.

Lily may be the smartest kid in school (she'd mastered her Potions), but she's never one for general knowledge. Explains also the reason why she's a little cuckoo in her head, as in missing the top half of her deck and all. She's Gobstones' favourite target, to summarize it all.

'Look, James! Lily's such a silly!' Tessie giggled, sitting on James's lap. Lily fumed.

'You very well know that I'm not,' Lily replied hotly, sending a dagger at James, barely missing Tessie.

'She's not. Lily's the'--James gulped, eyeing the dagger--'smartest witch ever. Good in everything BUT general knowledge. Call it a fault of life.' Lily lowered her glare and kicked the Gobstones just to remind it that it's dealing with a genius at the moment. The toy, however, being a toy, ignored her.

Tessie frowned inwardly with disgusting hateness. 'James, can you tell me how you turn those Slytherins into volcah - er, VOLCANOE - of polka dots again? Please? Pweety pweety please?' the little girl said, her voice dripping with sugar and honey and those huge emerald green eyes staring with pure innocence.

'Well...'

'Excuse me? It's my plan,' Lily said in faint annoyance.

'Oh, yes, sure it is,' Tessie said with honey dripping sarcasm. Lily bared her teeth. Truly, this young... BRAT... is boiling her blood.

'Well, it is.'

Tessie let out a bloodcurling scream of shriek, frightening all the innocent ears of the Gryffindors who are sitting peacefully, minding their own business in their common room.

'I say it's James's idea, so it's his!!! I'm a princess so I decide!!' the girl - or brat, whichever you may prefer - yelled. Taken aback by surprise, Lily grumbled an audible 'fine...' in annoyance.

Too bad, Lily couldn't curse that girl for good. Or make her dizzy. Suppose she will look impressive, flying around the Hogwarts castle backwards...? Or maybe bounce upon the pillars in the dungeons like a ping-pong ball, too? But noooo!!!! Neptune might get angry with her! Kids... bah! They're so annoying!

So as James related the tale of how the Slytherins happen to have volcanoes on their notorious white faces and polka dotted skin, Lily amused herself by dodging the non-giving-up Gobstones.

Lily dodged another ball (or perhaps, a wanting-to-be ball?) of glob. It flew on and on and hit Tessie squarely on the face. James laughed. The Gryffindors grinned. Tessie fumed. Lily rolled over with uncontrolable laughter.

'Why, you- you low-classed, useless, STUPID witch! How dare you- you- you--'

'You,' Lily said helpfully.

'You PURPOSELY let that- that- that--'

'That?' James suggested. Tessie seemed pretty raged with a lot of word loss to her memory.

'That THING touch- touch- touch- touch me!' Tessie shrieked in rage.

'It's only a game,' Lily giggled childishly.

'You insolent witch!!! I shall get my father to behead you! Yes, he shall CHOP your head! PAM! And you're history!!!' Tessie yelled furiously. Lily giggled even more at the seemingly comic graphics of Tessie's images on chopping the heads and the sound effects.

'Er,' the Gryffindors gulped. The whole room was silent, save a couple of Lily's giggles that seem to be fading into a sarcastic echo of mad laughter. No one talk of death in Lily's face. Not unless, of course, you happen to know magic of all sorts, which is VERY rare and needs a price of its own, too. Shortly, not unless you're the Marauders of Hogwarts, currently in their sixth year at the moment and living somewhere with evil parents and weird going-ons everyday, which include talking to self in a seemingly empty room.

'Shut up, you stupid witch!' Tessie yelled. She's now jumping up and down and doesn't really look pleased with the echo of Lily's sarcastic laughter. She would resemble a monkey of some sort, if she were to be in a background of flourished trees and so.

The Gryffindors shivered as James slowly crept away quietly.

'Pardon me, but I think my ear has gone wrong,' Lily said very sweetly.

'YOU ARE STUPID, you HAG!'

'So, I'm a hag, aren't I?' Lily whispered. It sounded deadly. Very cold, on the edge of the cliff and nearing afterlife.

'I will get daddy to behead you! CHOP!!! He will! PAM! He will! BOOM! And you'll say goodbye to your pitiful life!' Tessie cried, stomping her feet. Lily's lips curved into a sinister smile.

'I think not, dearie. Lily Evans isn't really that easily killed with a CHOP or a PAM or a BOOM, you know. I'm a good witch, and I know it very well, but thanks for making me reminding you,' Lily whispered, the unearthly aura surrounding her figure. All the Gryffindors rolled their eyes in a manner which read "Miss Ego's back again!" Lily coughed a little and adopted a much cheerful tone, 'Well, for all your know, I might kill you first!'

Tessie snorted. 'You? Kill me?! I'm a princess!' Tessie said, flipping her hair. Her little diamond tiara shone brightly, as if to confirm her statement. Little as it is, it still drew admiring gasps from the girls. 'I'll behead you. Daddy will.'

'Oh, really? I'd like to see you getting near me, then,' Lily said mockingly. James frowned, realizing that Lily's just going to make the girl mad and their stupid babysitting job tough.

'Tinker, Tinker. I KNOW that you'll be finishing her off in just a second, but it's not really NICE, you know,' James said. Lily glared at him, her eyes clearly saying "I've had enough patience, thanks, but I think the tank is kind of empty at the moment. Kindly buzz off to the flowers, Prongsie, before I get to you. AND DON'T CALL ME TINKER!!!"

'Hah!' Tessie smirked at James's comment. 'James is siding with ME!'

'Nope,' Lily said simply.

'Yes.'

'Actually, it's no. Get it? N-O no. Or you haven't learnt your alphabets yet...? Pathetic, really.'

'Hullo!!! Lily, what's with the death glare? You're not looking deadly - you're looking FUNNY!' Adele trilled, skipping into the common room. She noticed Lily's aura. 'Okay, now that's deadly. Er, am I at the wrong place? Or maybe at the wrong time? Perhaps, too, both?'

'Nope! You're at the right place, at the right time, and do you want me to help you check-in on your reservation for tickets?' Lily said cheerfully.

'Tickets will be fine, yes, good. How much?'

'Fourteen knuts?'

'Ten?'

'No, twelve.'

'Okay.'

'What's this conversation for anyway?'

'I don't know.'

'Neither do I,' James said in puzzlement. 'What exactly is happening?'

Lily drew her wand out. 'Well! I'm sure Crucio is a perfectly legal spell, isn't it? That is, of course, unless I get mixed up with the future I see before me.'

A nerdy-looking boy pushed his glasses to th bridge of his nose.'Well, it was first legal, and then, in 1496, it was said as the most dangerous spell, thus, illegalised. Later in year 1780, month of Farthing - or December, in our case - they decide that it isn't really very dangerous after all, so--'

'Gee, thanks Willpoy. I didn't need the history, though.'

'AND,' Willpoy finished, 'it's legal.'

'Good! I'm planning to teach this little brat a lesson,' Lily said sweetly. The Gryffindors grinned a little. Lily waved a casual flick with her wrist. 'Come on, James, Adele, Remus. It's time we find Sirius.'

'Where's Remus?' Adele asked.

'There.' Remus grinned sheepishly as he crawled out of the dusty closet he was hiding in.

'I'm not done with you yet, Lupin!!!!'

'Eat a green pill will you?'

'Green… what?'

'Pill. I decide that you need medication.'

'Quit it!' Lily demanded. She waved her wand again. To Tessie's surprise, she was levitated very suddenly and very roughly flown after four Marauders.

**

'Hello, Neptune! I'm sorry to inform you that your daughter's manners are getting a little too much for me,' Lily said cheerfully, opening the door. She paused for a while, seeing Dumbledore and Cephie sighing in relief by the Marauders's appearance. The merman guards with spears turned to them threateningly. 'Um, what did I interrupt?'

'Nothing, nothing,' Neptune said with a wave. The guards backed. 'Now what is Tessie up to?'

'Threatening death,' Remus said, grinning broadly. 'She's lucky, I tell you!'

'Anyway, Lily was wondering if you'll allow her to bump Tessie a bit,' Adele said.

'She had already did so though, in case you're about to object to that,' James added, staring in amusement at Tessie's bruised head. Lily had purposely bump her to the ceiling, to make her unconscious. Not that she need to, anyway, because Tessie had fainted when she found out that she was floating.

'My poor darling!' Cephie cried, noticing Tessie high above them. Remus was trying his best to revive her with some spells.

'Well, she's not a really nice girl,' Dumbledore said with an etched frown. 'I told you that it was a mistake to adopt her! A half banshee at that, too!'

'Adopt?!'

'Why, yes, I did adopt her. Just married last year,' Neptune grinned.

'Not blood-related, right?' Lily said.

'Nope.'

'Good!!! Never a better news!' Lily cheered, pulling her sleeves up. 'It's time for her death now!'

'No! Don't, please, Lily Evans. I promised the orphanage that I'll take good care of her,' Cephie said. 'For a few years, anyway. A pity she is such a spoiled beauty. Sorry for the inconvenience, dear.' Lily shuddered at the last word.

'I'm not a deer, thanks. But we'll see how well she can behave if you let me poke my wand at her! One crucio or imperio and I'll be furnishingly happy!' Lily said, glaring at the half banshee. Neptune chuckled.

'I'd rather not let you use it,' Dumbledore said with a little twinkle in his skyblue eyes.

'You'll sooner or later conquer the world! Like You-Know-Who, maybe!' Neptune added with a distinct giggle of amusement.

'He's a dark wizard. I'm a white witch!' Lily protested.

Tessie's eyes fluttered open. She blinked into consciousness. 'Daddy!!!!!! Lily tortured me! Execute her, daddy! She hit my head! Kill her daddy, hurry!'

'No, Tessie,' Neptune said firmly.

'I WANT LILY EVANS DEAD!' Tessie yelled. And the little brat opened her mouth to let out a shriek.

'Silence, you insolent, rude creature!' Glippers boomed suddenly. 'You have been nothing but a wailing, foolish child! My own daughters, only three, had much exquisite manners than you do!' He turned to the Marauders, 'Perhaps Miss Evans and Mister Potter here will wish to meet them, yes?'

Tessie's mouth gaped speechlessly at the merchief. 'Me? Rude?! Foolish?! How dare you!!!'

'How dare I!? Yes, I dare very much, you stupid wretch! I should ask my subjects to teach you manners!!!' Glippers yelled.

'Black! What are you doing in my closet? Sleeping, too!' Dumbledore cried in happy amusement when Sirius's body rolled limply onto the floor when the closet door burst open.

'Stupid dog,' Remus muttered, giving his friend a kick as she stepped over to rummage the closet for a boggart. Adele poked at Sirius's eye.

'Hey, get up,' Lily said, rolling Sirius over. 'I can't believe he can take the hard ground so lightly.'

'Daddy, I want ALL their head off!' Tessie yelled.

'You are a disgrace to princess!'

'Bad manners, pah! I'm the princess, so I decide!'

'AVADA KEDAVRA!!!' James yelled suddenly. The room fell silent as everyone looked around to see who was killed. 'Yes, this is much better. Can we keep at this?'

'I want all their heads off!'

'Wake up, Padfoot!'

'My slaves have even better manners!'

'I thought that they were having an argument…'

'SILENCE!!!' James yelled again. 'Honestly, I'm getting a headache! Give me some peace, won't you?'

'Daddy, I want him to be my servant!' Tessie cried, pointing at James. Lily's head felt hot and rumbly.

'Servant?! James isn't for sale!' Adele said in laughter.

'I say so!'

'I think not! You'd better not make me do something that you'll regret, Tessie!' Lily shot.

'BLEH!' Tessie stuck her tongue at Lily. Lily pushed a dungbomb into her wide open mouth. 'MMFPH!!!!!!!'

The stinkbomb exploded and the smell of dung was horrendous. Dumbledore opened the window to air it all out.

Tessie opened her mouth to yell, obviously not giving up because of just one dungbomb.

'Colourisa!' Adele laughed.

Tessie paused to see what had happened to her. Eyes intact, nose still there (Phew! That dungbomb sure smell!), mouth in the right place (yuck, yuck, YUCK!!! Disgusting dung taste!!!!), ears, arms and legs are normal and no additional body parts. Tessie whipped her head to glare at Adele, before noticing that her red hair had turned… BLUE?!

'YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' she shrieked in fright. Everyone stuffed their ears with cotton until she had gotten over her fright.

'Amazing!' Remus applauded, making Tessie angrier.

'SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I want James to be my servant!!!'

'And why, must I ask?' Lily said sweetly.

'I like him and he will be my servant!! He's MINE!' the snotty princess cried. Lily grimaced.

'Cru—'

'Miss Evans, I think you could do with some tea, yes?' Dumbledore suggested, holding a teacup to her. Lily took it gratefully.

'Thanks! Much appreciato!' Lily said cheerfully, fixing a glare at Tessie. She gulped the tea. 'Now, for her royal highness…'

'Er, what's going on in here?' Sirius asked sleepily. He yawned and ruffled his hair.

'Good morning sleeping dunderhead,' Remus greeted, smiling broadly. He had something on his wand's tip. 'Hey Tessie, look here.' Tessie turned to him and let loose a piercing banshee wail when the boggart began shifting itself. It turned into Lily. A very frightening looking Lily, complete with an evil grin and a mischievous glint in her deep green eyes.

'Someone's afraid of Lily!' Adele sang. Lily said nothing, but smile and calmly pushed her robes sleeves up, advancing towards Tessie…

**

'So! The whole argument. What is it about, exactly?' Dumbledore asked cheerfully on everyone has settled down. Glippers and Neptune grinned at each other.

'Well… Nothing!' Neptune chuckled. 'We weren't arguing about anything!'

'The reason of this argument is… Nothing?' James said, eyes widening. The two nodded in agreement.

'We thought that things need some brightening up,' Glippers said.

'What a waste of time,' Adele frowned.

'No. It's charming to get to know Princess Tessie here,' Lily said, smiling sweetly at the body-binded Tessie. The other girl glared.

'I'll teach her her manners soon,' Cephie sighed.

'Oh, your contract, Mr.Black,' Neptune said, pulling out a crumpled and seemingly sat piece of parchment. Sirius took it solemnly (much to everyone's amusement), surveyed it and signed it. He handed it back.

'Deal,' he said solemnly like a dead rock in the business like way. 'The furnitures I'll ship … someday.'

'Fur of the Tures?' Dumbledore said in confusement.

'Furnitures, professor,' Adele repeated.

'Whatever for?'

'It's, er, for our room,' Remus said hastily. 'We're redecorating our room.' Dumbledore nodded.

'And does it need legal papers?' James whispered sarcastically to Remus. Remus jabbed him in the stomach for that smart remark.

'Say, would you like you babysit Tessie again? We can fix a price,' Neptune said hopefully.

'Dear! How could you?' Cephie cried with a horrified face.

'Or maybe my mermaids,' Glippers offered, as Neptune was reasoning with his wife how the Marauders can improve her attitude and such.

'And would you like to risk them getting Imperio?' Lily asked devilishly.

'Thanks, but no thanks,' James said. 'You can bring them in anytime you want though, right, Dumbly-dore?'

'It's Dumbledore, Mister Potter, but I'll overlook it this time.'


	4. Hello, Little Penpie!

I found this right where I last saved the ½ completed chapter of HP&GU chapter two *fumes* it takes nearly AGES! Grr!

Disclaimer: The Marauders (minus Peter Pettigrew, please), Lily, Hagrid, Hogwarts, Hagrid's hut, animagus forms (minus the mythical Dragani too, please), Forbidden Forest and so on blahblahblah belongs to JKR and their respective owners. Grammar/Spelling mistakes are originally mine, and some tenses are MEANT to be there, despite the great English rules. Call it my style. Don't ask me where I get the Adele Varens name, because I assure you it's totally my creation. Honestly. _Cross my heart and hope to die, Cut my throat if I tell a lie._

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Marauding Five : Year Six 

Chapter 4: Hello, Little Penpie! 

  'Yikes! What are you doing, Potter?' was Lily's very first and very annoyed words when she opened her eyelids. She had been awakened rather rudely (but also very invitingly) by James, who had kissed her on the lips.

  'Get up, Tinkerbell,' James whispered. Lily glared at the name.

  'Shut up. I hate that name. Shut up, shut up, shut up!' she grimaced.

  'Just get up,' James said, pasting a very sweet smile on his face. Lily narrowed her eyes and replaced her glare with an even deadlier one.

  'You _do_ know that I can yell out "molester" any moment now,' Lily hissed, tying her red hair up into a messy bun. James grinned broadly.

  'And I _do_ know very well that you won't because you don't feel like it!' he replied cheerfully. Lily glared, despising her fiancé for a blink of short moment. Very short.

  'Why did you wake me in the middle of the night for, genius? I had a dream to envision,' she snarled. Nope, Lily isn't one wise person to wake up from the sleep, either.

  'It's not 12 midnight. And as for your dream, from what I'd heard in your sleep talk, it sounds a lot like a nightmare. What is it about?' James asked, handing her her wand.

  'Well, someone's dying.'

  'Specifically.'

  'Our… parents?' Lily suggested as an afterthought. James blinked.

  'No, you're kidding, aren't you? I mean, those weird hard-to-the-core and no-nonsense-people-but-also-hadn't-much-sense-themselves are DYING??? _REALLY?_' James said, nearly excited. 'Yes!!!!! They're actually dying soon!!!! I was wondering how I was to stand their torture! I mean, _we_'re suppose to torture _them_, not the _other_ way round! Yay!!!!' James gushed excitedly.

  Lily grinned. 'Well don't you wish it! Actually, no, they're not the ones dying. Nope. It's another one, don't worry about it.'

  James's Christmas-like lighted face blighted to near darkness. 'No?? They're NOT dying? Oh sheesh! And I was hoping that I'd be able to have a peaceful life when I turn 50! What is it about, then?'

  Lily bit her lips. She couldn't tell him that it was her seeing them as death eaters, with deadly cold, blank eyes on their pale ghost-like features. 'Nothing of importance to the world. Er… what did you wake me up for again?' she asked uncertainly, pulling out her Invisibility Cloak, noticing that the idiot James had forgotten his. Must've been too engrossed in his stupid newfound magic skills. Bah.

  Well, not that it's a crime… after all, she too was boastful with her when she discovered it.

  'I hadn't told you yet, but I'm telling you all the same. We're going for a walk,' he said politically. Lily blinked.

  'Oh, so I'm awaken to take a WALK. Right, how very thoughtful of you, James! You could bring the dog Sirius with you!'

  'Ssh!!! Don't wake the others up!!'

  'Huh? Then what about Adele?'

  'Ssh!'

  'Okay, okay! Go on to the toilet! No girls are in there anyway. And if you need it so badly, next time just go in! You needn't any permission, you know,' Lily said bluntly.

  'I meant for you to shut up, Evans,' James said.

  'Oh. So that's it,' Lily said stupidly. 'You needn't pretend to want to go toilet.'

  'Get your broom, moron, and we'd better go before we get yelled at!'

  'You mean before _you_ get yelled at.' She grabbed her new broom, a Comet 160. she and James managed to get a new one before they returned to Hogwarts, and both had settled for the same broom again. 'Where's your broom?'

  'Here. We're going to fly around the school—'

  'You said that we were _walking_,' Lily interrupted.

  'Okay, SORT OF walking. We're flying, happy? Yes? Good,' James sighed. Lily was about to open her mouth to say that she hadn't answered yet, but James went on hurriedly, 'Fly around the school grounds. And see some unicorns.'

  Lily pondered for a moment. 'Liar. Unicorns aren't very visible at dark nights, without the moon.'

  'Okay, okay, I'm lying. So what? I'm not getting sent to Azkaban, or St.Mungo's!'

  'I want the truth. Just in case you're going to "kidnap" me again,' Lily said. 'The truth. Truth, truth, truth. Get it? Or would you like me to spell it out to you?'

  'I just want to be with you,' James said, putting on a puppy-dog face. 'Is that too much to ask, sweet, caring, beautiful, lovely Lily?' Lily choked with laughter.

  'Excuse me?' she said incredously.

  'You're excused.' Lily groaned, seeing as he's under THAT condition. The one where every single – and at some times stupid – word is counted literally. Hateful yes, but ticklingly amusing since people like using so much metaphors these days.

  'You know exactly what I'm saying,' Lily glowered.

  James laughed. 'Come on, I know that you're absolutely _dying_ to go flying out with me!' he said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her to her wide-open window. He jumped onto his broom and dragged Lily.

  'Egos should be sinful,' Lily muttered under her breath, clinging onto her broomstick.

  Thank Merlin that Lily had a nice, firm grip on her broom. Else, she'd find herself falling down again for the second time in the time span of two and a half month. And James might get himself into serious trouble, too. With the law, rules and parents. Law for killing (Azkaban, here come Potter!), rules for invading the girls' dormitory (Gryffindor should really say goodbye to the House Cup now) and parents for… well, you know. If you don't, you can think of what your parents would do to "that person" if you were murdered in the dark night. Millions of possibilities and impossibilities.

  'What are you up to tonight?' Lily yawned, slumping over her broomstick.

  'I just thought of a poem for you just now,' James said brightly, 'so I thought I'd recite it to you under the moon.'

  'Yes, very very romantic. Ha ha ha,' Lily said sarcastically before bursting into laughter. 'There's only a little new moon, so hah to your moon and romantical setting.'

  'I'm being serious here!' James frowned. Lily yawned again.

  'Oh, yes. Any other reasons? You want to kiss me under the stars? Or maybe take me to wish upon a shooting star? Design a beautiful sunset in the dark? How sweet!' Lily teased. Obviously, she don't give a care about romantic stuff. James groaned mentally. And girls at this age are likely romantical. HAH. Who's the genius that said it?? He really should meet Lily Rose Evans.

  'Actually, I _did_ thought of it.'

  Lily's lips turned into a straight line, nearing a frown.

  'Are you having a fever?? Waking me up in the middle of the night—'

  'It's NOT midnight.'

  '—And walk—'

  'We are _flying_, unless you'd forgotten.'

 '—and a poetry and all romantical yucky stuffs. YUCK!!!' Lily said making a face and stuck her tongue out. 'Anything else that I should know before I kill myself with laughter?'

  'Yeah, I'm planning to propose to you,' James grinned. Lily pulled an even nastier (in her opinion anyway. It's actually pretty cute) face.

  'Whoever who dared propose to me will have to be poisoned,' Lily quoted her second year quote when brought to the subject of proposal of marriage.

  'I'd love to see that,' James said approvingly. 'But unfortunately, we are betrothed by out ingenious parents – engaged, if you would like it – and by the time we graduate, we'll be husband and wife before we could even blink a hello to freedom. What a nice joke!'

  'Be glad it isn't earlier,' Lily mumbled.

  'Your poisoning thing, too. I saw a loophole in it,' James grinned broadly. 'A very nice loophole. Obviously, you knew what you were talking about when you said it!'

  'Oh. Good. How nice,' she remarked shortly, nodding her head sleepily.

  'Hey, don't sleep! The poem's not read yet!'

  'Well, hurry up and read away, then. I'm tired.'

  James cleared his throat professionally. 'Okay, this is it,

Minky ponkie icky yucky

You're my one and only beauty

Sickle pankle mangle toggle

You're a really sweet girl.'

  Lily rolled her eyes. 'That is soooo romantic, James. So romantic and so erm, corny (whatever that means anyway), that I even forgot to blush, haha,' Lily said with distinct sarcasm in her tone. James looked hurt. Lily added hurriedly, 'it's nice although it isn't, er, _very_ romantic.'

  'Yes, I know I'm not a very good poet. Thanks a lot for reminding me that. Crush my ego, would you?'

  'Anytime,' Lily said, smiling sweetly. 'And now. What about my kiss? Am I supposed to wait until you escort me to my dorm again? I'm very sleepy you know. My turn to patrol tomorrow.'

  'I'll decide when you get that kiss, now that you'd made me mad,' James said with fake hurt all around him.

  'I am so hurt—NOT!!!' Lily laughed. 'Sour James! Here, let's explore the forest whilst it's still autumn!'

  James's lips couldn't help but tug a smile. 'And what about our brooms? Unless you're meaning to fly _into_ the trees, which isn't really my plan to get knocked cold…'

  'Transform,' Lily said to James.

  'Huh?'

  'Transform! Turn into an animagus, silly!' Lily said. With a soft pop, James turned into Prongs. He turned his large brown eyes questioningly at Lily. Lily grinned before collecting their brooms and placed them on his antlers.

  James gave her a glare.

  'Bear with it. That's what it's for anyway,' Lily said cheerfully, climbing onto James's furry back. James began muttering (though only Lily can understand it, of course, after a long and very complicating process that takes some time to explain) under his breath.

  "Why aren't _you_ transforming?" James grumbled.

  'Because, idiot, I'll be attracting Redcaps,' Lily said severely. 'You don't want your… GIRLFRIEND, to get captured in her animagus form, do you now?'

  "Sounds like a stupid reason, but no."

  'There you go! Get on now,' Lily said, smiling sweetly.

  "I can't believe I'm doing this…"James muttered, galloping into the forest. Lily clung onto his neck gently, so as she don't suffocate him from lack of air.

  Still, there are the bounces and hops and hurls all over. Finally, after a long hesitation, Lily turned herself into a Dragani.

  "Hah! I thought you were afraid of Redcaps!" James sniggered, halting for a while.

  "Shut up. I can fly. Have you any idea where we're going in the first place?"

  "Er… no."

  Lily frowned. Or at least, tried to frown. "Erm, then I guess we'll just have to go randomly."

  James gave her a very stag-like snort before galloping on again. The black silhouettes of gloomy trees bent over them in a sort of parting way. Lily wrapped her snaky body around James's neck, so that she wouldn't fall off and lose herself in the middle of the dark forest. James – er, Prongs, whatever – hastened his pace.

  "Stop!!!' Lily's tinkly voice commanded suddenly. James didn't hear her. If he did, then he's doing a marvellous job at ignoring her. "James _Prongs_ Edward Potter, STOP!" Lily shrieked again. The great stag skidded to a halt joltingly, sending clouds of dust under his hooves.

  "Huh? What? What happened?"

  "The brooms! You went too fast," Lily said reasonably, levitating the two fallen broomsticks with her powers. She dropped them onto James's prongs again with a clatter. James winced.

  "Can't you be a little more gentler?"

  "Well, it's pretty hard to control in this form…"

  "One would've thought that you could already."

  "I can't help it!"

  James stiffened suddenly, and straightened himself to his full height to sniff and hear. His ears twitched a little.

  "What is it?" Lily asked curiously.

  "Ssh! There's something – or someone – near us," James hushed. "I think we'd better turn back. Doesn't feel like a unicorn or a centaur." Tinkerbell shuddered involuntarily, suddenly feeling the presence of a third being. James was right: its aura is nothing like a unicorn or a centaur's.

  "Um, maybe we should –gulp– turn back," Lily said weakly.

  "I suggest you carry the broomsticks, then," James said happily; glad to rid of that burden that kept on clattering and jumping on his antlers. Annoying things. Without a sound, Lily took them from him. "Now. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  James galloped off at full speed and Lily flew after him with the broomsticks behind her. The thing seemed to run after them, very quite matching their speed, James noted. He hastened. So did Lily.

  The two creatures never rested until they reached the clearing, where the magnificent Hogwarts castle tower grandly before them. Hagrid's tiny hut stood solemnly on their left, a few chugging little smokes puffing from its chimney and the Dark Lake of Hogwarts grounds glistened like a black crystal. All around them were crackling, dry brown leaves of trees that had shed them for the colder season. The Forbidden Forest was a distance from their backs.

  With a faint pop, the dragani and stag were Lily and James, gasping and breathing heavily. The broomsticks fell next to them, as if tired from the journey.

  'What was that?' Lily gulped.

  'Don't want to know,' James panted. 'It sure was scary, though.'

  'The next time we enter,' Lily puffed, 'we're better have Adele, Sirius and Remus the Werewolf with us. I'm **not** going to risk getting killed myself!'

  James just nodded in reply.

  The two teenagers sat amongst the dry leaves, panting and gasping for some time. Just then, a tiny, barely seen snowflake fell on James's black hair. Lily grinned broadly.

  'Yay! It's snowing!' she exclaimed.

  'It is?' James blinked.

  'Yep! There's a snowflake on your hair! It's snowing, it's snowing!'

  'It might be a dead, forsaken Flobberworm.'

  'But it—'

  'Flobberworms fall out of trees,' James said reasonably. 'Or caterpillars.' Lily opened her mouth to debate that Flobberworms do NOT _know_ how to climb trees and caterpillars certainly aren't greyish-white in colour, let alone fall out of nowhere because no trees are around at the moment when James claimed her lips with his suddenly. Lily blinked blankly.

  'That, Lily, is your kiss,' James grinned teasingly at her.

**

  'It's been _ages_ since we'd last visited Hagrid! I vote we see how he's doing now,' Sirius said next morning, after Owl Post and breakfast.

  'You've got to be kidding! I haven't finished this stupid Transfiguration essay yet!' Adele whined, her white hand flipping the pages of the thick Transfiguration textbook feverishly.

  'But he _invited_ us! Sent an owl,' Sirius protested, waving a crumpled parchment in front of his friends. 'At four o' clock this evening.'

  'It's two now,' Remus said reasonably, after a glance at the clock.

  'Sirius is number blind,' James grinned.

  'He's stupid, and that just proves it,' Adele said, scrawling over her parchment.

  Lily didn't speak her thoughts in this. She just rolled over in her bed (they're back at the Marauder's Hideout) and pulled her covers over her head. Remus stared.

  'Lily, do you want to run out of oxygen? Surely you don't plan on suffocating yet,' Remus said.

  'Let me ask her,' Sirius said cheekily, folding his sleeves up. He marched across the room to Lily's bed and yelled loudly in her ear (or what he thought was her ear). '**_LILY EVANS, DO YOU PLAN TO DIE WITHOUT US OR DO YOU JUST INTEND ON TASTING NEAR-DEATH SITUATIONS????_**'

  Lily jumped up from her bed. Very literally. Perhaps a little too literally. Lily very nearly hit her head on the ceiling.

  Sirius beamed broadly. Lily clutched her covers tightly, staring at the air blankly as to register from her shock. She blinked and glared at Sirius after a while.

  'What was that for, Sirius Black?' Lily yelled, jumping out of her bed angrily. Sirius just grinned like a Cheshire cat.

  'You look really funny when you jump!' was his cackling reply. Lily smiled wanly.

  'Oh yes, I do look funny. I wonder how funny you will look when I dunk you like a basketball into the lake,' Lily said casually. Sirius just kept on laughing and laughing. He resembled a cackling hyena.

  Lily, obviously not too pleased about getting laughed at like this, immediately opened the window. She levitated Sirius with a strong "wingardium leviosa", turned him into a ball-sized shape and threw him out of the window with all her Psychic strength (because physical alone isn't enough).

  James whistled in effect as Sirius sailed through the air from the fourth floor secret room and landed neatly on the Dark Lake with a resounding, loud splash. Remus burst out laughing and Adele looked up from her work to giggle. James rolled over with gales of aches and laughter, and Lily… well, she had a self-righteous smirk on her face.

  'You look stupendously funny, Sirius!!! Would you care to display it all over again?' Lily called out to Sirius, who was floating in the middle, his face very red (the ball shape if off already).

  Although he couldn't hear her, he guessed what she said before yelling and screaming threats at her. Lily calmly ignored him and, smiling sweetly, she fastened the window to the lock.

  'Don't you think he look like a drenched puppy?' she laughed. 'Except, of course, he's not a cute puppy or a poor pup! He's a failed dog!' Lily said mercilessly.

**

  'Yeh have forgotten me, ha'n't ye?' Hagrid said, beaming at the Marauders as he ushered the five of them in. 'Bin a long time since ye gang of rascals had last seen me!'

  'Down Fang, _down_!!!!' Lily said, desperately trying to push the big bloodhound from hugging and licking her. Lily hate dogs. At least, those big and scary looking ones.

  'I didn't know that you own plushies,' Sirius said curiously, poking at a penguin-look-a-like toy on its tummy. It was soft and furry. Not to mention rubbery, too.

  The toy's beak opened in a sort of snarl before biting Sirius's finger sharply. It's black-blue blazed with a menacing glare at him before flipping its fins on Sirius's face. Sirius was too aghast with wonder that he could hardly realize that this- this _thing_ was slapping him!  If he had the notion to keep his head, he would have kicked it off already.

  'Ulp!?' Remus said in shock.

  'That's not a toy, is it, Hagrid?' Adele gulped, pointing at the supposed toy that is slapping Sirius's ballooning red cheeks.

  'UGH!!!' Sirius cried, pulling the toy from him hurriedly. He was about to send it flying with a super-duper-hyper-mega kick when James plucked it out of his hands and set the toy onto the floor. 'HEY!'

  'What's this?' James said curiously. 'Hello, are you a being or a toy?'

  The thing (toy, being, whatever) growled at James in reply, followed by a string of high-pitched squeaks and squeals. The Marauders were dearly reminded of little professor Flitwick back at the castle.

  'Tha's a Penpie,' Hagrid said proudly, seeing their mild-questioning features. 'Ah found 'im at the edge of the forest las' nigh'. Heard sum noises out 'ere. Found 'im lookin' fer sumthing… kinda tired, too, so I gave 'im a place here.'

  'A Penpie? What in Merlin's name is that?' Adele cried, racking her heads like an electronic book. 'It isn't a magical creature at all!'

  'Nay, it ain't,' Hagrid agreed. 'Penpie is an_ insect_!'

  Lily studied the insect (or so Hagrid had claimed) from afar. It looked like a penguin – black, white, flappy fins, small penguin sized and a beak. Its eyes are big and brown, and its little feet are orange. It looked like a penguin in nearly every aspect, save a few differences.

  For one, it has teeth. Sharp ones, like fangs. Lily had never seen a real penguin before, but she was pretty much sure that they don't have a set of fangs. For another, which is noted for its far obvious reasons, its tail isn't short and stumpy. It's long – twice the size of its miniature body – and it has a little arrow-shaped thing at the end, those that resemble cartoon drawings of evil devils in the Underworld.

  Well, so much for observing the insect. The Penpie is now advancing towards Lily.

  'Um, why is it called Penpie?' Remus asked.

  'Ah, it looked like a Penguin!' Hagrid beamed, as if it were common knowledge. Quite true.

  'The pie? Where did THAT come from?' Adele questioned curiously.

  'Yeh'll see… if he likes ye.'

  'I tell you… don't come near me… I don't want to blast you through the roof…' Lily said cautiously, backing from the nearing insect.

  'Is he your pet?' James asked.

  'Aye! Th'name's Cutie,' Hagrid said proudly.

  'He's cute…' Adele said in approval.

  As for Lily, she had met upon the dead end. Not a normal wall-dead end, where you can at least still move sideways (or forwards-backwards, depending on WHICH wall you're against). It's at the _corner_. The worst place one can face when threatened, unless smart enough to run off in the nick of time. The girl gulped as a flash of thought clicked into her mind. Is this the thing that had forced James and her to rush out of the Forbidden Forest? The presence and aura felt dreadfully similar, now that she's in the position to fear and let her senses piece it.

  Penpie trotted closer… and closer… and closer…

  Lily braced herself for a shriek and whatever that may happen next, which _MIGHT_ involve hurling Cutie the Penpie a blast past the hut's walls or roof.

  Penpie hugged her. Cutie only reached up to Lily's knees.

  '??'

  'Like yeh,' Hagrid nodded cheerfully. 'Yeh've got a talent with 'em beings, Lily!'

  'Everything like her,' Sirius sulked. 'It's almost unfair!'

  'The world _is_ unfair.'

  'I thought that the world is a world, but I think I get your less literal meaning in it.'

  'Penpie!!!' Cutie called in an adorable manner, pressing its chubby cheeks to Lily's legs. It stared at Lily out of its large brown eyes. 'Piee!?'

  'Um, yes… er,' Lily said uncertainly. Cutie's tail wagged in a little dance and Poof! A cheery pie appeared!

  'Wicked!' James exclaimed in amazement. Cutie turned to him and studied him for a little while. It beamed broadly. Ah! Another one of yesterday's runaway! 'Er, hi?' James suggested.

  'Pieee!' the Penpie called again. An apple pie poofed into existence. The Marauders all stared in awed wonder.

  'That's what makes 'em rare,' Hagrid said. 'Them Penpies make pies outta nowhere! Rare insects, 'em. When they like yeh, they'll give yeh their favourite pies. If they don't, yeh'd jus' have ter run away. 'em Penpies have flashing teeth.'

  'Now I see the reason why he liked it,' Sirius muttered. 'It bites and it makes pie appear out of nowhere. I wouldn't be surprised if you tell me that this thing is a protected species!'

  'Well, neither me,' Adele said. 'Cutie's cute, though!'

  'Not. He bit me!!!!'

  'You poked him,' Remus reminded.

  'I thought he was a toy!'

  'Your fault then,' James said, munching his pie.

  'HEY!!!!!'

  Sirius groaned. His friends are all against him. Couldn't they _see_ – okay, they did see this monster, fine, but they sort of ignore it – the set of teeth (Oh, Sirius reasoned, they DID see it… Stupid me) it had??? Also, when does an insect look like a penguin from the North Pole??? When, in the history of Science, is _ever_ such insects discovered? Insects have three pairs of legs, glassy, multi-eyes…

  Oh wait, this is the magical world. No science theory accepted.

  Oh well. All creatures and insects hate him anyway, so no big deal there. They hate him and love Lily and James.

  AAAAH!!!! HOW UNFAIR CAN IT GET!?!?!?!?!?!?

  'You can scream if you want to,' Lily said suddenly. 

  Atta it. Lily reads minds. Sheesh. And I thought I had a barrier up!

  'If you have a problem, Sirius, you can always yell it out, than think it quietly,' Lily chirruped, biting into her pie again.

  'Time to train,' Sirius groaned in a muffled voice.

  'Exactly!' James cheered. 'You shout loud, though.'

  'Shout?' Hagrid echoed. 'Anyway. I was wunderin' if any of yeh can track where it's from. Cutie's only a baby, t'know.'

  'East of forest, about thirty kilometres deep,' James mumbled, accidentally spraying his crumbs all over. 'Ran all the way here. Hard to believe it, actually.'

  'How'd ye know?' Hagrid said with awe, as if James could tell the future and all, which of course, he can with a whole dozen or two of errors along the way. James fidgeted a little. This is a place where he can easily let himself get on suspension for staying OUT of the castle at night.

  'Well… uh… um… don't you want to find its mother?'

  'Ah, yes, right,' Hagrid said, picking Cutie up gently. 'Yeh'd be goin' home, Cutie. Ah'm gonna miss ye.' Hagrid blew his nose into a big polka-dotted red hankie. It looked like a blanket for a baby to the Marauders.

  'Can we, uh, leave?' Sirius said, eager to run out before that grosteque insect decide to nibble him for its tea.

  'Yeah, thanks,' Hagrid said, smiling. He turned back to Cutie and said in a lecturing manner, 'Yeh'd better visit me 'ere, too, Cutie!'

  'Penpieeee!' Cutie called when Lily and James walked out of the door, waving it for fond goodbye.

**

  'Cutie's so cute!' Adele sighed wistfully.

  'What?' Tally Chapman said. 'Cutie? Who – or WHAT – is that?'

  'None of your business.'

  Tally gritted and continued punching her pillow.

  'And why are you punching your pillow?' Punch. Punch. Kick. Toss.

  'Dan's hot for a fifth year Ravenclaw now,' Tally announced with a huff. 'Honestly, what haven't I got that he wants??'

  'Air-headed ditz not?' Lily suggested cheekily. 'I mean, you're an air-headed ditz that he does **not** want.'

  'Very funny. Why love me at all, then?'

  'You're the idiot, moron,' Adele sighed. 'I suggest you run that Ravenclaw under a Horntail, just to anger Dan.'

  'If you _have_ a Horntail,' Lily added.

  'Daniel Trevor hasn't seen the last of me yet!' Tally growled ferociously. 'Or my name isn't Tally Evelyn Chapman!!!'

  'No, your name is Mickey Mouse,' Lily giggled, 'NOT Tally Evelyn Chapman.'

  'Or my name isn't Mickey Mouse…—Hey!' Tally yelled, realizing what she had just said. The two girls rolled over with laughter as Tally fumed at them.

  'M- Mickey… hahahahaha!' Adele roared.

  'You're that duck, then!' Tally said hotly, pointing a finger at Adele accusingly. 'Diaper Duck!!!' Lily's cheeks were streaming with tears by now.

  'D- Diaper Duck!' Lily choked before laughing helplessly, rolled off her bed, and dropped onto the floor with a big boom.

____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: I… HATE… THESE… LABYRINTHED… FOLDERS…!!!!!!!!!! Yech, why did I even try that stupid labyrinth style in the first place??? I must be psycho! *pauses* oh yeah, my brother. Sure, he's such a joyful creature, rummaging all my Harry Potter and LotR midis and all. I blame this all on him.


	5. The Joy Of Holidays

Stashed in my web folder. Still angry over all the trouble.

Disclaimer: You now know the drill VERY well. Don't feel the need to repeat it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Marauding Five : Year Six 

Chapter 5: The Joy Of Holidays 

  'Haha! Take that!!!' Tally yelled ferociously. 'Tarantellegra!!!'

  All heads swept towards the Gryffindors table, now dubbed as the trouble-making table or house, depending on the situation. Hundred and more pairs of eyes followed the beam that shot from Tally Chapman's willow wand which advanced towards another Gryfffindor of the same year, Dan Trevor.

  Everything happened in slow motion (or so it had seemed). The beam of curse travelled across the table like a slow tortoise. Bit by bit, it inched towards the blue haired boy (Dan dyed it blue—again).

  After what seems like eternity, the dancing curse hit. Lily groaned.

  'YES!!!' Tally cried, hopping like an ecstatic hen.

  '_No!!! You hit the chicken, bimbo!!! The __chicken! The __roasted chicken!!!' James yelled angrily from his place, annoyed that his food was hitten by a curse._

  True enough, the brown, untouched roasted chicken stood in a rather wobbly way on its drumstick-legs as it pulled itself up from the plate, shaking the exquisite salad dressings off its breast.

  'Oh, no!'

  'There goes our lunch!'

  'MAIN dish, too!'

  'CHAPMAN!!!' Millie-Dint yelled.

  'Sorry!! I meant it for Trevor, really,' Tally said humbly.

  'You're on last name terms now?' Adele said in amazement to Dan. He shook his head.

  'No, it's she who's on the last name terms,' Dan said dolefully. 'I wonder what mad her mad at me… I didn't do anything!'

  Adele coughed. 'Oh yeah, I'm sure your "anything" hasn't covered the areas of cheating on her. Being a two-timer isn't really a nice crime to commit, you know. I mean, I think Tally would rather you dump her than do _that on her. Makes her feel stupid. See what I mean? By the look on your face, I think not.'_

  'Me? A two-timer??? But I broke up with her!' Dan protested. He paused. 'Oh no. Was that a month ago or two?'

  'It'll be Christmas holidays soon, so make up your mind,' Remus said. 'That's of course, in case you lose your mind on the dates and all. Hopeless, then.'

  'Oh… I think I kinda got back on with her… Eeps.'

  'See? There, problem solved!' Sirius said cheerfully. He drew out his wand. 'Finite incantatem!'

  The chicken dropped onto the floor (it was breakdancing on it), perfectly lifeless. The Gryffindors stared at the now still corpse of the once dancing fowl with a look of disgust clearly printed upon their wincing features. Some look quite read to throw up.

  'I… lost me appetite for chicken today, folks,' Remus announced feverishly. The image of the headless chicken tangoing with its silver dish plate and twirling itself on the floor had drowned every single drop of fluid juice in him.

_Grrrrrr…!_

  Okay, not all, but those that were eager to devour the fat bird.

  'Chapman, detention for using magic during lunch, ruining our food, attempt to curse and making us lose our appetite,' Millie-Dint said flatly, her stomach feeling oddly full suddenly after Remus's announcement over lost of appetite.

  Tally glared across the table at Dan.

**

  'Do you think we'll be allowed to go home this Christmas?' Adele asked, fiddling with a lock of her hair. She stuck it into her mouth absent-mindedly and sucked at it thoughtfully.

  'Our house is furnished!' Sirius announced happily. He had gotten the mansion without much trouble ('Bless be the wizards and traditions of China!'), furnished ('Those dingy people at the store didn't believe me until I brought that sackful of galleons!') and had even plastered it with considerably fashionable wallpaper. Needless to say, Sirius was awfully proud of his job.

 'That's a just-in-case, remember?' Remus said. 'Besides, and father and mother know nothing about it.'

  'Heey!!!! Guess what!!!' James yelled happily, barging into the common room. His friends looked up.

  'What?'

  'I said, guess!'

  'Er, what?'

  'GUESS!!!!!'

  'Look, I really don't need any gas of any sort now,' Sirius said, wagging his index finger at his friend. 'We don't have the use of laughing gas at the moment, though it might be cool to laugh over some weird purplish pink dinosaur of our imagination. I don't think we want a gas to cry, either.'

  'Look, we're _going home for Christmas_!!!' James said, with obvious glowing stars in his eyes. Or it could be because of the effect of "touching tears" that might happen at moments when the scene gets too touchy or sensitive, or whatever it is that cause the tears.

  'Are you crying?' Adele asked bluntly.

  'Of course not!! But we're going home for Christmas!!!!' James gushed.

  'You mean you were _grounded_?? In school???' a first year said with wide amazement.

  'NO!' the four Marauders said at once and, decided that this first year is particularly annoying by his own traits, threw Dungbombs at him.

  'But we painted Mrs Norris blue, turned Minnie into an elephant (by accident, of course, but we innocents still get the dratted detention), upset two weeks of Owl Post and we even painted the Slytherin's common room pink!' Remus gaped. '_So **how** did we get an invitation to go home????_'

  'Ssh!' James hissed at him. 'Look, I bribed all the school owls, get it? They – our parents – never receive a single news of any of our detentions AT ALL.'

  The other three blinked blankly. 'How?'

  'I have to give them the best owl food,' James said with a boring shrug. 'We'll be going back though, that's what matters.'

  'Out mansion up on the hills… Godric's Hollow…'

  'Shut up, Sirius. That's for _emergency_, remember?' Remus said, stressing the italics a lot.

  'He has a hole in his brain,' Adele said. 'Or was it his head?'

  'Brain,' James said. 'Say, where's Lily?' He looked around for signs of his partner in crimes.

  'Don't know,' Adele shrugged. 'I thought she was with you. She said something about—'

  Adele was rudely interrupted by a large, resounding BOOM from outside the common room. The Fat Lady's shrieks and cries were heard, following be a string of gleefully pealing laughter of amazement.

  'Well. There's your answer,' Remus said, his eyes staring at the portrait hole in curious amazement.

  Lily didn't disappoint him. She burst  into the common room, the Fat Lady yelling after her angrily. Lily laughed, did some cartwheels to amuse the juniors and, spying her friends at the corner, raced to them at a breakneck speed.

  'What did you do?' Sirius asked, staring at the portrait hole still.

  'Oh, I was walking around, playing army'—the Marauders now notice that Lily is dressed in a smart green uniform—'with a bubblegum-gun. It so happened that when I was patrolling around the Gryffindor tower that the Fat Lady decided to scare me by yelling "YAH!" to see how I would react to it. Of course, I turned with a good lieutenant's instinct and BOOM! The bubblegum's now on her face!' Lily ended with a grin. She patted a huge green gun fastened to her waist. 'Too bad I brought only one fun. Could've messied her hair, too, but I guess it'll be some before she could recover from her damage at the moment. The gun stuck like a leech to her dress and face.'

  'We're going home for Christmas, Lily,' Remus said.

  'And if we're lucky, we might be sent back as soon as possible by Minnie. She's getting fed up with us,' Adele added.

  'Cool,' was Lily's only reply.

  'SOMEONE GET THIS OFF ME!!!' Fat Lady's voice shrieked. 'THAT INSOLENT WRENCH!!! SOMEONE GET THIS GUM OFF ME!!!!!!'

  'That was funny,' Lily said, laughing again as she listen to the painting's cries. 'She'll fly off, usually, but maybe she's too gummed to the frame to see that.'

  'Lily, we're going home for Christmas,' James said.

  'Yes, I know. But what really is the point?'

  'If you don't stop doing this, we'll all end up getting kicked out of house,' Adele said.

  'Well that's okay. The mansion's up, isn't it?'

  'With ONLY our school robes and daily Hogwarts uses? I think not!'

  'Oh. Good point.'

**

  'I'm so pleased to see you!! Darling Lily, did you date anyone?' Rose Evans said when Lily got off the bus she took from Kid's Cross Station. Lily winced. To be greeted with that sort of question when you meet your mother for Christmas holidays… no, not a pleasant thing at all. _Especially _in your garden, **next** to Sirius Black's house. In fact, it's rather stupid.

  'No, don't worry. Not a single soul,' Lily said. 'Nope!' Rose's lit up face (cause: the first sentence) dropped into a deep frown of pout (cause: Lily's last two sentences).

  'What?? What about James? Young lady, sure you both hadn't went on a date _yet_?!'

  'Nope!' Lily echoed herself cheerfully. 'It doesn't really matter, does it?' She stared adorably (or so she decides it is) in pure sweet innocence, knowing very well that I does matter—to her mum, anyway. Not _her_.

  '… Well,' Rose said slowly. 'I guess there's always a first time to things. This Christmas, I'll make sure you date him. Or at least, get even a kiss.' She stiffened up, glaring at Lily menacingly with arched eyebrows and deep green eyes very like her daughter's. 'Have you received your first kiss, Lily? Because if you have… you KNOW what I'll do.'

  'Um, no.' Which is, plain as anyone of the Marauders can tell, is a very bad lie. Lily had had her first kiss with no other but the moronic James Potter. Rose know it. She _knew_ it, because she had _been_ on the spot.

  Still, the middle-aged lady fell for it.

  'Good!! How's studies, dear? Doing well?' she asked happily. Lily rolled her eyes.

  'I'm a genius, you forgot. I happen to do well at everything I try my hands at. I'm a genius, remember?'

  Rose growled. 'If you are, I'll laugh at the very fact of it! Geniuses do NOT play pranks, receive detentions, beratings and—' 

  'Who said that genius couldn't have fun?' Lily retorted.

  'No genius is the right mind—' Lily snapped her fingers.

  'Aha! That's just it! I'm NOT in my right mind! There you go! Problem solved!'

  'So I have this mental ward who claimed to be a genius, huh? How am I to believe you???'

  'There's always James, Remus, Adele and Sirius!' 

  'Speaking of James…' Lily felt her temper flaring a little.

  'MUM!!!!! Will you _please_ – please, please, PLEASE – drop that nonsense now?' Lily yelled. 'Why must you keep going to him? There's nothing this universe can't handle! I'm a big part of the universe, aye, that I know, but I don't want to be mixed with the small part. Get it? The small part is GETTING MARRIED. I'm happy being at the big part, thank you very much, and I can very well handle my own life!'

  'Lily! I miss you so much!' Gram cried, hugging Lily tightly. Lily struggled a little in embarrassment.

  'Oh good, Gram, I'm so glad to see you. Tell mum not to bug me about James. She hasn't the rights to, just because she's my mother!' Lily said, glaring sourly in her mother's direction.

  'Now, Rose…'

  'It's time Lily began reacting to boys,' Rose interrupted. 'She's almost seventeen – next year, I mean – and she HAS to have a boyfriend! And it so happened that Will and the Potter have agreed on this, so it is **fixed**.'

  'You don't control MY life!' Lily shrieked.

  'And you don't talk to ME in that way!!' Rose yelled.

  Gram sighed, turning to her beloved Lily. 'Do you have a sweetheart, dear?'

  'Huh, you wish!' Lily said hotly.

  'And THAT is exactly what the problem is!' Rose said triumphantly.

  'But Sirius and Remus and Adele—'

  'That's not my concern. James and you, Lily darling, is a must. Universe police calls.' Lily gagged horrendously.

  'So I'm doing what? Being a universe police by marrying James?!'

  'No, that's not it. It's that it's a policy law.'

  'Oh, yeah right. Well show it to me!' Lily retorted. 'No excuse for it not being WRITTEN! Don't show me that stupid good-for-nothing Divination crystal ball! And NEVER tell me that it's meant to be!!! SHOW ME!' Lily demanded loudly, flames of fire burning in her eyes with thirsty anger. Rose shuddered a little.

  'Don't you dare argue with me. Just do as I say.' Lily cast her mother a resentful look of loathe that she usually reserve for Snape when he turns nasty.

  'I'm not in you stupid plans, mother. I can easily call that engagement off. And you can do NOTHING to stop me from doing things my way. Remember, I am not a helpless little teenage girl,' Lily whispered with great depths of indescribable passion. With that, she levitated her trunks with her Psychic powers and marched upstairs, head held up in dignity and pride.

  Rose stared, quite crumbled.

**

  The snow blanketed the grounds of Loopy Village in its silvery coat of pretty delicateness. The village lake had froze into a thin layer of ice, the forest trees were bare from leaves and naked, having shedded during autumn. The thin layer of snow covered perfectly everything and made a lovely picturesque sight for one who loves to paint scenery, what with the little English cottages the village is full of.

  'James?' Sirius said, turning the knob. James was sitting at the table, looking incredibly bored at the gentle picture outside his library window. He picked his head up from its nest in his arms and grinned at Sirius broadly.

  'Hey! How's things over at your place?' James asked gaily.

  'Fine. In case you're interested in knowing, Lily's mother was lecturing Lily again. You're getting famous, Prongs!' Sirius said, grinned cheekily at his friend as her plopped into the other chair.

  'What about him getting famous?' Remus asked, popping up from behind a bookshelf.

  'Oh the usual, of course,' Sirius replied easily. 'You know: "Did you date anyone, Lily?", "How's James getting on?", "This is universe policy that you and James are wed, like it or not!" and "Universal police calls such actions,"' Sirius said in a high-pitched tone of voice, mocking Rose Evans.

  James groaned. 'Don't even remind my parents that…'

  'I pity Li,' Remus said solemnly. 'I mean, to be pressured with the burden of marriage at this age is evil. Not even a chance to date or to even settle into social life. Poor girl.'

  'Oh, why not pity me as well? I need sympathy too. After all, I'm with her!' James said sarcastically. 'Look, we have to face it, whether we like it or not. I'm planning to run away from home if it gets to a stage I can't tolerate!'

  'So what are we going to do? Read??' Sirius said, pointing at the books with a look of total disbelief.

  'Nope. It's time the village should meet the Marauders again,' James said with an evil glint in his eyes.

**

  'Alright, so here's our plan,' Lily said. James cleared his throat in interruption. Lily ignored him with a simple wave. 'James, if you feel like croaking, get some water. If it is inevitable, well, I suggest you try glueing your mouth to some strong super-glue or something. Maybe the voicebox. Yes. We don't really need any more snow at the moment, kay James? Good. As I was saying…'

  'AHEM,' James said loudly. 'Hello! Yoohoo!! I happen to be the leader here.' Again Lily ignored him with a sentence.

  'You are excused to throw up, just don't do it in front of us,' the girl said, absorbed in her job.' Now…'

  'Lily Evans, may I ask who in the name of pranks is the LEADER of this group?' James demanded sharply.

  'Er, me…? Right?'

  'WRONG!!! It is I—the great, the wonderful, the brainwave, the mighty—'

  'Do you mind skipping the adjectives?' Adele said irritably. One thing with the Marauders: when it comes to praising yourself, a lot of adjectives are used. Signs of a healthy, over-larged and much over-dosed ego.

  '—James Edward Potter!!!!' James yelled, totally oblivious to Adele's comments. 'So give me that list of things to do!' Lily snorted a little before handing the to-do list to him with a mocking 'Yes, your great majesty.'

  James fumed, but decided to deal with her later. He can decide her penalty later. Or maybe he'll place a bewitchment on her to listen to her parents. Oh no, that will mean instant disaster.

  'Alright, Adele can do the North part of the village. Paint the walls with invisible paint. I hereby elect Lily Rose Evans as the secretary'—Lily scowled darkly—'and she'll be distributing stuff as gloves, paint, brush, blah… you get the idea, Lily.

  'Sirius will take the South of the village. Turn all the houses into baking shops, get me? Er, not really SHOPS, but make them look like the house out of the Hansel and Gretel story. Throw in lollies in replacement of trees.

  'Remus, you take East. Change the gardens – er, snow – into beehives. Make the hives unnoticed, maybe with an Illusion charm, so that the unsuspecting passerbys will be pleasantly surprised when they decide to play a little snow.

  'Lily, you're assigned the west,' James said.

  'But I don't want to e a secretary! Is there a way to promote to vice president?' Lily asked, placing a little pout on her face.

  'Nope. Live with it. You'll have to set a spell on every fireplace, door, window and chimney so that no one can enter the house at all!' James said, finishing it with an extra large grin.

  'What about you?' Adele asked curiously. 'What do you do?'

  'Me? Well,  I'm a leader, so I just sit here, sip lemon juice and wait for you all to report back to me!' James said happily, magicking all the said stuff. 'Aah… the joys of leaderhood… it really gets into you, doesn't it?' He lowered himself to the chair.

  'Sorry, no can do,' Sirius said, waving his wand in circles. Everything James magicked is gone, and James fell onto the floor painfully.

  'YOW!'

  'You're doing my assignment with me,' Lily said, smirking at him. 'It so happen that I have to block every entrance to the house, and couldn't really manage it all alone. After all, I'm just a sad secretary…'

  'No!! No, no, no, no, no!'

  'Aww… how sweet! It's a date, Potter! Your mothers are going to be so pleased with you two!' Remus said in a cutey-cute puppy-dog cooey-lovey-dovey voice of awed admiration. Adele coughed and Sirius rolled over with laughter, choking and gasping desperately for air.

  'Sorry?' Yvonne said, coming out. 'Did you call me? Or are you all planning to do something to me?'

  'Oh, no! Of course not!' Adele said at once. 'We're setting James and Lily on a date!'

  'Really?'

  Lily emitted a dry laugh from her throat. 'Yes, isn't it romantic, Ms Yvonne? I'm so touched that I plan to hug him and kiss him with gladness. Bleargh.'

  'Well, make sure you do that, Lily!' Yvonne said cheerfully, not noticing the sarcasm in Lily's tone. 'Bye bye kids! Be good okay, and stay out of pranks.'

  'Hasta la vista! AND IT IS NOT KIDS!! WE ARE SIXTEEN!!!' the five Marauders chorused, waving her off hurriedly. As soon as she was out of sight, James took command at once. Or rather, tried to get their attention. They were all muttering curses and hexes under their breaths, wondering which one to use to stop their parents from call them kids. James slammed his hand on the table to get his friends' attention.

  'YOW!!!!!' he yelled, holding his rather limp red hand. The other Marauders stared at him with happy amusement. 'Er, I really mean, let's start,' he said hurriedly. 'So… _Let's start!!!!!!_'

  And yet again, the pitiful Loopy Village was terrorized by the Marauders. They not only did as they had planned, ,but added a new entry to their list: Paint the village to look like peppermint candy for Christmas season.

  That night, all five mischief-makers received a rowing and a lecture from their parents, along with some whippings and fire burnings (courtesy to yours truly, Rose Evans). You don't really have the need to know the rest.

**

  Petunia entered the living room, dragging her big trunk after her. Her bony thin face was red with anger when she saw the five Marauders lounging nearby the fireplace, happily popping cherries into their mouths and sipping warm mugs of cocoa. Behind her, a fat, chubby koala bear crawled after her.

  Amusingly, the koala had a surprisingly purple set of fur.

  Rose and William Evans, Yvonne and Edward Potter, Anne and Romulus Lupin, Melissa and Orion Black, Celine Varens, and Gram blinked at the koala bear obviously.

  'Petunia, I- I didn't know you left for Australia,' Anna said finally. Petunia dropped the other trunk she was carrying with a huff.

  'I didn't even _LEAVE_ this country in the first place. This is Vernon Dursley!' she said with bothered annoyance.

  'Um, your boyfriend, right? I thought he was a… human, least to say,' Orion said, grinning a little cheekily, totally amused by the day's happenings.

  'LILY!!!!!!!!!!! I DEMAND THAT YOU PUT VERNON BACK TO NORMAL!!!!!!! I DON'T LIKE A KOALA IN THIS HOUSE!' Petunia shrieked shrilly. Vernon the koala blinked at his girlfriend blankly. James chuckled.

  'I think he didn't realize that he's the koala,' he said with a broad grin.

  'Lily, put him back to normal,' William said sternly. 'Or else, I'll make your mother—'

  'You don't need to make me do anything,' Rose cut. 'Look, I'll personally boil you in my new cauldron, size H-U-M-O-N-G-O-U-S. big enough to drown you and your friends in it without much water.'

  'Sounds nice enough to give me a hot spring sort-of bath,' Lily said eagerly. 'I'd love it, mum!!! Where'd you get it? Aw, I'd _always_ liked hot spring baths! When can we start?'

  'PUT VERNON BACK TO NORMAL!'

  'But it wasn't me who turned him into a bear,' Lily said bluntly.

  'JUST. PUT. HIM. BACK.' Slow, dangerous and totally mental, in some demented cases.

  'Did I do it?' Lily said, turning to her friends. Adeline looked up from her pile of jackets and knitting.

  'Oh, I didn't see you hold you wand yet,' the girl said quietly.

  'I doubt if she even had her wand out yet, ever since we got lectured,' Sirius muttered, burying deeper into his blanket.

  'Maybe, maybe,' Adele nodded. 'But we know Lily. She might make a duplicate of herself.'

  'Nah, if she does, then where's the duplicate?' Remus said.

  'Yeah, you can simply set "finite incantatem" at it because it'll just leave when it's sunrise,' James mumbled. 'Dark spells are so lovely… they can hardly leave unless you can command them. Joy. It's like placing the Killing Curse and do the Finite on it. Just plain stupid.'

  'There! Witnesses!' Lily said happily and triumphantly.

  'Put him back to normal,' Yvonne said sharply, not looking up from her book.

  'Look, I have my witnesses, I have reasons why I won't do it…'

  'Actually, no reasons yet,' Sirius said.

  'Thanks for being so helpful. Reasons: I think Vernon's stupid enough; he probably would turn into a vegetable of some sort instead of a koala if I ever am done with him; I prefer transfiguring people into clowns; he's Vernon. I mean, LOOK! Can you see him being a little boy in a killer whale sized clown suit???' Lily exclaimed.

  'No,' her friends chorused in unison.

  'So there you go. Besides, I don't even know the spell. Minnie refused to venture that topic, and it's tough to do that sort of practical work.'

  'LILY!' Rose and William yelled at once. Lily jumped.

  'Okay, okay! I'll do it! I'll put him back to normal, happy?? Sheesh, the things parents do when they favour the elder ones,' Lily muttered sourly. 'Stupid spell. Stupid McGonagall for not teaching me that yet. Stupid parents. Stupid all. Blah blah blah.' At this point, Lily Evans wasn't quite conscious with what she's talking about.

  'No, not _you_ Lily,' William said, pointing at his daughter. Lily blinked.

  'Oh?'

  Rose inhaled a lot of air. '**_LILY GINA TRENNA!!!!! GET OUT AND PUT HIM BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!_**'

  'Ah…' Adele said sagely, 'So it's Madam Trenna.'

  'Then why me?' Lily whimpered.

  'Um…'

  'She thought you did it,' Sirius supplied sympathicly.

  'Don't I look innocent??' Lily snapped.

  'Actually, no. that's why she thought it was you, I think,' Remus said gently. Lily snorted angrily.

  'Well, look of innocence means NOT innocent. Look of guilty means NOT guilty. That's universal policy!' Lily cried diplomaticly.

  'Your – our – mothers are against the universe. In a way,' James reprimanded.

  'Oh. Yes. Right. Thank you.'

  Rose is now lecturing Lily Trenna (the ghost-spirit echo was looking rather guilty with happiness) about abusing muggles. Trenna's wand (which is as dead as she is) was taken from its owner and she was threatened with a no TV room placed with a million spells to keep her from travelling like a ghost; past the walls. Trenna wailed loudly in reply. She had grown attached to the television set and is now addicted to soap operas, much to the Evans's disgust. The sound of dramatic sobs and wails has grown really common ever since two months ago.

"I _told_ you so," Adele Green frowned.

"Your sympathy is not welcomed," Trenna said sourly.

"You poor, poor thing!" James Chore pitied.

"Your sympathy is better, but I'm not a thing, James!!!"

"I suggest that we just ignore her," Sirius Brad said with a boring huff.

  Remus Pepper didn't say anything, but tapped the koala on the head. The cute Australian bear slowly made some changes. First, his big nose shrunk to a size of a flat walnut and ears shifted to the side of the head. Then with a gentle pooping pop, Vernon Dursley popped into existence. Not at all a graceful sight of change, but Vernon isn't even graceful to begin with, so it never really matters.

  The fat, big, purple man who looked like a radish had a bewildered look of horror on his chubby face.

  'You- you all are- are—' he stuttered.

  'Obliviate!' Edward cried, brandishing his wand at him.

  A dreamy look of ditz settled upon his face, giving him a look of some sinister person trying to pretend to be nice and failing it very horribly. 'Ah. Where am I? Petunia darling, where are we?'

  'At my house,' Petunia said with a sigh. 'You're spending a week here, Vernon, remember? This is Bluebells Cup, my home, in Loopy Village.'

  'Lovely name, but why give your house a name?'

  'So you will know it's your house, stupid,' Adele muttered.

  'Mother, can we turn him into a koala bear again?' Adeline whispered to Celine. 'I think he look cuter as a purple bear than a purple alien.'

  'Ssh!' Celine hushed.

"My… TV…" Trenna sniffed sadly.

"Please, Lily, it's not your life!" Chore said. "Quit whining!"

"Yeah. Look at us: we're DEAD!" Brad nodded.

"There's a drama tomorrow! WAAAAA!" Trenna wailed, bursting into showers of tears.

  'How can I thank the heavens, then?' Lily said sarcastically. 'It's too good to be true, anyway. Your cries and sobs are getting too much to bear for us six- and seven-senses wizards and witches!'

"You are NOT helping at all, Little Lily!"

  'I never did say that I am,' Lily said, poking a tongue at her. 'And don't call me little Lily!'

____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: and after THIS chapter… dun dun DUNN!!!!!! Chapter 6!!!! Me typed it out, and I'm counting how many times dear **Mystiara** told me I'm good ;) and for each time, I'm adding an hour towards my posting (*evil cackle*). So, let us all rejoice at the fact that bunny chan will get the next chapter sometime in two days!!! Hip hip hurrah!

  Phew. I hate my folders. Thank goodness this is the last of the lot!


	6. Runaway Scheme

Disclaimer: Honestly, we all know what's going to be read in this section. So let us just say thanks to those who had contributed! THANKS!!!!!

____________________________________________________________________________________

**The Marauding Five : Year Six**

Chapter 6: Runaway Scheme 

  Lily sat up in bed, her eys wide, sweaty and shaking all over. Three nights in a row for one week after the Marauders had returned home for Christmas holidays. The same nightmare. The same cold faces. The empty eyes. The evil snickers. Again and again. It just kept haunting her non-stop.

  'Breath, Lily, breathe. You don't look that evil. Neither does James, Adele, Sirius and Remus. Breathe…' Lily whispered to herself shakily. Eventually, she calmed down. 'It is NOT going to happen. You will NOT be controlled by Voldemort!' With that, she nodded confidently.

  She stared at the window. Silver white moonlight streamed past the luminous curtains. Lily got up and opened the window for some fresh air. Full moon. Remus would be transforming and gnawing in some time. Probably already doing so, torturing those poor trees.

  Quietly, Lily tiptoed to her cupboard and drew her broomstick out. She couldn't sleep, so she didn't quite see the pointless reason of why she should return to her bed and turn like some unrested dead. No harm could come by if she took a short stroll to visit Remus, right? Yep. Lily mounted her broom and kicked off into the dark night.

  The wind whistled in her ear as she flew towards the forest, looking for Remus's usual spot.

  _Aruuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!_

  Bingo! Remus! Lily smiled to herself. She guided her broom (with a LOT of threats and curses, since her broom turn out to be pretty ignorant) into the forest and carefully lay it on the tree. With a pop, she turned into a sleek dragani. Lily flew down gracefully. Just then, she saw a looming dark shadow coming towards her. Lily paused in her movement.

  Something large… something on four… an animal…

  "James?!" Lily growled. "How _dare_ you sneak up on me!!!" The stag stared at her for a short while.

  "Sneak up on _you_??? Whatever for? As if you can't use your psychic to blast me off five hundred miles away!" James – or Prongs – snorted. "What're you doing here?"  
  "Looking for Remus. Thought he might want some friends."

  "Ssh! Keep it low! I think Anne might be with him tonight."

  "Psst! Tinker? Prongs? Lily? James? Helloo…?" a furry voice asked softly. James and Lily whipped around carefully. The panda ran towards them eagerly, nearly bounding past the trees as the branches cracked a little under Adele's weight.

  Woof!

  "Shut up, Padfoot!" Adele hissed. "There's no grim, panda, stag and dragani in this forest."

  "Yikes, sorry," Sirius said, grinning doggishly as drool formed beneath his lips. The others winced as Sirius shook himself and the drool flew over with a splat on his fine black coat. "Hey, where's the wolf?"

  "Why are we all here?" Lily said.

  "Well, I sort of got bored," Adele said. "Thought I should pay Moony a little visit."

  "Ditto," James said.

  "I had a nightmare," Sirius shuddered. "I dreamt that Voldemort asked me to eat a million sundaes." The others raised their eyes questioningly in wonder. Sirius love food. A lot. He would even die for it, if it could be applied.

  "So it isn't a nightmare," James noted. "You're enjoying yourself!"

  "Yeah, but too many's… a nightmare," Sirius mumbled timidly.

  Grarh! Something large, hairy and long jumped out of the bushes suddenly. The four friends, surprised and quite taken aback by the monster, began yelling loudly in their own animal tongue as if a ghost had just scared the living daylights off their life, though in reality none had succeeded yet. After all, the ghosts at Hogwarts are really nice.

  "Wah hahahahahahahahaha!! Haha! Ha ha haaaa!!!" Remus's gruff voice was heard laughing as the werewolf literally rolled over the grass, tickled to the very depths of his funny bon at his friends' pale faces. "Your faces! Oh, help!! My stomach! Gosh! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!"

  "That's not… nice," James said decidedly with a frown.

  "And I thought werewolves howl," Adele said. Remus stopped laughing immediately. The werewolf coughed modestly for a while.

  "Erh, hehe, I'm a record breaker for two minutes, then," Remus said with a slight uncertainty of embarrassment.

  "Ssh!" Sirius hushed suddenly. Everyone turned to him quizzically. "Do you all hear something or… do you hear ANYTHING at all?" Lily's bell beneath her round blue chin tinkled a little.

  "Oh! You mean _that_. Well, yeah," Adele said.

  "No! Listen. Carefully. It's a shuffling of dry leaves! Listen!" Sirius insisted in a hushed whisper, his ears cocked up sensitively.

  "Well, there's no animals here, not counting us," Remus said nervously. Lily felt a sudden chill in her bones. A chilling, biting, _evil_ presence had somehow swept upon them, blanketing the five friends in its gales of evil.

  "You know," Lily said timidly. "I think that we should run."

  "It's getting nearer," Sirius whispered.

  "Maybe we _should_ run," James mumbled, feeling the cold presence. He tried to budge his hooves.

  "Closer…"

  "C'mon guys, let's go," Adele whimpered. The Marauders pulled their paws and hooves, but in vain.

  "It's coming…" Sirius moaned. They crouched close. Neither of the four animagus dared turn back to their human form, for fear of Remus attacking them. They shuddered in fright, completely stiff and almost _studded_ to the ground. Neither could move.

  And in two seconds, all five Marauders lay, unconscious, in the middle of the blackening forest.

**

  Adeline yawned loudly, stretching herself. She rubbed her violet eyes blearily.

  'Adele, can you help me up?' Adeline called. No answer. 'Adele? Please!!!! I need to get breakfast ready!!'

  Silence followed.

  'Hey, do you intend to starve this morning??? Help me up now, Adele!' Still no answer. And not a sound. Adeline frowned.

  With much difficulty, she turned herself to face her twin sister's bed, wondering is Adele was playing a joke or is ignoring her on purpose. To her surprise, her sister's bed was empty. And made. As a rule, Adele never make her bed. She called it housewife job, and since she isn't a housewife, she couldn't see the meaning to acting like one. That's perfectly reasonable, of course.

  Still, the bed was made. Rather messily, but still made. Probably with magic.

  'Hello? Adele?'

  Hey, her monkey sister might be playing a nasty game of hide and seek with her!

  'Adele Celine Varens, I'm NOT in a mood to play at the moment!!! GET OUT **NOW**!!!!!!!!!!' Adeline yelled. No sound. Adele would usually giggle by now. Adeline did a quick double check at her sister's night table. The slender yew wand laid on the table, along with a pair of just-ironed robes for the day. Somehow, that seem to tell her that Adele is in trouble. Adeline could feel a cold shiver snaking down her spine. She took a deep breath.

  'MOTHER!!! ADELE IS MISSING!!!!! MUM!!!! ADELE'S GONE!!!!!! SHE'S GONE!!!!!!!!!!'

**

"They're gone!" Lily Trenna cried.

"And Heaven knows only where!!!" Sirius Brad wailed loudly.

"I don't see the use of police at all," Remus Pepper scowled. "We're wizards, for Merlin's sake!"

"And witches," Adele Green added.

"Yes, and witches," Pepper nodded.

"Shut up and just find them!" James Chore hissed.

  Rose paced up and down, disturbed, in the living room. The Potters, Blacks, Lupins and Varens (only Celine and Adeline) were staring at her hopefully.

  'I didn't get any vibes,' the lady said thoughtfully. 'And certainly no predictions either, for the past two months.'

  'But they've been missing for more than a day!' Gram cried tearfully. Her eyes were swollen. 'The muggle police said that they might be kidnapped!'

  'Remus said that he'll be fine alone,' Anne sniffled. Romulus placed a comforting arm on her shoulder.

  'Those idiots. Let's just hope that they're alive,' William Evans muttered. 'I can understand if Remus got lost in the forest for a few days – it has happened, yes – but what about the rest of them? They couldn't all be lost at once in the forest, right?'

  'Maybe- maybe- maybe Remus bit them,' Petunia stuttered. 'They- they die, and- and Remus k-killed himself.'

  'Nonsense!' Yvonne yelled. 'They hadn't died yet!'

  'Oh?'

  'How's you know?' Adeline challenged.

  'BECAUSE these stupid pests are still here!' Orion said brightly, pointing at the flustered Maggles with a triumphed expression.

  'But- but they haven't their wands,' Adeline whispered tearfully, fingering her sister's wand. She stared dully at the other four wands on the table.

  'Aye, aye. A wizard should always carry his wand at all times. General knowledge,' Petunia said.

  'Oh, but Lily, James, Remus, Adele and Sirius have powers,' Edward said brightly. 'And with them, I don't think we need to worry much. Um, right?'

  'Wrong, Ed. I'd better get my crystal ball out now, than listen to your flimping theories!' Rose said with a huff, stomping up the stairs.

  'Should've done so earlier,' Melissa Black muttered. The Maggles flew out of the window. Suddenly, everything seemed quiet.

  Everyone stared into their mug of hot chocolate. Gram was still dabbling tears with the tissue. A great mountain of used tissue lay in one corner, and its height is constantly increasing, thanks to Adeline, too. It seemed almost like ages until Rose finally showed up with a misty blue crystal orb.

  'What took you so long?' William asked.

  'Can't find my Divination set. Borrowed Lily's. I swear, she'll have to clean her room as soon as she returns!' Rose grumped, setting it onto the table.

  'IF she returns,' Gram added sulkily.

"Hey!!! Guess what we found!!!"

  'Ssh! I'm trying to concentrate!'

"We found Lily's broom," Brad announced.

"Looks like she left for a midnight fly," Chore said.

  This had everyone's attention. Trenna and Pepper dropped the broom onto the table gently. In bright silver letters, it read "COMET—PROPERTY OF LILY R. EVANS, THE MRDs. TRY TO FLY AND DIE."

  'Interesting,' Petunia commented flatly, wondering how her sister had come by this weird humour.

  'W- where'd you find this?' Gram asked.

"In the forest, new Little Remus's usual place," Pepper said.

  Rose's lips set itself into a straight, prim line.

  'Alright everyone! Into robes!' she called, pulling her wand out. 'It's time we do a spell!'

  'Us too?' Adeline asked, pointing at her wheelchair.

  'You too,' she said firmly, tapping on Adeline's back. She waved her wand, and everyone was instantly dressed in the traditional witchy black robes and pointy witch hats.

  Very uncannily witch-like, Petunia noted. Meaning that they're doing a serious spell.

**

  'Uh, where's this place?' Remus said, blinking to focus his iris. His friends stared at him.

  'We're caught,' Sirius said promptly, nodding at the door. 'Locked in a tower.' He nodded at the stoney walls around them.

  'Obvious fact, Sirius,' Adele sighed. She took the room in. 'For a prisoner's tower, it sure is pretty fancy. They lit the candles for us.'

  'I wonder who brought us here,' James pondered. 'And why. What do you want from us?'

  'I just wish I have a crystal ball, or teacup, or a chalk, or tarot cards!' Lily waied.

  'Whatever for?' Remus asked. 'Divination?'

  'No. The crystal ball's to play monkey with. The teacup's so that we won't be so thirsty. The chalk's the sign an autograph on the walls, which I'm sure will make perfect décor enough. If I have those cards, we can play games!' Lily said brightly.

  'I'm confirmed,' Sirius groaned. 'We should send her to the mental asylum. I mean, we should figure a way to get out!!!'

  'That's easy,' Adele said pompously. 'Move aside.'

  Adele meditated for five minutes before staring at the door, as if daring the door to deceive her and turn into a little tortoise to be stomped on. Nothing of such happened. A little sparkle emitted from her forehead where the miniature burnt scar of a small triangle that marked her as a black mage.

  Flames burst forth and hit the wooden door. Nothing happened.

  Lily yawned. 'It's not use. It's guarded against all sorts of magic.'

  Adele glared sourly and kicked the door. 'Hey! OPEN! Wood's suppose to BURN, not RESIST fire!!!!!!'

  'WAAAAH!!! LET ME OUT! LEMME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Sirius yelled, kicking the door with fiery rage. He stubbed his toes and was soon seen jumping on one foot in pain.

  Remus blinked.

  'Did any of you realize that there's a window here?' the boy said politely – factually – and pointed at the glass window very intelligently.

  'This is a tower, Remus,' James reminded. 'Towers are not suppose to have a window.'

  'How do you explain this, then?'

  'Err… it's a demented tower.'

  Remus twisted the handle and threw the large window open. A fresh gale of night air shuffled in, replacing the choking smokes of the candle flames. 'Aaah! Nice fresh air!'

  '…Why aren't we running away?' Adele asked. 'The window's open, and it's big, and we're not THAT big to get stuck.'

  'Ding dong!!!! It's a _tower_! It's _high_!!! We don't know the _way_ home! We don't want to _die_!' Sirius yelled.

  'Consider being a poet,' Adele grinned. 'You rhyme. A little.'

  'I'm going home if none of you want to,' Lily said, leaning casually at the window. The window's _other side_. The rest of the Marauder blinked.

  'How…?'

  'Hey, this is **not** even a tower AT ALL!'

**

  BOMB!!! The spell (potion) Rose and Yvonne tried to concoct burst out of the cauldron in a lovely fountain-like way and dissolved into nothing.

  'Mum, you _do_ know how to make it, right?' Petunia said doubtfully. She was feeling incredibly stupid, dancing around the cauldron, chanting "Ugga-ugga, wig-wig, gigga-gigga, ugg ugg" like some tribal cannibal fool. Not only that, her black witch hat kept dropping over her face and she kept tripping over her extra long robes.

  If those witch hunters ever enter this place, they're in for a huge load of cash.

  'Um, yeah,' Rose said uncertainly.

  'I guess this happens when you put a potion failing student and a bad cook,' Anne sighed.

"Alright, what's this?" Trenna said excitedly.

"Looks like Cushioning Charm to me," Chore said, turning the broom over.

"This?"  
"Hmm… Balancing spell. Good idea."

  'You'd seen a broomstick before,' Edward called to them.

"Yeah, but not with these charms!"

  'Primitive,' William muttered.

  'Aaaaah!!!!!' Rose and Yvonne shrieked when the cauldron contents went bomb again, this time drenching both women.

**

  'Magic carpets are banned!' Remus cried as Lily swerved it from the flock of owls.

  'Shut up and be grateful for it!' Lily hissed. 'It's every bit of James's magic and my Psychic to keep it invisible and here, so keep quiet and let me concentrate!'

  'Oh? Every bit?'

  'Alright, not all, but the point is still there.'

  'Yikes! Watch for the airplane!!!!!' Adele yelled as Lily swerved sharply out of the plane's way.

  'When you apply for driving license,' Sirius gasped, 'make sure you don't bribe that examiner, or the hospital will have a lot of patients.'

  In reply, Lily sent him rocketing in the air for five minutes ('Aaaah!!! I apologize!!! My mistake, Lady Lily Evans!!!! Sorry your highness!!!! AAAAAAAH!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!') before dropping him onto the carpet harshly.

**

"That, Rose Evans, is the TWELFTH time!" Pepper yelled.

"Can't you get someone else to do it?" Green asked.

  'The instructions stated clearly that a divinationist and a bad cooker should do it,' Rose gasped, her face in black soot.

  'Mum!' Petunia yelled, 'Don't keep messing it up!'

  'Rose dear, why don't you let 'Tunia do it?' Gram sniffled. Rose stared at Gram in horror.

  'NO! I'll try again!'

  'It'll be the thirteenth time,' Adeline sighed.

  'Thirteen is a witch's lucky number,' Rose snapped, straightening the cauldron again.

**

  The dark room was dimly lit by a tiny piece of wax which will burn out in no time. A trembling figure stood before a large, decidedly comfortable, armchair. The fire flickered.

  'What is it, Pettigrew?' the Dark Lord's cold voice asked, fingering a number of papers – parchments – that bears resemblance to tickets. Peter Pettigrew gulped.

  'M-M'lord, I'm afraid they-they- that they have es-es-escaped,' Pettigrew stuttered.

  'They WHAT?! Speak loud, Pettigrew!'

  'They- They have escaped, m'lord!'

  Lord Voldemort narrowed his eyes. 'How?' he asked in a snaky yet dangerous manner.

  'Th-the window, m'lord. They-they-they opened it,' Pettigrew whimpered. 'It-it-it appears that Lucius Malfoy has f-forgotten to-to lock it.'

  'HAVE YOU STUPID FOOLS FORGOTTEN OF WHAT I HAVE AS MY HOSTAGE???????' Voldemort barked in a booming voice, holding out the parchments he held. 'I can burn these!' Pettigrew gulped.

  'We're sorry, m'lord!!! Terribly sorry!' he cried.

  'That is it, Pettigrew. Tell your friends that the Quidditch World Cup Finals ticket prize will NEVER go to your smudgy hands,' Voldemort hissed before erupting in a string of mad laughter. Pettigrew let out a cry of dismay. He dropped to his knees.

  'Please, m'lord!!! Give it to us! Please!!! It means a lot to us! Please, oh please, oh please!!!!!!' Pettigrrew whimpered. Voldemort threw his head and let out another evil string of laughter.

  'NEVER!' He cried. 'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

  'Please, my lord! We- we will do ANYTHING for them!!!! Please?' Pettigrew glanced at the dark lord with imploring puppy eyes. It looked hardly imploring at all, though. Still, Voldemort didn't see it. If he did, he would have tossed Pettigrew to the ends of earth and not see him ever.

  'MWAHAHA!' he laughed. 'I will, but only to the SEMI-finals. You'll have to suffer for being careless!' Pettigrew let his body dropped to the ground humbly, tears in his eyes.

  'Oh, thank you, m'lord! Thank you! You are most kind!'

  'MWAHAHAHAHA! You might not even get the semi-finals!'

  'I- I mean, you are most evil, m'lord!' Pettigrew said hastily. 'Most evil!'

  'Better. HAHAHAHAHAHAGAAGH!!!!' The Dark Lord coughed and choked on his on saliva, just as the candle's orange cap went off.

**

  'Yay! We're home! We're home!!!' Adele cried joyfully, catching a glimpse of Loopy Village's colourful decorations made by the Marauders a week ago. Not one wizard could figure the counter magic, thus is should have to stay until the spell worn out.

  'Ssh! James, stop jumping! I can't control it!!!' Lily growled with difficulty.

  'Yay! Yay!'

  Lily is, of course, being ignored. Her friends were dancing on the magic carpet happily. Sirius was doing cartwheels (it's amazing that he hadn't fallen off) and James and Remus were jumping in a sort of dance. Finally, unable to control any much longer, Lily gave it up and let the carpet fall and smash downwards. Right onto Bluebells Cup.

  BOMB.

  'Yeah, thirteen is lucky, huh? It's the biggest explosion!!!' Petunia screeched.

  'According to the Witch's Weekly, my horoscope says that thirteen's my lucky number!!!' Rose yelled.

  'Uh, that's my _unlucky_ number,' Yvonne said.

  The five Marauders were hardly noticed at all. They stared at each other in puzzlement, a question written on their faces, NOT literally. Weren't their parents suppose to be worrying? After all,  they were gone for a day, nearly two.

  'Er, we're home,' Remus said awkwardly. Neither of the arguing parents and sisters paid him much attention. Or rather, no attention at all. Gram was sobbing in her corner, ignoring everything around her. James frowned.

  'Alright gang,' he said, 'on one, two, THREE!'

  'WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' the five teenagers chorused loudly. Still, no attention was given. James is becoming tensely irritated. He saw his wand on the table, grabbed it, magicked a microphone and yelled into it with his friends.

  '**_WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**'

  Finally, ,they got their attention. It's not the one the Marauders expect, though.

  'QUIET, OR I'LL TURN EVERYONE INTO A FLOBBERWORM!' Anne screeched.

  Very angered now, the Marauders snatched their respective wands from the table and waved it with a furious flick of wrist.

  Everyone but the Marauders turned into statues. Well, they can still think and see and hear, but they can't move or talk. Satisfied, they grinned happily.

  'We're home, everyone,' Adele said sweetly.

  'And we want food,' Lily said.

  'Hungry,' Remus nodded.

  'Starving,' James said.

  'I'm DYING of hunger!!!!' Sirius yelled. 'ACCIO, FRIDGE!!!'

  A large commotion was heard in the kitchen. Five seconds later, the green refridgerator dropped itself before the five teens and they began emptying it in a great hurry. After filling themselves (approximately fifteen minutes later with an empty fridge), they waved their wands again.

  'We're home, bloated, and quite happy,' Sirius said happily.

  Endings are never as expected, though. Instead of warm embraces, tears, cries and hugs, the Marauders were yelled at, given lectures and, again, grounded.

  Worst of all, Lily and James were caught off-guard by their parents, who immediately smashed Lily onto James and made them kiss. Literally.

  'Phooey! GARLIC!!!' Lily yelled, sticking out her tongue.

  And it's only the start of their Christmas holidays.

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AN: so, for those who had waited for so long [*sniffles*], it's finally up. And in case no one is following the recent steps of events, FF.N had deleted this fic before and I spent a lot of time re-uploading it again. I hate my folders. Labyrinth folders are no more anymore. I have all the chapters in diskettes now.

  I didn't quite manage to get the list of, er, reviewers, nor did I get much to read many of them when FF.N removed it, so… SORRY EVERYONE!!!!! I'm REALLY sorry!!!!!!!!

 Misty, I lied :P I told you three days, and it's only three. Er, sorry!

I hope everyone like this chapter, though it's a little, uh, short…? I don't know.

Review, please?


	7. Tally vs. Dan

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SAKURAnTOKYO: *cough* yeah, actually like the Harry Potter ones… o_O I'll be sued the next thing I know!!! And that's dangerous!!!! *shudders* me glad you like it tho! ^^

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Hermione2: Hey, we share the same humour!!! :P some people think that Voldie was rather over-reacting, what with the Quidditch cup tickets and all _ evil them! But at least you liked it!! Yay!!! *hugs*

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Cristina: Don't worry over the manners :P you're forgiven!

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Rini: wai! Why not Chibi Usagi??? I don't like the name Rini _ dubbed versions are baaad! Anyway, I'm sorry about the grammar! Gomen ne, gomen ne! I'll try to improve!

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Sweet Thang: *jumps around the room also*

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Raven Maxwell: Time to die for me! Tick-tock, tick-tock :P lol, just kidding!

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TUGLFS: *blinks* of COURSE I am going to finish this!!!!!!!

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New Name: ano, no, no e-mail except one that threatened to kill herself if I don't post! *shudders* scary…!! You're ten??? I wish I'm still 6! ^_^ I've been living in fantasy far too long, I think.

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Lily Evans: Come, let's say it in chorus—ACCIO, FRIDGE!!!!!

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~*Crystal Lily*~: JUST wrote it :p

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Greengoldfish: let's all hail to the Lord of Humour—LORD VOLDIEMORT!!!!!!!! *laughs* I think Voldie makes a good humour scene. What about you? ^_^

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Lily's Friend*Jess: no, I know that there's no asterisk, but I thought that it'll be fun to place it in your name ^^ you don't mind? And I can't be your number one author, cause it CERTAINLY isn't me, of all people in FF.N!

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Britz: ^_^ sorry, I haven't been reviewing in a while! I'll get to it as soon as I settle everything around me! Promise, promise!!!!

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Milkyweed: bunny take that hilarious chapter as a compliment, kay? :)

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Taracollowen: I don't know if you're reading this, but just thought that I should wave hi! So… *waves* HI!!!!!

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Misty: gomen, I'm too lazy to type everything, but I think you'll know that this is for you :P let's all make Sirius a Poet! And let's all use thirteen as a luck/unlucky number to see if we'll get both or none ^^ then again, I don't want a hole in my ceiling. Yet.

Disclaimer: Been too long under the sun. The sun's not mine, nor the earth, nor anything for that matter. Only with a short exception for me, myself, I and my life.

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****

The Marauding Five : Year Six

Chapter 7: Tally vs. Dan

After a dozen hugs, kisses, yells, affectionate farewells and warnings (of breaking school rules—again), the Marauders made their way to Hogwarts castle door. Their parents insisted that they were sent to Hogwarts _personally_ and refused to let any of their kids wander out of their sight. Not even when Sirius tried to go to the toilet.

Adele inhaled the fresh air, enjoying every bit of the oxygen her lungs are breathing in. Sirius, however, wasted no time in observing nature but threw the huge castle doors open and rushed in, muttering about toilet and insane parents. Remus was enjoying the laughter of a couple of muggle-borns, which… tinkled from a faraway hill. It could have been his werewolf senses going on height again.

James was inspecting his trunk, scowling under his breath in finding that his parents had removed his prank books and had replaced them with certain editions of thick "HOW TO DATE A GIRL—A COMPLETE GUIDE, ENCYCLOPAEDIA #1" books. Lily was mourning over her Yumi's (Kiara) food as it had fallen messily over the snow-covered grass.

'We're back!!!!!' Adele announced happily, walking into the Gryffindor common room.

'Oh good!!! Thank God! Save me!' Tally squealed, running for shelter behind James and Remus.

'Hey, buzz off!' Remus said, shooing Tally off.

'TALLY! YOU GET BACK HERE!!!!!!!!' Dan's angry voice yelled.

'What did you do?' Lily asked in amusement. It was usually Tally who was the one yelling.

'I sort of destroyed his date,' the blonde girl said.

'She _ruined_ it!' Dan corrected.

'I only spilled the butterbeer over her robes.'

'Not to mention that 5 Knut ice-cream.'

'It was only plain carbon dioxide ice!'

'NO!!!! A cherry and strawberry syrup were in your list, too!'

'Grr!'

'Grr!!'

'Ah,' Sirius said, strolling in. 'What happened?' He stared from Tally to Dan. 'I didn't know you know the existence of carbon dioxide, being wizards and witches.' The two snarled at him, and he cowered in fright.

'Score to Tal and Dan, nil to Sirius!' James said, scribbling onto his notebook. Sirius snatched the 2B pencil from James's hand.

'No! It's not me versus them! Is Tally versus Dan, remember?' Sirius said. 'And don't you insult me, too!' he hissed into James's ear. James chuckled and nodded.

'Fine, fine,' he said boringly. 'So, will we be involved in this…? I mean—'

'Hang on a moment,' Adele said, interrupting James. 'I plan to take on Tally's side!' Tally cheered with a whoop.

'Why?' Lily asked.

'Because, Lily, we're girls! And boys shouldn't dump girls the way Dan did!' Adele retorted. 'I don't think should be the victim. I mean, LOOK at us! We're _always_ the sad heartbroken community, aren't we?'

'No. So far, you look pretty much okay to me, and your heart seems very much in place,' Sirius said. Adele sent him a glare.

'Boys think that we're tools! Our heart's just another game for them. I don't believe that the male community that "work hard" for the girls will love her—HAH! Yeah right! I'll eat my own head!' Adele said scornfully.

Tally nodded thoughtfully. 'Yeah! Look at all the flowers Dan once sent!'

Lily scratched her head in puzzlement. 'Um, I don't quite get it. But since I'm a girl myself, I guess…'

'You should stand by us girls!!!' Adele and Tally chirped.

'Erh… really…?'

'Yes!!!'

'Well. Whatever. Fine. Bah.'

'Is that a yes?? It is?? WHEE!!!! YAY!!!! WE RULE~!!!' Tally shrieked.

'Hey!!!' James said, 'think before you reply!!!' Adele poked her tongue out in reply.

'I'm a very convincing person,' Adele said cockily to him. The boys gritted their teeth. They obviously don't take insults very easily.

'Dan, we're with you since those girls took sides,' James said instantly.

'Aye, it's time we show them who's the boss!' Sirius said.

'Not that… serious now, are we?' Remus said uneasily. He didn't quite fancy the idea of being at war with his friend. After all, no matter what, Lily had more advantage of them with that disturbing Psychic skill of hers.

'Of course we are, Remus! What did you expect, a water balloon party?' Sirius said sarcastically.

'I, um, would rather be out of this, er, cause I don't, um, feel like playing along,' Remus said decidedly.

'No, _I_'m the leader, so you MUST join us!' James insisted, holding onto Remus's robes firmly so that he doesn't run away.

Remus stared helplessly into the thin air, as if moaning 'NO!!!! Why me? WHY ME????? ARGH!!!! CHOOSE ANYONE BUT ME!'

'Alright! So let the battle begin!' Dan yelled.

'You bet on it, Trevor!!!' Tally shrieked. The two groups turned to their heels and stomped off into their dormitory.

**

'You cannot be the leader!!! _I_ want to be the leader!' Lily said in a shrill voice.

'Oh yeah? Who started this fight against Dan? Me! ME, get it?? Not YOU!' Tally screeched.

'I think _I_ deserve to be the leader cause _I _have all the points why we must fight, and I have talents unlike—' Adele started.

'You want to get a blast of icy winter at the moment now, don't you?' Lily said with a warning glare. Adele cowered. However evil she, Adele Varens, may look, Lily's innocently charming face could always produce a glare of threat to win the Meanest Looking Face award of the day.

'I give,' Adele mumbled resentfully. Oh well. Lily ALWAYS gets her way.

'I'M THE LEADER!!!' Tally yelled.

'NO, _I_ AM THE LEADER!' Lily shrieked, twice the times louder than Tally.

'ME!'

'NO, ME!'

'I WANNA TAKE COMMAND!'

'I WANT IT EVEN MORE! BESIDES, I'M A MARAUDER!'

'I DON'T CARE!'

'DO AS I SAY, CHAPMAN!'

'SHAN'T!

'I **_QUIT_**!' Lily screamed. Adele blinked at her.

'Quit? Quit what, Lily?' the raven girl questioned in puzzlement. 'Quit from the leader job? I thought you liked it!'

'No, I quit. For real,' Lily said.

'Yes, but what DID you quit???'

'From this stupid fighting thing. It's not making much sense to me. You expect _me_ to just be some stupid _pawn_?? HAH! In your dreams! Also, I don't really feel like fighting with the boys,' Lily said carelessly.

'But—'

'Who cares? I know them for more than 16 years! We haven't had a fight for – what? Oh yeah – eight months!' Lily said. 'A fight too many is never healthy for the best of friends.'

'What was that last fight about?' Adele said in puzzlement, racking her brains for memory.

'Oh, that talent rubbish. We were arguing whether or not we should snap you awake or keep you in trance. Nothing pleasant.'

**

'I won't let you be the leader. Na-ah, nope, sorry, out of your mind,' James said when Dan told him about the "leader" thing. It appears, too, that the male part of the Marauders share the same mind as their female counterpart: Tally and Dan do NOT deserve to be the leader at all.

'But you can't always be the leader!' Dan protested. 'I want a chance!'

'I have that streak for leader hood that you don't. Face it.'

'Like so, hah,' Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes. 'But yes, James has a great streak of bossing people around and ordering to his heart's content.'

'So, take me or leave it totally,' James said calmly.

'I still want to be the leader,' the boy replied stubbornly. James shrugged.

'That's your choice, Trevor. I'm not in your little rivalry thing no more.'

**

'She won't let me be, so I quit,' Lily said cheerfully. Remus nodded.

'So how did Adele got roped in with you?' Sirius asked.

'Well, Lily quitted, so… uh, you know.'

'Ah.'

'What about you?' Lily questioned. 'All three of you are here!'

'We met the same fate as your do,' James said. 'Dan wouldn't let me be a leader, so we just decided to leave him to his little childish fight.'

'He wants face,' Remus whispered, 'as in, he wants his "honour record" to be absolutely whitewash. Can't bear to have it darken.'

James didn't hear him, thankfully. He went on rattling, 'now I'd made a decision on our solution!'

'Oh? That's first. What about it?'

'Tally and Dan wants a fight,' he said, a mischievous grin flashed across his face. 'Let's help them.'

**

'Chapman, will you please recite the important of the Billywig to the universe in general?' Professor Goshanit-elp, the trainee DADA teacher of the term, said to her class. Tally Chapman stood up, both of them. One held a book in her hands and the other a twig from the pitiful firtree that has been victimised by the girl.

'The importance of Billywig—' they both started at the same time. They stopped, stared at each other and let out an asthmatic-like gasp.

'Who are you?' Tally cried.

'Who are _you_?' Lily—who is pretending to be the other Tally, holding the twig—shrieked in reply.

'I'm Tally Chapman,' Tally said.

'I'm Tally Evelyn Chapman,' Lily said diplomatically.

'No you are not! I am!'

'You're wrong! I _am_ Tally! You're the impostor!'

'Atta it, Tinker,' Remus grinned from the far corner of the room.

'Would be Jimbo's turn next,' Sirius said, lying back in relaxation. This proved to be, as James promised, fun.

Remus, Sirius and Adele were sitting at the corner whilst Lily and James, disguised respectively as Tally and Dan, were sitting … somewhere in the middle of the classroom.

'I don't care which of you is the real Tally,' Goshanit-elp frowned. 'Would one of you please answer my question?'

'But professor!' Lily protested, clearly enjoying herself, 'can't you see that this girl is impersonating me? I bet she's Lily Evans! Lily isn't here!'

Tally gaped. 'But I _am_ Tally!'

Goshanit-elp stared at them both in puzzlement. 'Oh gosh, I need help. Dan Trevor, would you kindly—'

'Certainly,' James said, standing up. 'Hey Tal, go curse Lily! That wrench's been on it for some time!' Lily shot him a glare that would slash him into a million pieces should she wish it, but calmly took it with a clear head.

Instead, she put on her best horror-stricken face. 'When are YOU on my side?'

'You're an impostor! I'm Dan!' Dan yelled, standing from his seat next to Tally.

'Gosh, gosh, gosh… I'm in desperate need of help… Children, can we settle this later?' the professor said feverishly. 'Serena Tappers, can you explain—'

'You impostor!!!!' Lily yelled at Tally, brandishing her twig at the blonde girl furiously. 'Get off my disguise! Finite incantatem!'

Literally, nothing happened. Lily and James were disguised in the muggle way with muggle products (of which lily had stolen from her mother, an ex-beautician) and were coated with layers upon layers of potion brewed especially by Sirius to be immune to the finite incantatem spell.

'I'm Tally Chapman!' Tally retorted. She jabbed her finger at Dan next to her. 'And he's Dan, not that moron next to _you_.'

'I'm the real Dan, Tal,' James said matter-of-factly. Tally blinked.

'Well- well I'm sure Severus Snape could tell the difference!' she stammered, turning to the Slytherin in question. 'Couldn't you Snape?'

Snape looked very much in trouble. He hadn't any clue of which is the real Tally.

'Hah! Like I'd ask a Slytherin to help!' Lily said. 'Everyone knows how much I hate Snape!' Murmurs of agreement swept through the room.

'Gosh, I need help,' Goshanit-elp moaned pitifully. 'Please don't fight, children!'

Needless to say, it took all of James and Lily's control system to yell out "WE ARE **NOT** CHILDREN!!!!!" but they managed it, all the same. Still, the rest of the Marauders had got a word in that.

'We're NOT children!' Sirius yelled from his place. 'With the capital N-O-T all in bold and italics, if you would wish!'

'Lily, I know it's you!!!' Tally screeched. 'You're not in this room!'

'Lily and James had to help Dumbledore,' Adele called. 'Or rather, do some detention with him, for pulling up Hagrid's pumpkin patch.'

Tally gritted her teeth. Where was help when she needed it? 'STOP DISGUISING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

'Do you realise the use of your exclamation marks, Tal?' Dan suggested.

'You ought to pull that disguise!' Lily cried back.

'Bleh bleh bleh!' James said, sticking his tongue out at Tally and Dan.

'Oh gosh… can someone please help me…???' Goshanit-elp moaned, slumping into her chair.

**

Lily, James, Dan and Tally went to Gryffindor common room, arguing all the way. The remaining three Marauders tagged behind them in interest.

'How can you be so sure that you're not disguising, huh?' James challenged.

'Because _you_ claimed to be Dan Trevor before I did!' Dan shot. Then suddenly, it hit Tally.

'Who's the smartest in our form? I recall that Anna's leading,' Tally said casually. Then being idiots they are, they fell for it.

'No!!! I may be bad in General Knowledge, but look, geography isn't in our syllabus!' Lily retorted.

'We're the smartest, really,' James added.

'AHA! Caught you red handed!' Tally shrieked. 'You ARE Lily and James!'

'Our hands aren't red, are they James?'

'They look pretty normal to me… Gee Tal, how'd you get it?'

'Quick brain. Now get off that disguise and leave us alone!' she screeched as Sirius, Remus and Adele bowled over with laughter. Lily removed the blonde wig huffily.

'Can't you take a joke?' she asked with a small sign of cheeky whimper.

'No!' Tally and Dan yelled at once.

**

'What do you mean I'm a flirt?' Dan yelled.

'Well fine! You're a stupid jerk! Traitor! Two-faced monster! Moron! Dummy! Grossed out silver! Diaper duck! Mini mouse!' Tally shrieked in one breath. She took in some air. 'You dumped me, then you picked me up, then dump, then pink, dump, pick, dump, pick, dump, pick… what do you think I am??? Some ITEM??? An unbreakable vase??????' Now she's really using too many question marks.

'Grr!

'Grrr!'

'Oktagos!'

'Gualanos!'

Poof! Dan turned into a green iguana that reached the fireplace, and Tally morphed into an octagon. By the looks of it, it seemed as if Tally had had the worst of the two: Dan the Iguana can still hold his wand, but Tally the octagon had no hand nor finger to hold hers. Then again, Dan can't talk.

Adele conveyed this in giggles.

'You two are still fighting like cats and dogs!' she giggled in exclamation. 'Finite incantatem!'

Pfft! The two were back to normal.

They were at necks in the next second.

'How dare you!'

'Grr…!'

Tally was straggling Dan and the boy was pulling Tally's shoulder-length hair. Adele surveyed this happily.

'If you two so happen to kiss, please tell me,' the raven girl said cheerfully.

'This is silly. Why're they even fighting in the first place?' Sirius yawned.

'Because – grr – Dan is a big liar!' Tally gritted.

'Grr… you started it by throwing a shoe at me!' Dan choked.

'You called me fat!'

'Well you are!'

'No I'm not!'

'Yes you are! Fatty!'

That did it. With her right hand still ringed around his neck, Tally brought her wand to Dan's head with her left hand and muttered a curse.

Dan was soon brought to Madam Pomfrey, his left ear bleeding profusely.

**

'Back again,' Madam Pomfrey sighed when she saw Sirius levitating Dan in. 'Seriously, if it isn't Snape or one of those Slytherins, it's either Tally or Dan. What happened this time?'

'Oh, I think Tally muttered the wrong curse,' Adele supplied cheerily.

'I thought you Marauder claim yourself geniuses,' the nurse muttered, pulling out some parchments. 'Why don't you stop Tally and Dan?'

'Well… Hey, that's a good idea!' Adele grinned.

'Then why not put it on action?' Madam Pomfrey said darkly.

'We'll talk to Jimmy about it,' Sirius chirped. 'He was getting rather bored anyway!'

**

'Sure I am… getting bored, eh?' James said sarcastically.

'Well, better than constant yells over our dorms,' Adele said timidly. 'Tally's voice had deafened us and Dan's reply isn't any better.'

'She has a point,' Remus said flatly. 'But Poppy hates us. She'd never allow us to demonstrate our streak of creative, innovative, ingenius intelligence!!!'

'She just asked us to perform it on Tally and Dan,' Lily pointed out bluntly. 'But I don't see the eye to why must we do it for her.'

'_BECAUSE_ she asked us to! She might tell the whole school about us! And we'll be embarrassed for the rest of our school days!!!!' Sirius gasped. 'Think of our honour! Our face!!! If she tells that the Marauders are too lousy to take on the SIMPLE task of shutting Tally and Dan up, we'll be prisoned forever in doom!'

'Colourful,' Lily said dryly. 'You really ought to consider yourself being a poet of dramatic writings.'

'In other words, don't,' James added with a grin.

'So, will we do it? To save our face?' Sirius whimpered.

'Yes. Shut up. You're killing us. Stupid pathetic doggy eyes, no wonder you chose to turn into a DOG, of all things!' Remus grumbled.

'My pleasure,' Sirius beamed.

'In what?'

'Killing you. Mwahaha!'

'Insane. Gah. We have a kid who's laughing like Lord Voldemort here!' Lily said in a bugle-type of tone.

'So… What are we going to do?' Adele said.

'Kill Tally and Dan!' Sirius said brightly.

'Hey, let's all opt for entering Azkaban or say that we'll join Voldemort!' Remus cried. In other word (or translated version), it literally carries the meaning NO.

'Make them get together?'

'And what? Start a brand new fight in two minutes? How delightful,' Adele said.

'Set them up.'

'It's the SAME, idiot,' Adele yelled, slapping Sirius on the head.

'Well, we have to do _something_!' Sirius wailed.

'Exactly. But you were the one who wanted to save your face,' Lily smirked.

'Fine! FINE! I'll just erase their memory, so that they'll have no idea of what they're actually fighting about! There! Problem solved!' Sirius gave them a black scowl and threw his arms in the air.

'COOL!' the Marauders exclaimed in unison. Sirius blinked.

'Pardon?'

'I'm gonna do the spell!' Adele shrieked. Lily shook her head solemnly.

'Nope. I should. My wand's specialty is Charms, remember?'

'Hey, I want to do it, too!' Remus called.

'I'm the leader, so I—'

'You stay off Jimmy!' Sirius said, pushing James away with a shovel. 'You've been having loads of leader specials! After all, I'm the genius who suggested it, so… I AM DOING IT!!!!!!'

'Hey, I want to use that memory charm too!' James retorted. 'Lily's been using charms too much, so I suggest we vote her off!'

'Support!' Remus said at once.

'Me too!' Sirius cried.

'Me three,' Adele added.

'No, no, no!' Lily wailed. 'I can't be out! No!'

'Okay, Lily darling is ruled out!' James said cheerfully as Lily gave him a sour glare. 'And since Sirius came up with the dorky idea of helping Poppy, he's out, too!'

'Aye!' Remus grinned.

'Off with him!' Adele cried.

'Noooooooooo!' Sirius yelled.

'Hah!'

Lily pouted. 'James doesn't have the right to do anything, because he doesn't approve Sirius's idea in the first place.'

'Yay! Go Lily!' Sirius cheered.

'Woohoo!' Adele agreed.

'I support!!!!' Remus said eagerly. So eagerly that it was almost a squeal. Lily gave James a sweet smile. James fumed.

'Alright, it's between the two of us now,' Remus said, facing Adele. The raven headed girl clenched her fingers as she brought her violet eyes to face Remus'.

'I'm not going to lose, Lupin!'

James just sighed. 'On your mark… get set… go!!!' James cried. 'First to move is first to lose!'

Remus and Adele's face were immediately set straight and completely frozen. Only their eyes blinked. Lily, James and Sirius busied themselves by pulling faces in front of their friends, sometimes exchanging jokes that were hardly even jokes to begin with. Sirius produced a feather to tickle Adele with.

Yep, it's the "who laughed first is the biggest loser" game by the Marauders, in which the players will have to keep a perfectly straight face (blinking, heart-beating, thinking and breathing is excused) until one of them decided to give up. The Marauders would usually set their mind on something to avoid getting distracted.

Adele was losing pretty badly. Remus was engrossed with his werewolf transformation two days ago. Adele never had much experience in this stupid pointless game.

And with Lily and James miming Tally and Dan's fights isn't helping Adele's already struggled situation at all. Besides, her nose itched!!!

Lily bonked James on his head with her wand and James yelled back, saying something along the lines of "Wands are used for EATING, not HITTING!" They remind the smaller girl a lot like Punch and Judy. She couldn't take it anymore. Her muscles are aching. Her nose is itching terribly. And the need to laugh is bursting from within her… ARGH!!!!!!

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!' Adele laughed, clutching at her sides and scratching her nose at the same time.

'Lose!' James proclaimed, pointing at Adele.

'Guess Remus'll have to do it, then,' Lily said. 'Good luck, Moony! Don't be too moony when placing the charm, or something'll go wrong. Somehow.'

Remus continued to stare blankly ahead, eyes bulging like a goldfish's.

'Hey Remus,' James said, waving his wand before Remus. A snoring sound was heard from the fair headed boy. The Marauders gaped.

'I don't believe it! He fell ASLEEP????' Adele gasped. 'With his eyes open?'

'Well, that's possible,' Lily said. 'Fishes do that.'

'So we can call him Fishy instead of Moony, then,' Sirius giggled, finding that hilariously funny.

'Hey, wake up,' James said, shaking Remus violently.

'Argh, no! Don't come near me! HELP! S.O.S.!!' Remus yelled. He focused his stinging eye then said, casually, 'what? Ah? Where's the werewolf?'

'Remus, did you know that you had just won a trip to the SMHFW? It's a free ticket,' Adele said sweetly.

'Huh? What SM what?'

'St. Mungo's.'

'Actually, no. When did I?'

'That's not our point,' Lily said with a dismissive wave. 'You're doing the memory charm on Tally and Dan. Adele laughed.'

Remus's face brightened. 'I am? Really? Whoopeeee!!!!!!!!!! I'll better find them now!'

'Bye bye Fishy—err, _Moony_!' Sirius called.

**

Remus threw the Infirmary door open in the Marauders' grand way and was greeted by insults, yells, more insults, flying items such as kettles and lamps, and the faint medicine smell the Infirmary usually held. Madam Pomfrey had a look of utter horror on her young face as she ducked the flying side-desk. Remus whistled in amusement. This is fun.

Whoosh! A huge lamp narrowly missed Remus's hair by a few milimetres.

Then again, it's not.

'Hello Poppy Pomfrey!' Remus greeted the matron happily. Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at Remus.

'What do you want this time?' she said sourly. Each time Remus visited the Infirmary, it is either to: a) bring some patients in, courtesy of his friends' hexes or b) take some of her extra herbs and potions to experiment on them.

'Help you.'

Blink blink. Now that's not Remus. 'Huh?' Pomfrey said, hoping that she sounded intelligent because she don't feel smart about it at all.

'Obliviate!' Remus cried, pointing his wand at Tally and Dan, who are now hurling pillows and blankets all over. He missed his targets, though, and the beam emitted rocketed towards a stray brow outside the window and hit it. Two seconds later, the crow slammed onto the castle walls.

'YOU FAT MONSTER!' Dan cried, totally ignoring Remus's presence.

'YOU TWO-TIMING GIT!' Tally shrieked just as passionately.

'Alright, calm it Remus,' Remus muttered to himself. 'Stop the time. Yep. Use magic. Now, what's the word again? Stop!—uh, tops—no… Tosp—err…'

'I thought you're here to stop them,' Madam Pomfrey gasped, crouching behind the cupboard.

'I can't remember the right word! Aaah! I get it! It's _SOPT_!!!_'_ Remus said brightly, snapping his fingers. Instantly, everything turned stone. Remus smiled broadly at his own cleverness.

He aimed his wand at Tally's brain and murmured 'Obliviate' before doing the same to Dan.

Once the shimmer faded, Remus pulled out a marker pen and began doodling on their faces. Hah, that's what happens if you ignore me, Remus the Great! Mwahahaha!

'Estrore!' Remus whispered as everything shook back to life.

'Ah? Huh? What am I doing?' Tally said blankly. 'Where am I? Who're you?'

'I'm Dan Trevor. First year Gryffindor. Who're _you_?'

'Tally Chapman. The same.'

'Uh-oh,' Remus mumbled uncertainly.

'I take it that you hadn't mastered your spell—yet,' Madam Pomfrey said disapprovingly with a glare.

'Ah… quite, um, true…'

The nurse sighed. Well, at least they weren't fighting anymore. That was the deal anyway. Now, time to brew a good, strong potion to remind them of at least which year the two idiots are in…

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AN: first off, I might as well just tell the truth and not tell everyone a lie that read along the lines of "My computer went BOOM and my brother decided not to give me any privacy at all," although it's true :) still, it sounds pathetic, so I'm telling you another truth:  
Almost every time I type this chapter to the half of its pages, the computer hangs, the screen went bzzt [literally—I'm telling the truth! It sounds like some super buzzing mosquito!] and all my work for an hour is wiped off by a little restart my computer decided to have.

Also, I had to do some things for school. Play, choral-speaking, sports, yadda yadda yadda, bla bla bla and so on so forth ^_^ it's the truth. Then I had a severe wave of depression which nearly caused me to suicide *gasp* bunny is going to die…!!!

Boring. Okay, I guess that's all! Sorry about the delay! Tally and Dan were arguing nonsense in my head for a month.

~* **bunny chan**


	8. Cat Out Of The Bag

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Misty: sorry, laziness has a price of its own :P YES, I do prefer to call you Misty for short!!!! [mwahaha] anyway, you hadn't died of depression yet. Need help? *grins broadly* anyway, you'd BETTER send me that fic so I can see where we're at now!

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Lady Louisa: NOT best author, NOT good author, YES bad author, YES worst author…

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Taracollowen: glad you liked it!! Arguments good? Maybe weird would fit :P

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SAKURAnTOKYO: I got the chapter up!! :) are you going to tell me that you can't wait for the next chapter again?

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Milkyweed: a chapter not being hilarious? Neither can I. Maybe. But it could be because my memory is short :P

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Cristina: Fishy is Moony and Moony is Fishy! Should we call Remus Fishy or should we call him Moony?

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Hermione2: *bows elegantly, Marauder style* my pleasure! Hope you didn't have a tummy ache from laughing too much! I was laughing at my friends and their Valley Girl Syndrome until my cheeks hurt and I had to put ice on them!

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QueenOfTheQueer: how did you hiccup and talk at the same time?? I never could manage it!

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CherryBlossomz008: HAIL TO THE MARAUDERS!!!!! Lol :P if they actually live forever and ever, the world will soon see destruction!

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Rini: if I kill myself, I won't let ANYONE take it over *grins* why? Because I would have written the whole thing already on paper and get my darling friend MT to type it out and post it for me—it's all on my will! But really, I haven't written all yet, meaning that I won't die anytime soon. Want me to die? Aw, too bad! It's a _fors fortis_ if I ever do ^^

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~*Crystal Lily*~: wanna see them [Tally & Dan] get married??? :D I do!!! And I can't wait to see how cluttered up the household will be! Mwahaha!

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Ashlynn Black: Not first years—they THINK they are :)

To those who'd never reviewed but sent me mails and messages:

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Peter: Conversation… do you always come online at this time? :)

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Andria: Don't scare me again!!!!!!!! And have I ever mentioned that your name almost resembles a certain friend of imagination of mine?

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Pschan: gomen ne, I haven't had ICQ installed in my old computer [the one I'm using at the moment]

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Noelle: BLEH!!!!! ^_-

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Sweet Thang: sorry!!! I was too busy!!!!

Disclaimer: Aliens, parallel universes, angels and whatsoever don't belong to me at all, so how do you even expect something as good as Harry Potter to be mine??? See, exactly my point!

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The Marauding Five : Year Six

Chapter 8: Cat Out Of The Bag

Sirius yawned tiredly in the sixth year class of Arts and Crafts. All sixth years are required to take two new classes with choices of Arts and Crafts, Wonders of the World, Political Issues, and Muggle Theories.

Arts and Crafts is, well, arts and crafts. Wonders of the world centres on the geographical state of the Earth or whatever that has to do with Geography in the Muggle world. Political Issues is self-explanatory. Muggle Theories are all about the muggles' theories on science, world, galaxy and the universe in general.

The Marauders had picked Arts and Crafts and Muggle Theories, being lazy wizards and witches that they are.

Arts by Professor Krishna Vart, an oriental man was… interesting. For the first few lessons anyway. After three lessons of the same dull jokes and continuous rants on his Asian culture, Sirius began feeling the effects of sleeping in class.

Who cares how you make a stupid pottery anyway? It's not like anyone would know the difference if he magicked it out of thin air! But _no_…! Professor Vart said that art must take time and patience!

Hah. Like he, Supreme Sirius Black, has any patience to spare!

'Hey James,' Sirius said, turning to his friend. James snored peacefully in reply. Sirius pinched the boy's face. No effect. Sirius ran his quill's feather on James's cheeks, hoping to tickle him to wake. Still no effect.

'I swear, you'd die sleeping someday,' Sirius muttered, getting bored. He turned to the lycantrope on his left. 'Remus. Hey Lupin, get up.'

Unlike James (or maybe the opposite of James…? Well, in a way), Remus got up easily. He blinked blearily at Sirius. 'Whaddyou want? Pranks? Dungbombs? None to spare today.'

'Wake Adele up,' Sirius instructed. Remus grudgingly shook Adele harshly. Sirius turned to Lily, who was next to James. He pulled out his wand and prodded on Lily's head with it.

'OW!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE **NOT** SUPPOSED TO POKE MY HEAD WITH A WAND???? MY HEAD MIGHT GET _ALTERED_ AND I'LL TURN STUPID, YOU DUMB DOG! OR HADN'T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO OUR FIRST YEAR BOOK, CHAPTER ONE WHICH READ IN BOLD OLD ENGLISH FONT "INTRODUCTION TO WANDS"???' Lily shrieked, jumping to full wake, her green eyes blazing with fire.

'Actually, no. I kind of skipped that chapter.'

Professor Vart and about half of the class looked up at her.

'Haha, you'd just indicated that you slept in his class!' Sirius whispered gleefully. Lily glared.

'Miss Evan, have you been—'

'Sleeping. Yes, I have, but we're learning about Arts, aren't we?' Lily said, putting on a sweet angelic smile. Sirius and Remus cackled silently.

'Exactly, Miss Evans, but—'

'Sleeping,' Lily started solemnly with great stress, 'is also an art. Which is _why_ our creator made us able to sleep. I'm sure nature sleep too, right? Right? Yep, I knew it.' Lily hadn't really waited for a reply - she'd just made up her own conclusion. 'So do we. Sleeping is a sacred art in which you mind, soul and body is well rested and far, far away from the hustle world we live in. also, it…'

'She sure has a theory pretty fast,' Remus mused in amusement.

'I don't believe a single word that she say at all,' Sirius said flatly. Remus rolled his eyes.

'When do we?'

'My point exactly. Anyway, if she convinced Professor _Wart_, we might all have the privilege of sleeping for the next four weeks in this lesson.'

'Which is also a good thing,' Remus chirped, staring at the sleeping James and Adele. 'We're all sleepy.'

'…so that's why sleeping _should_ be an art. No. Wait, I rephrase it. It **is** an art, only that not many practise it,' Lily concluded after five minutes. She turned her bright green eyes at the teacher imploringly. 'Don't you agree with me?'

Vart seemed to be thinking pensively. Finally, he said in his Indian accent, 'You are correct, Miss Evans! You have an exclusive point! Beautiful!' Turning to the class, he announced, 'Alright class, we will be practising the noble, forgotten art of sleeping in the next few weeks!'

'Great job, Lily!' Sirius cheered. Lily merely plopped back into her seat, placed her arm on the table and slept almost at once.

'I think she did it for the sake of herself,' Adele said tiredly, rubbing her eyes. 'She was up last night, doing Merlin Knows what.'

'Oh? And pray, how did thou come to hold such knowledge?'

'She wasn't in her bed.'

'Neither was James,' Remus added. 'How could they possibly ransacked the kitchens without us???'

Sirius frowned. 'How come I didn't notice anything?'

'Because you were snoring like a pig,' Remus cackled.

'Ssh! Sleep!' Vart hissed. Sirius rolled his eyes.

'Yes, Professor Wart,' Sirius said sarcastically before lying on his table face down, nonsensical questions swimming in his head.

**

'Helloooo!!! James!!!!' a child's voice called in a singsong manner. The portrait door burst open and a little girl of five with wavy red hair skipped into the room.

All Gryffindors present in the common room stared at her formlessly, thoughts racing across their minds. Who is this kid? What is she doing here? And how in the name of brave Godric did she get past the Fat Lady anyway?? That crappy old painting wouldn't allow anyone in without the password!

'What are you doing here, kid?' HeadGirl Millie-Dint said in a rather annoyed tone.

'Where's James?' the smaller girl demanded. 'I'm here to find James! WHERE IS MY JAMES???'

Millie-Dint was about to make a smart comment about the hated Marauders of Hogwarts when James's head popped out of the fireplace suddenly. A few second years who were gathered there for their project shrieked out in shrill tones. Lily, Sirius, Remus and Adele's heads followed after.

'Did someone call?' James asked, stepping out.

'You would've thought he heard it,' muttered a second year to his friend.

'Yeah. It sailed all the way to the detention room, didn't you know?' Sirius grinned. 'We have super ears!!!!!'

'Sure you do…'

'Why, yes I do! Thanks!'

'No you don't!'

'You just said I do.' The second year shook his head. In annoyance of not being believed, Sirius tossed a dungbomb at him.

'James!!!!!!!! I miss you darling!' the "kid" cried, running to him.

'In Merlin's name, what on earth is _Tessie_ doing here???' Lily yelled in horror, recognising the girl almost at once. Once a nightmare, always a nightmare. Tessie was Lily's only living walking nightmare, besides the other premonitions her kindly Inner Eye had sent through her dreams.

'How'd she get the password?' Adele said distastefully. She had hardly any liking for the rude, half-banshee, adopted _Princess Tessie _of Neptune's kingdom in the sea, joined to the Hogwarts lake.

'Who's she again?' Sirius said blankly.

'The girl we terrorised a couple of months ago. Remember Neptune?' Adele said.

'Ohh. THAT spoilt brat.'

'I'm NOT a spoil brat!' Tessie yelled hotly, hugging James even tightly.

'Unfortunately, you are,' Lily said. 'Too bad. Hah.'

'I'll have you beheaded!' Tessie snapped before shutting her mouth hurriedly. Lily isn't the kind of person you can yell death threats with, amongst all the Marauders.

'Well, can you please get her out?' Millie-Dint frowned.

'No! I'm here to take James as my servant!' Tessie said, throwing her head proudly as if it's the smartest thing she had ever thought of. Which could be. The Marauders and all the listening Gryffindors coughed loudly.

'Excuse me?'

'Yep!' Tessie grinned triumphantly.

'Do you mean your, um, what was it again?' Remus asked, choking behind giggles.

'Servant. Like mummy and daddy!' Sirius was turning purple from the laughing gas in him.

'You mean _husband_?' he gasped.

'Yes, that is it.' Sirius, Remus and Adele burst out laughing. Lily stared ahead calmly. James was, well, horrified.

'You HAVE got to be kidding!!!' Adele giggled, 'I mean it's impossible!!!! Totally unheard of!! Ha ha ha! James – haha – you have a new – hahaha – girlfriend!'

The image of James being a husband was absurd.

'Um…' was all James could say.

'Tessie, you _can't_!!!' Sirius laughed. 'I mean, **_James is engaged!_**'

The last word caught the whole house's attention at once. The spectators were now looking very, very interested. The most interested is probably the Gryffindor sixth years. Tally, Nina, Pertsy, Sita, Dan and Thomas were gaping and, should a bee be looking for its beehive, would have flown into their mouth.

Remus and Adele stopped laughing at once. Sirius, seeing as he's the only one laughing, stopped too. A deadly silence followed.

'Um, what?' Sirius said at last.

'You're in big trouble,' Adele muttered. 'Really big. Best I can do is wish you luck.'

'What? What did I just say?'

'JAMES IS ENGAGED?????? TO WHOM??????' Dan yelled at once.

'Unbelievable! So young!' Michael Joht gasped. Millie-Dint tapped his shoulder.

'Speaking of which, you never proposed to me,' Millie-Dint pouted.

'Er…'

'Who's James engaged to?' Pastilla Thore squealed. 'Tell us, tell us!'

'Lily,' Sirius replied automatically. The Gryffindors gasped.

Remus shook his head sadly at his friend's prompt respond. The disadvantages of spontaneity and distractions… sigh… Sirius, Sirius: open mouth, insert foot and dungbombs.

'Surely- surely not Lily Evans???' Nina cried, pointing at Lily, who was currently looking very white. Either she's slow at catching up or is racing through her quick brain at how to murder Sirius Black. Chances are that it is the latter.

'Is there ANY other Lily?' Sirius replied sarcastically. Adele and Remus could sense their friend's stupidity aura clearly now. If it were to put to a contest of "Universal Award of Dumbness," it would win the grand prize for more than 50 years in a row.

'Really? You mean, James proposed to her and stuff???' Pertsy said happily. She cast a look at Lily. 'But Lily isn't wearing any ring…'

'Oh, that. It's—'

'Just a joke,' Adele interrupted hastily, noticing Lily and James's seemingly murderous face. It seems like they have found out how to kill their life-long friend.

'Yes!' Remus added before Sirius could object. 'Lily isn't even wearing any ring now, is she? Nope!'

'James can be my darling husband,' Tessie said brightly, pulling a face at Lily.

'Actually, no,' James said with disgust, pushing Tessie away.

'You're mine, James! You can't say no!' Tessie said stubbornly. Lily, who had just recollected herself from her flaring anger, rolled her eyes in a dramatic way and burst out laughing.

'What are you laughing at?' Tally said. 'Your boyfriend's SUFFERING and you're letting him go JUST LIKE THAT?'

'Sirius,' Lily choked in a hiccuping manner, 'and all of you. You seriously believe that this is actually some novel in making, huh?'

'Sort of,' Neyl Francois said cheerfully. 'I'm noting this in my notes! And I'll write it! It's a story in making!' 

'Tessie, get off me! I'm not gonna marry _you_ of all humans in the world! I don't even want to marry anyone at all!' James said franticly.

'But James _is_ marrying Lily!' Sirius protested.

'No I'm not! There's such thing as free speech and it'll all depend on ME!' Lily retorted.

'Your mum won't be pleased about that,' Adele said.

'Hah. Like I care. She can kick me out anytime she likes to now!' Lily said with a smug smile. 'Because sooner or later, they'll be living with us!'

'Oh? How?' Remus said.

'Get off me Tessie!'

'The Marauders have their problems…' Neyl scribbled. 

'Lily, no matter you like it or not…'

'THIS IS A FREE WORLD, SIRIUS! SHUT UP BEFORE I REALLY MURDER YOU!'

'The Marauders argue and argue… Neyl Francois writes this down eagerly to be written as a story in future…'

'TESSIE! GET OFF ME!'

'What exactly is happening???' Millie-Dint yelled loudly. 'I'm so confuse!' Naturally, HeadGirl always have a say in everything. So does Millie-Dint.

'Lily and James are OFFICIALLY engaged,' Sirius announced. 'So stay off those two friends of mine, or answer to ME.' He produced several poisonous looking potion vials from his pockets threateningly.

'Yes. Go on.'

'James is mine! Lily'll be beheaded!' Tessie cried, eager at the thought of ridding Lily.

'I'm not an item!' James yelled. 'And no one kills Lily _that_ easily!'

'Oh? Because you'll run in to save her first? How sweet,' Tally cooed.

'Next,' Millie-Dint sighed.

'I am NOT engaged to James Potter!' Lily shrieked. 'I'll poison whomever who propose to me!'

'Any more?'

'I'm writing a story of this!' Neyl said eagerly, waving her notebook.

'Is that all?'

'SIRIUS IS GOING TO DIE SOON!!!!!!!!' Remus and Adele chimed. 'Thanks to his big, fat mouth. Hah!'

'That'll be a relief to the universe if all you Marauders die,' Millie-Dint said wanly. 'And I guess that's just all then. Very well. Say Michael, what about us?'

'Huh?' Michael said dumbly. Millie-Dint sent him a glare. The boy fumbled. 'Uh, oh, um… Millie-Dint, my dear, sweet friend – um, _girlfriend_! – and supporter of many years, my source of happiness, will you marry me?'

'There's no ring, no flower and no traditional down-on-one-knee,' Terrykinns Splatters commented. 'Man, how can you live through that, Millie?'

'He's got a point, dear,' the Gryffindor HeadGirl sighed. Her boyfriend thought for a while before pulling a flower from the vase and transfigures the vase into a ring. The boy went down on the traditional down-on-one-knee, held out the ring and flower, and repeated what he had said with less stammers and stutters.

'So will you?' Michael asked hopefully.

'Thanks!' Millie-Dint squealed, taking the flower and the ring.

'Millie! Will you or will you not?'

'It's a custom that should the girl receive the gifts offered, it means that she accepts the proposal,' Sita said. She paused uncertainly. 'I'm right, aren't I?'

'I… guess so,' Millie-Dint said. The Gryffindors cheered loudly (Tessie-James incident is forgotten for a moment—a moment!)s as Millie-Dint pecked shyly on Michael's cheeks. The boy flushed.

'James, won't you do that to me too?' Tessie asked, turning her dull green eyes at him. Her eyes rather reminded James of Lily. But lily's green eyes are bright and had that evil glint (especially when it comes to devising various cruel jokes). He studied her a little longer. Tessie's wavy red hair rivalled Lily's, though the latter's one always swept in curls at her ankles, thanks to Lily's fear of cutting hair.

'Sorry, nope, out of your mind. Like I said, mess with either of them and receive my potion!' Sirius said at once, rushing to James's rescue though not intended.

AIEEEE……………! The ear-piercing wail of the banshee filled the room with its torturous note.

'You do as I say,' Tessie said sharply. 'Or I'll scream again!'

Sirius, without another word, emptied one of his vials into her mouth.

'What is that?' Adele asked curiously.

'Takes place in 24 hours,' Sirius said with smug confidence, 'It's a spell to place a near death curse on her.'

'24 hours?! We want it to work NOW, ding-dong!' Remus said.

'Well ding-dong! I'd like to see a potion of curse to work in five minutes!' Sirius retorted. 'But still, she'll encounter AT LEAST 15 near death experiences after 24 hours.'

'Any deaths?' Adele said hopefully.

'No.'

'Ah,' Lily said. 'That's too bad. We can't help that either, I guess. Or else, Sirius'll end up in a place called Azkaban, far far away from us. But that's even better, since he deserves to be placed there.'

'Come on James, propose to me!' Tessie ordered, doing her best at ignoring the stench Sirius's foul potion gave out.

'HAH! Like I will,' James countered. 'I don't even like you! Besides, as Sirius had oh-so-kindly yelled out, though he'll die because of it soon, I am engaged to Lily Evans.' By the looks on Lily's face, once she's done with Sirius, James would be next to die. 

'You proposed?' Thomas gaped. 'I mean, I thought Lily was going to poison whomever who dare propose to her, right?'

'I didn't,' James nodded in sour agreement.

'But you said—'

'Our stupid, mindless parents did the job, happy???? I'm actually betrothed to HIM!' Lily screeched.

'Aaah… case of child abuse,' Neyl scribbled.

'How perfectly true,' Adele said. 'I'm so glad you understood that.'

'James, propose to me! NOW!' Tessie shrieked, letting out another string of the sad, haunting cry.

'Get off with it, Tessie!' James retorted. 'I don't like you! I like Lily way much more than I like you—ooops!!!' The last remark had rather slipped out unintentionally. Tessie flared.

'Oh yeah??? Then prove it!' the five-year-old girl yelled smugly, positively sure that James won't. James promised to curse this oddly intelligent girl.

'Uh…'

'Yeah, prove it!' Tally said, seeing it as a rare opportunity. How often is it that you get to hear confessions from the heart—from the Marauders? Less than the appearance of blue moons. The other Gryffindors seem to get the message, too.

'Go on, Potter, how do you prove it?'

'Are you SURE about this, James?'

'He might be lying, Kate.'

'Potter isn't proving anything, I bet.'

'Prove it!'

'I very well will, then!' James fumed.

'Are you sure?' Remus asked worriedly. 'Lily's going to personally rearrange your face! Besides, things weren't very clear among the two of you! You don't really love her and vice versa…'

'You're going to do it?' Adele said in disbelief. 'Not for your pride!'

'We can very well prove to our parents that we're not stupid!' Sirius said brightly. 'Go James! Go James!'

'Well?' Tally said with a mocking eyes. 'Prove it, James Potter.'

Adele chewed her nails as James marched towards the horror-stricken Lily (who hadn't got over the shock of James announcing that he'll prove it, whatever that prove it is) and dragged her to the middle of the common room. Tessie glared at Lily but wisely kept her mouth shut.

Remus kicked Sirius.

'You're suppose to hide it idiot!'

'I am?'

'YES!'

'So…?'

'Now Lily's going to kill James… maybe skin him alive.'

'Ulp.' Sirius gulped, realising suddenly all the chaos his subconscious and blur self had caused.

As James leaned over to kiss Lily on the lips, Adele, Remus and Sirius hid their eyes behind their hands, not willing to see what Lily is going to do at all.

Lily MIGHT kill James. She always kill people (not literally) she hate intensely, but it's hard to tell about her childhood friends.

'So hah! Does that prove it???' James yelled aloud.

The only reply was wolf-whistles, whoops, sighs, cat-calls and the such echoing the large common room. The red carpeted floor shook and rumbled violently as the Gryffindors jump and stamp excitedly. Tessie's face had a look of wild disbelief and loathing. Adele, Sirius and Remus sighed in relief, wiping off an imaginary sweat off their forehead. Lily… well…

'Potter, I am going to kill you. You see if I don't.' However, she seemed to be more of at the verge of laughing at Tessie's horrified face. Hah, that'll teach that no good brat!

'Try it,' James grinned.

Tessie let out another blood curling shriek. 'I don't believe it! It's fake!'

'Eat that, youngster,' Adele snickered.

Professor McGonagall was strolling past the Fat Lady, dreaming about invisible butterflies, pastures and fat jolly cows when she was rudely interrupted by what seemed like ten action-packed Quidditch Pitch stadiums combined to form an earthquake by the scale of 9. Curious and disturbed, she climbed into the portrait hole after giving the password ('Huge Rampaging Elephants'), and wondering why didn't Millie-Dint, her trusted, sensible HeadGirl, did nothing to stop such a loud racket.

Her most hated brilliant prefects in all of Hogwarts, standing in the middle, were hugging each other in a considerably cute way (McGonagall HAD to admit that). A barely six-year-old kid was throwing tantrums and insults left and right and Adele was mercilessly trying some of Zonko's new products on her.

The rest of the house, much to McGonagall's amusement, was chanting something about James and Lily. It was quite a blur, really.

After several seconds of staring mutely and analysing it all, the professor had finally concluded the fact that James and Lily are now a couple.

Horror of all horrors. Those two are a COUPLE already??? If they ever have a kid (hopefully, not, McGonagall mumbled silently), it will certainly mean the end of her life. Joy.

On the other hand, there wasn't anything wrong with it anyway. There are couples all over the school, some even younger than sixteen. Besides, half of them are merely flings and crushes. But James and Lily being couple sounds hilarious. Two mental students trying to get everything in pieces…!

McGonagall hid a smile and left, making a mental note to herself to send a card to Rose Evans. She might do something drastic. After all, it **WOULD** be undeniably funny to see Lily and her mother arguing and twisting all sorts of things! The mother-daughter relationship was never good.

Yep. Mrs.Evans and Mrs.Potter are in for it. Lily and James are sure to suffer.

And with that happy "evil" thought, Professor McGonagall hummed and skipped off along the corridor.

**

'About time, official couple,' James said, gripping his broom tightly. Since the beach and an orangey sunset to end a romantic sort-of day isn't available at Hogwarts, the "official" couple had decided to fly on James's broom—with hopes that it wouldn't collapse like the lastone.

'It's about time my mother actually gets her wish come true,' Lily said sarcastically. 'Either our dear friends—Adele, Remus and Sirius—send her a little letter of congratulations or Tally will. The things they do just to place stress on me.'

'What about not marrying me, huh? You said that just now: I'll choose whom I want to marry, not mum!'

'Wishful thinking,' Lily muttered. 'I'll poison anyone who proposes to me.'

'In which no one will,' James smirked. 'And it's the same anyway.'

'No it's not! I mean, you don't call pink green or green pink, do you? Or 56 is alike 65, right?'

'We're talking about choosing fiancés,' James reminded, steering the broom towards the castle.

'Yeah right,' Lily said, rolling her eyes. Suddenly, her eyes glimmered. 'I have a plan on what to do to Tessie!'

The Marauders had kicked the snobby princess into the lake harshly, placing a sort of detector on her beloved tiara so as to 'connect' her to them. That way, they can curse her or hex her just by muttering the password and the spell.

'Oh?'

'Yep! We'll make her dance on the royal feast, sleep in for breakfast, stuff herself round during lunch and skip everywhere she goes,' Lily said brightly. 'And she'll have sore feet!'

'Maybe we can get her to dress in a clown's outfit, too,' James suggested, 'and doing cartwheels in water sounds like fun!'

They flew across the lake and heard wails, yells (possibly from Neptune and Glippers…?) and a whole lot of strong ripples and splashes on the water's surface. It seems like Tessie is receiving spankings of some sort. Or maybe going through one of her near-death experiences, judging the banshee wail.

Lily and James laughed mercilessly before entering the castle doors. That was lovely.

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AN: let's see… sports. bunny chan is in for SPORTS. her running and hopping ability actually came to use o_O now isn't that scary? Oh well, wish me bad luck for Monday!!!

I was in a rush when typing this, probably cause I was half yawning and half typing to other people on my messenger :P conversing when writing is NOT fun!

I'm looking for excuses again… ugh…


	9. Whirl Fiasco

Glacial Phoenix Mystiara: thanks for reading my friend's work! ^_^ *hugs Misty* and don't be a hated prefect!!!!!!! :D 

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Milkyweed: I confuse you? So sorry! *laughs* I get confused myself, when someone jumps right in on me suddenly O_o oh, sorry, I'm… not making any sense, am I? Blame it on the many of them in my head, making a complete chaos in there!

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Me: glad you wanted more ^_^ I'm happy that you liked this!

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SAKURAnTOKYO: er, how did I guess that you wanted more…? My psychic powers isn't responding to me these few months, so it should be pure luck, then :P

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Snickers Lambchops: neat name!!! *grins* it's okay about not reviewing—I understand that perfectly! And I'm not planning to stop writing anytime yet, so you needn't worry over it ^^

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LiannesLily: Good idea!! James OUGHT to carry an antidote in his pocket!! *beams* but Lily won't be pleased about it ^_^ *points at Lily, who was scowling blackly*

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QueenOfTheQueer: gee, _I_ wish I'm multi-talented! So far, I can only write stories, poems and draw! NOT fun _ why? Because I'm not good at any of those. *tries to hiccups and talk at the same time* -hic-hic-hic- *twists her tongue* yow!

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Ashlynn Black: you know, I like your name! :) it could be because I like the letters n and y and l in the name ^_^ my name and initials consist of those three letters, not counting my English name!

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Hermione2: hey, I'd be glad if I even get 5 reviews!!!!! O_o talk about pathetic! I think my stories are crap, too ^_^ that's just the way it is! I think they're stupid but I adore them all the same. I must be some maniac *wanders off muttering about needing extra pills*

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Cristina: oh, I'm sure Minnie would be stupendously happy when Harry was born! *laughs* hey, it's not everyday that you have a baby defeating a great Dark Lord that's 60+ years old!

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Crystal Lily: *blinks* Tessie has red hair and green eyes like Lily? Now I didn't notice that! Oh well, I'll just have to pretend now that I'm doing it deliberately :P [ssh! I'm trying to save my face here! Keep it a secret, will you? ^_-]

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Hayley Granda Potter: well, the search engine always gave me THAT type of result: it find you everything but what you're really looking for! *nods* believe me, it worked that way for me, too!!!

Disclaimer: Never bet that this is mine, for it is not—quote Crystal Raindrops

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The Marauding Five : Year Six

Chapter 9: Whirl Fiasco

'Okay, so we have to write two rolls of parchment on … GRIFFINS?!' Anna Hopkins's shrill voice rang.

'Exactly so, Miss Hopkins,' Professor Kettleburn replied with a clear a-hem. 'ALL about Griffins, and more if possible. Two parchments long, and I strongly demand that you put very much effort in it.'

'But that's _impossible_!' Serene Tappers protested. 'I mean, this book hasn't even got much info on them! And you want us to be smarter than Mr. Newt??' She waved her copy of Fantastic Beasts in her hand.

'She's right. It covers barely even… um, one-fifth of the page,' Thomas Macmillan added, flipping his book over. 'How are WE – innocent students of sixth years (poor poor us…) – going to write two parchments? It doesn't make sense.'

'I can!' Adele called. 'Griffins are cousins to Hippogriffs, originates from Greece, eats—' She paused. Then stared at Professor Kettleburn's arm, which was in a sling.

'What is it?' Dan Trevor queried at her silence.

'Somehow, Prof, I don't see your arm as raw meat to the Griffins. It looked more like raw human meat. I thought they were allergic to human meat,' Adele said, frowning in puzzlement.

Kettleburn's arm had a big – and by big, it does mean BIG – piece of flesh was bitten off by the new Griffin, Shanay, whom he was training. Or at least, he was _trying_ to train. Shanay wouldn't even spare him a breath.

The man in front of the classroom scowled. 'Just do that homework, Varens! We shall see how intelligent you come to be, then.'

'Ten to one that he wants to find a way to punish the poor creature,' Sirius whispered, grinning. 'Ten galleons.'

'Twenty galleons,' James offered, 'that he will give marks to those who wrote in about ways to punish a Griffin. Poor Shanay, the Slytherins will help Kettleburn to those.'

**

Remus frowned deeply at his parchment. He had written only one-tenth of the piece in his tiny handwriting, and couldn't find anything else to stuff in. Besides, he's in the Society Prevention of Cruelty Towards Magical Beasts and Creatures. He simply couldn't bring himself to write about way on how to torture griffins—no! That psycho president (yes, that man is a psycho when it comes to his cause, so maybe that's why he's chosen for the spot…?) might tie him to be fed to his pet dragon, which is a good way to help "preserve the non-extinction of the dragons," according to Mr.President.

'This is deliberate CRUELTY!' Adele shrieked. 'It's not fair that Professor Kettleburn is torturing Shanay! He's a CMC teacher, for Merlin's books and hats! How could he???'

'Someone implied that she can write two parchments of essay on Griffins,' Lily said casually, flipping her potions textbook to figure out the ingredients.

'Yeah. "I know ALL about Griffins!"' James quipped in a high pitched voice.

'Well I DO. It's only that I can't bear to put in those evil tortures and punishments et cetera!' Adele retorted.

'There's got to be something more than just punishments and ways to mistreating, right?' Sirius said, dusting his bed. It was positively collecting dust, unlike his four friends' neat NEW beds in that Hideout of theirs. His was the only one with little teddy bears printed on its childishly coloured baby blue sheets, a flat lumpy pillow, a holey bed and… um… a very, very, _very_ smelly stench. You can literally smell bad cheese and certain bread spreading. It's not a surprise that cockroaches are suffocating and dying under his bed.

He desperately needed a new one. Those with jumpy springs, big drawers beneath it, high down pillows and blue-black sheets.

'You need a better bed,' Remus winced as Sirius chased the dust-mites from his pillow.

'Are you going to pay for it? You do know that my mum took my Gringotts key…' Sirius trailed hopefully.

'Hah! You wish!'

'Yeah, I do.'

'Griffins attack with their steel-like talons,' James murmured, scribbling. 'Usually end up getting killed – er, executed – for their untamed violence. Oops! Strike that…'

'This is so stupid!!!!' Adele shrieked.

'She's losing it, I see,' Lily said intelligently.

'I mean,' Adele continued, 'I don't care a sickle for Kettle-that-Burn and his stupid bitten piece of flesh! What's the big deal anyway? All his pets hate him, for crying out loud!'

'Shanay did take a huge piece of flesh—from someone that's alive,' Remus mumbled.

'This is boredom, still,' Lily huffed, tossing her book aside. 'Like I'll remember how to brew a potion to kill spiders! A mere "pzzt" from the insecticide will do more than enough to me!'

'What if you run out of that?' James asked.

'Well, I'm sure Adele would gladly roast them for me,' Lily retorted. 'She's got a thing with spiders that hasn't anything near to "friends" or "love"!' 

'That's understandable,' Adele nodded cheerfully. 'And speaking of roasting, I think I'm going to train a bit. I can't seem to control that breeze—'

'Gust,' Lily interrupted.

'More like whirlwind!' Sirius cried. 'It's a WHIRLWIND, not a harmless gust or breeze! It destroys literally everything it comes in contact with!'

'Well, it's not my fault that I can't control it YET!' Adele shot.

'Haha,' James laughed, 'are you sure? The last time you practised – that would be two months ago – you blew out shards of ice back on us!'

'Yep. And that was two months ago. You just tried it yesterday and you ended up sending Lily to the Forbidden Forest! Gosh, if Li hadn't her broomstick at that time, she would've been stuck there forever!' Remus added, giggling. Adele gritted her teeth.

'That's what practise is for, morons!'

'Unfortunately, you seem to be getting worse,' Lily smirked.

'I am going to train now. And hopefully throw Kettleburn out of this school,' she muttered, stomping off. 'Mistreatment to magical creatures… griffins…'

'Bye bye!' the Marauders waved.

'Speaking of Griffins, did you read this morning's paper?' Sirius asked, opening his bag latch.

'No. why, did someone just wiped Voldemort from the face of Earth?' James asked excitedly. 'Who is it? Barty Crouch? Dad? Or could it be the just-starting Weasley guy that appeared at out 5th year gathering? Whoa, Voldie must have been degrading his magic!'

'I haven't started, but your divination skills are lousy, still,' Sirius said calmly, unfolding the day's paper. 'It's something about the Wizarding Zoo.'

'We have a zoo?' Lily gaped. 'What's in it? Fwoopers? Trolls? Or could it be a dragon? I thought zoos aren't there to fry people or give them death omens and such!'

'Well yes, they do have those magical creatures,' Remus said.

'WHAT???? You mean they REALLY want to kill visitors?????' Lily and James cried.

'We ought to visit it!' Lily whined.

'And send our darling past lives back to hell,' James added.

'Will you two idiots LISTEN?' Sirius demanded sharply. 'The topic is still GRIFFINS!'

'The news is that two Hippogriffs escaped,' Remus stated.

'Oh. And where's this zoo anyway?' Lily asked.

'Um, somewhere in the south, I think.'

'And the whole point of this Griffin topic is…?'

'It's the season for Hippogriffs to mate, and they're heading North. Really Lily, what IS going on with your senses?' James asked. Lily fumed. She hated being insulted indirectly (In her opinion). And indirect goes as far as calling her senseless (to her).

'That's her rep,' Sirius said with a casual wave. 'Remember, she managed to just scrape her As in Geography during our muggle school years. I bet her Psychic powers at that time helped her peek into other's mind to get those answers.'

'Grr!!!' Lily gritted. 'Get lost, Sirius! I don't want to see you anymore!'

'Sour grape,' Sirius replied, poking his tongue at her. 'Anyway, the Hippogriffs are heading north, and if we're very lucky, they can come to us! And we can capture them! Mwahaha!'

'And get fined,' Remus added. 'You forgot that. You think of useless things, really.'

'It's not useless! Think of it… we can fly!'

'As we can already with out brooms and Psychic powers,' Lily cut resentfully.

'We can have them as pets!'

'Two Yumis (or rather, a family of them), four owls, Remus's dark creatures and our animagi forms are much more than enough of animals and pets,' James said. Sirius remained pensive for a moment.

'We can keep their fewmet,' he suggested, 'and show them off to Hagrid!'

'That's just about it. What's a fewmet?' Remus asked.

'Dung. Hm, maybe we can get Shanay some friends to help torture Kettleburn!' Sirius said brightly. His friends shook their head with a sigh. Sirius equal to Hopeless.

**

Meanwhile, Adele was busy trying to control that breeze—no, gust – NO! it's a whirlwind – wait, REPHRASE! A **tornado**—from destroying too many of Lily's ancient spell books. Somehow, due to odd circumstances, her powers had gone the extra mile today. Actually, it went two miles further.

'No! please, not the ones on "Teaching Dummies Black Magic"!' Adele cried as the wind swallowed the falling pages.

I'm going to be so over when Lily sees this mess…! Better, I might be skinned and buried alive! Or maybe…

No, knowing Lily, it'll be torture first. That thought isn't really inspiring either. Not to mention that those books were found from the Potters' library, and rare, at that. Oh no, Remus had been careful to make copies. She's just a bit safer now.

'Stop! Stop, I command you!' Adele cried desperately at the hungry tornado. 'Um, I'll get you some spagetthi! And- and some fries! Just _STOP DESTROYING THOSE BOOKS_!'

It ignored her. Naturally.

'STOP!!! STOP, STOP, _STOP_!' Adele yelled shrilly. 'I'm going to be dead soon! I said, STOP IT!!!!!!'

The tornado paused, and seem to turn, as if to stare at her. And then in a short moment, maddened, it grew ten times its size.

'NOO!!!!!! You're _ruining_ this place!' the raven headed girl shrieked. The tornado tripled its size, literally destroying everything in its way (Adele, its maker, being the exceptional survivor) and swallowing everything there is. Adele stared in pure horror as it drilled itself out of the room and to the other side of the hidden door.

Never mind the Marauders. She had a feeling that she'll be in school suspension or due for expulsion in no time.

**

'Did you hear something?' Lily said bluntly, sitting on her bed.

'No, we're been pretty quiet for the past…'—Remus checked his watch—'two seconds, if you would please. Until you spoke.'

'No, it sounded like Dumbledore.'

'Oh, like the old man'll just walk in here!' Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 'This place is a secret!'

The attached bathroom door burst open merrily and an old wizard trotted in, whistling. His hands, the four Marauders noticed, had a towel, a bar of soap, fat yellow sponge and a flannel in it. A yellow rubber ducky was perched on them all. Their jaws fell.

'Well, well! What are you all doing in my bathroom?' Dumbledore asked in a surprised tone.

'B-bathroom?' James echoed. He shook himself. 'But Dumbledore, this _isn't_ a bathroom!'

'Oh. Really?'

'Really,' Lily said firmly. 'Seriously.'

'What have you all done with my bathtub? My mirror? My strawberry flavoured toothpaste? I know you are fond of jokes,' Dumbledore said, frowning deeply, 'but couldn't you at least spare my bathroom? You even took my kickboard!'

The Marauders coughed. 'Excuse us?'

'Yes! And what happened to my Garfield mug?' Dumbledore demanded.

'It's in your bathroom,' Sirius suggested, 'behind your office, in case you'd forgotten.'

'This _is_ behind my office, next to my room. Now, hurry up and return all those stuff of mine, Lily. Or Rose Evans will be sent a letter concerning both you and James,' Dumbledore said sternly. Lily and James exchanged glances, a thought on their mind: How did this crackpot old wizard know???

'But- but honestly!' James stuttered. 'You appeared out of _our_ bathroom in _our_ hideout, and—'

'—we freaked out,' Lily went on. 'You certainly didn't ring us up or send us an owl before paying us a visit!'

'Bathroom, you say?' Dumbledore said, turning to inspect the door he had just walked out from. He went in. 'Good, I'll use it first.' Sirius gulped.

'Y'know, I just bath,' he said.

'And your point?' Remus asked.

'Those – uh – dead Flobberworms from my, er, hair are stuck at the drainhole,' Sirius replied weakly.

'Good!' James cried. 'Now let's see if Dumbledore jumps out or not!'

'He's gone,' Lily said, matter-of-factly.

'Gone where?'

'Back to his office.'

'How?'

'You're also a psychic yourself, so figure it out.'

'JAFLING JIPPERS JABBED JONKING JEAPS OF JONKERS!' a shrill voice cried from the mirror-door. It slammed open (the mirror, miraculously, is still intact and not a single crack) and Adele ran in. Or rather, she jumped in. Her normally pale white face was painted in perfect scarlet and her violet eyes danced in madness.

'That's the password, you nitwit!' James scolded.

'I—huff—know,' the girl panted.

'Or else, she wouldn't be able to be here,' Remus supplied cheerfully.

'But what use is a password if you YELL it for the world to hear? You MORON!' James yelled. 'And there's—'

'What's that?' Lily asked, pointing at the window outside out the mirror. The small door, now wide open, faced a big glass window. The Marauders stared at the window intently.

Blink. Blink.

They ran out to take a closer look, shutting their secret room in process (shouldn't have gone in at all, Adele grunted to herself).

Blink again.

'AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! IT'S GONNA CRASH ON US!!!!!!!' all five teenagers yelled. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!'

'Hang on. We're the Marauders. Why are we – of all wizards and witches – yelling like lunatics?' Remus asked.

**CRASH!!!** The steely black talon shattered the window fiercely with force before sweeping in.

'A _Hippogriff_!' Adele shrieked.

'No, it's TWO Hippogriff! Another's on its way!' James called, motioning for them to run off the Hippogriffs' way. He needn't, for the others had enough sense to dash off at a breakneck speed.

In five minutes, two extremely grand-looking Hippogriffs ruffled their smooth feathers and began scanning their surroundings in interest.

'Hey Sirius,' Remus hissed. 'That's Hippogriff for you. The ones that you want to clean dung for, spice your life, and Merline-Knows-What-Else-You'll-Do-With-Them.'

'Ssh! I never expect them this gigantic! Phooey, their dung must be as big as an elephant!'

'…' was all his friends could say.

'Well, isn't it so?' Sirius said in a reasonable tone. 'By the looks of their size, I bet they consume about 20kg or more meat in their daily meal!'

'Thirty sounds convenient for their breakfast,' James said decidedly.

'And 50 for lunch,' Lily added.

'About 80 for dinner,' Adele nodded.

'And altogether, that would be 160kg per day,' Remus calculated. 'I wonder how much they weight…'

A shrill bell rang suddenly, echoing throughout the castle, indicating that the afternoon break time is over for the sixth and seventh years. Lily whipped out her timetable to see what class they were supposed to be in now.

She groaned at the highlighted **Muggle Theories**. 'Theories, people.'

'And what about them?' Adele asked, pointing at the two Hippogriffs, who were now studying a few nervous armours with arousing curiousity.

'We'll ignore them,' James said firmly. 'As if we don't—'

'—See them at all,' Sirius finished.

'Right! Or maybe we can lead them to Shanay,' Lily suggested. 'They can be friends. After all, same family.'

'But what are we gonna _do_ with—?' Adele started.

'Let them roam to their likings,' Remus said with a careless wave. 'Hogwarts is big.'

'Roam?! The Wizarding Zoo'll have your head! And we have to return them!'

'Well, they'll have to wait till Dumbly-dorr sees these two, which'll be for some time,' Sirius grinned. 'We'll have fun, don't worry! Make a wind outta their winds and such…'

'Wind?' Adele said slowly. She gulped, remembering the real reason why she's here with her friends. 'Uh, speaking of winds…'

'We have that stupid Muggle Theories,' Lily interrupted with a groan. 'And we're learning all about that "Eye of the Storm", remember? C'mon, let's go. I can't wait to be the earliest there… not!'

Sighing, all five hurried off. The hippogriffs just looked at them.

**

Muggle Theories turned into complete disaster and chaos when Professor Knitto's model of the "Eye of the Storm" accidentally fell from Sirius's hands when he was inspecting it. After ten minutes – of which twenty students and one professor used to try to capture it back into its glass box – it slowed its motion, fading into a tiny gust and gradually to nothing at all.

'BLACK!!!!!!' Professor Knitto shrieked, her glasses on the tip of her nose and face in red fury.

'It wasn't me!' Sirius said at once.

'Yes it was you!!!!! You and your- your BUTTERED FINGERS!'

'I didn't have any butter on my fingers, so it's not my fault!'

'BLACK!'

'Present. Actually, no, not in a mood for jokes. It's NOT my fault,' Sirius said firmly.

'Sirius,' James started solemnly, 'by the Marauders' Act of Coleslaw—'

'When do we have an Act of Coleslaw at all?' Adele asked.

'We just did. I, as a potential leader of this group, just came up with it seconds ago.'

'Ah… sure…'

'So,' James resumed, 'by the act of Coleslaw, paragraph two, you'll have to—'

'REPAY MY STORM!' Knitto interrupted sharply.

'—YOU will have to,' James said with obvious stress in an annoyed tone, 'demand a detention from the item involved.'

'Cool,' Sirius mused. 'But where's the storm? I can't demand any detention from it since it's not here! Oh Mr. Stoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrm…! Where aaaaaaaaare you? Come to meeeee!'

'Gee, no wonder it disappeared!' Remus laughed, 'it's scared of Sirius!'

'Mr. Stoooooorm!!!!!!'

Just then, a loud whoosh was heard and a strong wind whipped everyone's parchments from the table.

'Whoa, I wasn't serious,' Sirius said in amazement. 'Still, you're back. You can give me my detention now!'

'Sirius, it's the Hippogriffs!' Lily said happily. 'They strike back! Save us from this evil class!!!'

'Oh great! Now Professor Kettleburn has released his foul Griffins!' Knitto shrieked in rage. 'My storm will be lost!'

'It _is_ lost,' Adele pointed out bluntly. 'And they're not Griffins—they're Hippogriffs!'

'I do not care what they are at all! Repay my storm!'

'Sirius, ask them to flap their winds,' James said with dripping honey.

'Sqawk, quack, knak, knak,' Sirius said, turning to the magical creatures. Sometimes Remus find it hard to understand – or to know – if Sirius isn't just yakking rubbish to the beasts.

James smacked Sirius's head sharply.

'WHAT???' Sirius demanded.

'Whaddyou mean "eat up that monster lady behind that desk?"' James scowled. 'Knittie has to issue us detention, remember?'

Sirius saluted meekly as Knitto glared at the Marauders with loath.

After a long term of talking (and a few more bashing from James because Sirius requested that the Hippogriffs should swallow James) to the Hippogriffs, the magical beasts swept their gigantic wings in Professor Knitto's direction. Her square glasses were blown from her nose and fell on the broom and dustpan in the corner. The students found it amusing and roared with laughter.

Suddenly, a sound of crash-boom-bang was heard at the corridors. It was loud. Much louder than the whooshing sound of the two Hippogriffs' wings. All head spun in direction of the knocked door (crashed by Hippogriffs earlier).

The sound got louder and the silence of the class was pierced by a loud buzzing noise.

Adele gasped. The tornado! HER tornado, to be exact.

'Um,' she began weakly, tugging at Remus's robes.

'What's that?' Remus asked in surprise, eyes glued to the wrecked door.

'I er, thiink that it's my, um, tornado,' she said slowly. 'And I, uh, suggest that we all get out of the way.'

'Nonsense! We don't run!' Sirius scoffed. 'If it's your tornado, stop it then!'

'I can't, and that's the problem.'

'Sounds like a job for Super Lily!' Lily said, nodding excitedly.

'No, Super Lily stand aside! High-Emperor-James will take the job!' James cried.

'No, no, no!!!! Saneless Sirius runs for THAT position!' Sirius snapped.

'I think that Remus should deserve something on his side,' Remus shot.

'I don't care who's going to do it! Just stop my magic!!!' Adele shrieked at her friends. Still, shrieking does come a tad bit too loud for a group of five. The whole class turned to her.

'Your, uh, magic?' Thomas Macmillan acknowledged slowly, pointing at the twisting blur that had just twisted to sight and into the classroom. The noise was thunderous.

'Whatever,' Adele said quietly. Sirius turned to the Hippogriffs and yelled to them in their language.

Translation: Hey! You two! If you're REALLY great, stop THAT!

'Like they will,' James scoffed.

The Hippogriffs beat their great wings and began 'battling' Adele's tornado. They flapped their wings at the circling tornado.

And the law given by some scientist of the muggle world came to practise. The tornado grew even more thunderous. It spun harder and soon, the Hippogriffs have lost their fine, smooth eagle feathers to the raging wind. They look like half centaur and bald chicken. Needless to say, quite comical.

'That, children, is the dangerous storm's power!' Knitto called from under her table.

'Uh-oh! I think it's heading our way!' Sirius called. 'CHARGE!!!!!!'

'Don't you mean run?' Dan Trevor suggested meerkly.

'Oh, right, thanks. RUN!!!!! Or you'll be swallowed by- by that _grosteque, spinning, overgrown, humongous, super deteriorated, indestructable, undeniably_—'

'Quit the adjectives! We don't want to know how big your vocabulary is! Just run,' Lily muttered, dragging Sirius by the collar.

'Aaacghk!' Sirius coughed, choking, and his tongue sticking out involuntarily from his throat as his face turned into an interesting hue of purple. The Hippogriffs ran after them nervously.

**

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

A couple of bizarre sounds followed.

**

When Professor Knitto's Muggle Theories class arrived before Dumbledore's office, they noticed that nearly the whole school had already gathered in front of the gargoyle, Tlod (the name the Marauders gave it).

And by the look on Professor McGonagall's face, it seemed as if she was having problems with the password.

'What are you all doing here?' Professor Vart of the Arts and Crafts asked, noticing the newcomers.

'We were terrorised by a certain whirlwind,' Thomas informed in general.

The Ravenclaws nodded. 'So are we. It just… came out of nowhere and smashed all our pottery into tiny pieces!'

'You're speaking!' Severus Snape scowled. 'My potion was destroyed!'

'Hey, my Herbology essay got swallowed!!!!' Lucius Malfoy yelled in rage. 'And I actually spent time on it!'

'The Astronomy Tower was turned tip-top over,' a seventh year sighed.

'I was so close to succeeding my Banishing Charm!'

'Hey, none of you were chased out of the prefect's bathroom!' a fifth year retorted, clutching her bathrobes tightly, her wet towel still on her shoulders. Several boys were staring at her, and she was waving her wand busily at them to give them… certain hexes.

'QUIET!' McGonagall barked. Tlod jumped aside. The professor blinked. 'You mean _that's_ the password? Not Tweedledee and Tweedledum, nor Cheeze the Cheese Cat? Sheesh! And to think I waste my time like THAT.'

'Learn to live with bad memory,' Adele said comfortingly as McGonagall marched towards the spiral white stairs. Suddenly, she began rolling down the steps. Bididadidadidadida, ending with a heavy, loud boom.

'Ouch, that must've hurt!' Millie-Dint whistled in sympathy.

'Oops!' Dumbledore was heard. 'I'm terribly sorry, Minnie, but see, I was just—'

'It is Minerva,' McGonagall gritted, tending her bruises.

'—Trying on a new spell Crouch sent to me. See, it creates this certain "invisible wall", some kind of a barrier, that stretches as far as two metres, and I'm very sure that you'll be interested in learning it, Minnie, as it will—'

'It is **Minerva**, Headmaster.'

'—help you someday. What are you all doing out here?' Dumbledore asked cheerfully, noticing his students' solemn faces.

'There's a villian,' Lily said solemnly, 'and all of us are here to fight it. We would like you to—'

'—Donate 500 M16 to us, to have war against our evil enemies,' Remus interrupted.

'Air rifles, cannons, war tanks and uniforms are welcomed, too,' James added. 'You can fight too, as a volunteer.'

'But I don't want to die yet!' a Slytherin first year wailed.

'Sorry sweetie,' Adele said sweetly. 'You'd have to if you want to live.'

'ACT OF COLESLAW!' Sirius yelled suddenly, making everyone jump, literally.

'What did I do?'

'NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THE WORD SPELT **S-O-R-R-Y**!!! Now go and stuff your mouth with a mudpie-ratcake!'

'But I don't _know!_'

'You ought to,' Sirius smirked. Adele turned to the three others. They nodded grimly in reply.

'What is this all about, Minnie? Coleslaws, evil enemies…?' Dumbledore asked his deputy.

'My name is MINERVA!!!!!! Stop imitating Evans, Potter, Black, Lupin and Varens!'

'Yes, yes, so what is this all about, Minnie?'

There's a sudden urge for Minerva Mininninny McGonagall to shriek, "YOU CRACKPOT OLD FOOL! MY NAME IS _MINERVA_! NOT SOME STUPID MUGGLE CARTOON FREAK WITH OVERSIZED EARS! **MORON**!"

It was an urge, after all.

Still, the Transfiguration teacher just clenched her fists and grit her teeth. It reminded Lily barely of a muggle quote: Grin and bear it. The only difference is that McGonagall is grinding her teeth, not grinning.

There was a pregnant pause.

'Well?' Dumbledore asked expectantly.

'Uh, you see,' the Headboy started.

'No, I certainly do not see what is it that is bothering all of you, but it must have been fun.'

'No! You _see_,' Dito Wilt said again, 'It's not FUN.'

'Perhaps it is funkiness, yes? Or could it be groovy?' Dumbledore intercepted cheerfully.

'Amazing!' Adele cried. 'He's up-to-date!'

'For a wizard of his age!' Sirius grinned. 'Three cheers! Hip hip..!'

'HURRAH!' Hogwarts students chorused in unison. They went on for two more times. And after the last 'hurrah' everyone seemed to cheer with whistles and whoots and whatever else that seem to resemble wolf, owl, dog, and… whatever else.

'We have a lunatic here,' Remus sighed.

'We ARE lunatics,' James assured.

'No, I mean SERIOUS lunacy. As in, Sirius is mad.'

'He always is.'

'Oh, uh, is he?'

…P…A…U…S…E…

'Brilliant, Remus Lupin!' Lily called out finally. '_You _are a lunatic too!'

'What exactly IS going on?' Dumbledore blumbered in confusion.

'Oh. Nothing,' Sirius replied shortly.

'Nothing?! There a new breed of MONSTER out loose in Hogwarts and you call that NOTHING???' Malfoy yelled. The younger boy was going purplish-red beneath his pale skin. 'IT ATE THE HERBOLOGY ESSAY I ACTUALLY WORKED ON!!! I worked on it for **FIVE MURDEROUS HOURS**! YOU CALL THAT A NOTHING? I wasted 15 parchments, 3 bottles of ink, 5 peacock quills—'

'Look here kiddo, we get your message,' a seventh year growled. 'I NEARLY had a vision! So close! So—'

'SO?? My potion is destroyed!' Snape yelled.

'NONE OF YOU GOT CHASED OUT OF A BATHROOM!!!!' the prefect screeched in her shrill notes. 'I am far more of importance than any of you!!!' She turned to glare at the boys who were staring at her. 'LEECHES! FURNUNCULUS TITANDILLUS!'

The wand poofed and nearly three-quarter of the school got tentacles and warts on their faces.

'My storm,' Knitto began sadly. All heads (minus the 6th year Gryffindors') turned to her.

'It's YOURS?' McGonagall snapped. 'Well, you'd better keep it somewhere then. We don't want it _here_.'

'No. My storm is lost.'

A round of hmphs and eye rolling were acknowledged.

'Yeah Prof, you can capture this for a new one, then,' a sarcastic Hufflepuff said.

'Ya! Do you want a net? A bottle? Do name it! I'll be glad to give it to you.'

'Or maybe she needs some magic chalks. They're kind of hard to find though… maybe that Evans girl from Gryffindor has extras from the last prank she used!'

'Haha, ask her and maybe receive yourself locked in that chalk ring.'

'Actually,' Adele said loudly, 'that tornado is mine. It went… out of control, in a way.'

'Why?' her curious listeners demanded.

'How should I know!'

Heads spun towards Lily Evans. That's law of Hogwarts, as long as the Marauders are in there. If you can't get an answer, seek Lily. Miss Seer Extraordinaire answers all questions.

'Because her magic's weak,' Lily said promptly.

'Oh?'

'Well really! She hasn't been traini—mpf!'

'Adele's getting a little headachy these days,' James said smoothly, his hand still over Lily's mouth. 'And we ALL know how genius wizards are when they get sick. Nothing beyond another's control is in their control.'

'Isn't that so?' Remus said, smiling at Dumbledore.

'Hmm… I suppose… yes, right, yes, very true,' the old wizard replied.

'There!' Sirius said triumphantly. 'It's all truth!'

'Except that headache part,' Adele added quietly.

'Alright, we have cause of existence: when (today, obviously), where (Hogwarts, duh!), why (Miss Varens's lousy magic),' a bright Ravenclaw said, 'the problem now: how do we rid of it?'

'Wait for two days, I think,' Adele muttered. 'Judging the power, it'll go for two days. At least.'

'Right. So you're getting a detention, Black, on Friday for losing my storm,' Knitto said finally. Sirius whooped. 'Varens will be doing all the repairs with Caretaker Filch on Thursday because she's the cause of today's chaos.'

Adele groaned. With the school's enemy, doing patchwork?! Somebody… help…!!!

'Oh yes, Professor Dumbledore,' Ditto said, turning to Dumbledore. 'May I request that the prefects on probation receive an orientation/ I learn it from my sister's muggle school. Applies on the fifth year prefects.'

'Certainly, certainly!' Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Which comes to another muggle tradition at Hogwarts—wizard style.

'What's the chicken doing there?'

'Pardon?' Ditto said in puzzlement.

'The two chickens—bald chickens,' Dumbledore repeated, pointing at the feather-rid Hippogriffs.

'Ah, Hippogriffs,' Adele said slowly, 'that are rid of their fine glory. Poor creatures.'

'The ones that escape from the zoo, I should assume,' Dumbledore sighed. 'Well, the zoo would have to wait. These Hippogriffs cannot possibly go back in THIS state! And we can't possibly send them over on broomsticks!'

'Until then, Sirius would gladly clean their fewmets for them,' Remus added, smiling broadly as Sirius turned him a fierce glare.

____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: Hello!!!!!! *hugs everyone* I hope you all don't mind me hugging [I know some people who do—they get touchy about it!], but I just miss everyone! ^_^ for sports, I got three medals!!!! One gold and two bronze! Whee!!!

Uhh, I doubt you're at all interested in that :P well, I'll come up with a very reasonable reason why this one was a little late. For one, I lost the paper which I placed my notes for this chapter on [which is why it came up stupid]. For another, I'm writing another story which probably doesn't interest anyone at all o_O;; alright, I can't tell if it interests anyone, but it doesn't seem to in my opinion, so I just draw my own conclusion first.

Third reason is the stupidest of them all: this computer just keeps crashing, and my brother wouldn't allow me on the other one!!!! *picks up her sort-of hope-to-be-a-voodoo-doll-of-her-brother and starts poking needles in its 'head'*

*cough cough* now that I found my notes [after I typed ¾ of this chapter], at least I know that there'll be at least one more chapter to go. *rolls eyes* well, it depends. Probably two, but it's really up to this piece of paper.

Please review? ^_^


	10. Er, Autograph, Please?

_Arigato gozaimasu, minna-san!_

**CherryBlossomz008 –**You reviewed twice? *blinks* That's so sweet of you!!!!!! *hugs* thank you! I know telling everyone that "I'm busy" and that "I have too much homework" is lame. It is terribly lame _ I mean, I should have realized that I have to bear consequences of such a stupid choice two years ago! *whacks self*

**frances** – I made a promise before, and much as I'd like to break it, I can't :P 'cause I made ANOTHER promise after that, and if I ever do stop writing this… well, I'll be sure that I'm dead. Serious!

**Elena** – gee, don't pity me! How evil! *rolls eyes* I can be a whole lot worse than that, though! *laughs* I'm known as the Evil Queen of Pranks o.O;; in my school, at least. 

**Lady Louisa** – I'm afraid that I'm nothing at all, not even your hero. *smiles sadly*

**Me** – lol, you're reading in school?? That would be the LAST thing I'd ever do: read a story in school! Okay, it was the last thing I did last year before leaving my school -_- and I understand about the laughing part. I got a LOT of stares when I was laughing over "James, that grass is real. You can't eat it." "Oh, but it doesn't taste all that bad!" [_from_ **Even Angels Make Mistakes!**]

**Cristina** – hey, if you ever write on FanFiction.Net, do tell me! :) I'm sure it'll be a great piece! Everyone's work is great ^_^ everyone, that is, but mine. Oh well. Good luck!!!!

**aimless-wanderer** – people telling me that I'm bad are fine, but having to find it out myself was even worse ^_- which is exactly what I'm going through for two years. For a moment there, my heart stopped when you called the whole story lunatic! Really! But it's the last part that made me grin when I read it ^_^ thank you!

**Bon** – you actually LIKE THEM?! Oh no… I think their egos are going to burst any moment soon. Believe me, they're meant to be hated… in a way :P

**Crystal Lily** – yeah, it's almost the end, and I'm dreadfully THANKFUL about it! I've been labouring for nearly two years! I don't know if I were to write about them after Hogwarts and all, but it does depend on whether or not I decide to make this an Alternate Universe fic! *groans* I think I had too much of parallel world dreams! I honestly promise, by my name, I would post the next chapter in one week. If not, the latest would be in a week and a half! You can count on my promises!

**Hermione2** – you know, I feel very uncreative at the moment, too! Sorry if this chapter's in a great tangle of mess!

**SAKURAnTOKYO** – gee, I'll take the hailarious as a compliment, kay?

**Milkyweed** – it was funny? The last chapter was ACTUALLY funny??? o.O;

**Dannygirl** – short and precise!

**Katie Bell** - *hugs* thank you so, so much!!!!! You left me a brilliantly long review and I LOVE long reviews a lot! Lol, and it was cutely funny, too ^^ although it wasn't very positive [in my opinion, anyway] since you said it was confusing, and nearly said that it sucks ^_^;;;; err…

**Tarawen** – mou, arigato! ^^

Disclaimer: I won lottery—not! You wish, huh?

____________________________________________________________________________________

**The Marauding Five : Year Six**

Chapter 10: Er, Autograph, Please? 

  Sirius coughed modestly at his cup of tea. Everyone arched their eyebrows at him.

  'I see… a summer hat,' he declared out loud with confidence, squinting at the tea leaves with immense concentration that would probably amaze a rabbit. 'And then there's a butterfly. And a net. And some flowers. And green grass. And England. And the Pacific Ocean. And Earth. And Milky Way. And the universe. And the—'

  'Are you sure?' Adele asked doubtfully. 'Because,' she added, 'all I see is you gibbering rubbish. There's ONLY tea leaves and nothing else!'

  'Ah, but of _course_, ONLY tea leaves is… um, solid sight,' Remus interjected, choosing his words carefully so that Professor Trelawney didn't decide that it's high time the Marauders receive a few negative for their house points.

  Professor Trelawney raised her eyes. 'So what do you see, Mr. Lupin?' Naturally, despite _everything_ the Marauders had mercilessly put her through, she hasn't gotten the least bit of sense in her fluffy head. Yet.

  'Oh, I see… snow!' Remus announced cheerfully, snatching the cup from Sirius's hand. 'And a blizzard. Huge, scary one, might I add. There's this poverty-stricken cottage – or squatter's house, whichever you would prefer – and Santa Clause and…'

  'No! and I suppose elves, fairies, angels, harps, earth, the galaxy and the universe, right?' Adele interrupted sarcastically. The fair-headed boy missed the sarcasm in his cheerfulness.

  'Why, but _yes_!'

  'It's summer,' Sirius persisted. 'Fine weather, butterflies, meadows and the likes of it!'

  'Winter,' Remus corrected. 'Bad weather with evil-looking elves, blood-thirsting fairies, angels from hell and Santa leaving a pin bomb in the child's stocking.'

  'Summer.'

  'No, look carefully, Sirius old friend! It's WINTER! SEE???' Remus shoved the cup in front of Sirius's nose, causing him a mild headache from staring at an object so close.

  'Summer!'

  'Winter!'

  'It's SUMMER.'

  'No, it's WINTER.'

  'Let ME see!' Tally snapped, snatching the purple teacup from Remus. She stared at the drenched tea leavers for a while and everyone silenced to listen to her. It would be the winning vote. Tally announced: "It's Autumn, actually. Jack-o-Lanterns, dry brown leaves, blah blah blah.'

  'SUMMER!!!!!'

  'No, Autumn! Believe me, I know what I'm doing!'

  'Hey, it's winter. Winter, understand?'

  'Look here you creeps, I'm an expert—'

  'You mean to say that you happen to have your Inner Eye in smokes!'

  'My Inner Eye is NOT in smokes!'

  'Yeah, neither mine! Perfectly healthy and in happy colours!'

  'Waitaminute. Eyes have colours? I mean, the Inner one?'

  'I SAID it is AUTUMN.'

  'Summer.'

  'Winter.'

  The argument seemed quite capable to last for hours and hours. Professor Trelawney took the teacup that was left, forgotten, on the table. She studied it with boring interest.

  'SHUT UP!' Adele shrieked. 'Sheesh, where on earth is Lily anyway??? She's always somewhere else when you need her!'

  'Tell me about it,' Tally said, drawing out of the argument for a short while to add her comment to Adele's remark.

  'Class,' Trelawney started in her mystic voice. No one paid her much attention. Why would they anyway? Everyone was busy arguing about what _they_ had seen in the teacup, though none of them had actually seen it. 'Class, it's Easter, actually.'

  Let's go to the teacup. It happened to be Severus Snape's teacup, though HOW it had actually fallen to the hands of Sirius Black – who's sitting at least fifteen tables away from the Slytherin, right at the end of the class – was quite undetectable history. The Snape is now twirling his blue cup around, trying to make out what he could see in it.

  'I see a talking doll,' he said finally, unable to make much out of the criss-crossing tea leaves. The students blinked at him. 'A giant, talking, walking, **girly** doll,' he added, with much disgust stressed on the girly part. Obviously, dolls don't appeal to him.

  'Oh, that's ingenius. And what was it suppose to symbolise, huh? Eternal betray? Yuckiness? Monsters?' Anna Hopkins said sarcastically.

  'It's WINTER!!!!!'

  'I keep telling you that it's Autumn! Listen to me, will you?'

  'Drop it morons. Summer. As in holidays, okay?'

  'Well then, can we all see Snape catching butterflies in summer?' James said innocently, a huge smile on his face.

  Everyone in the class turned to face Snape, who in turn pulled out a pocket mirror to see himself. First a summer hat appeared on his greasy black head – one with a seemingly lifetime supply of daisies, sunflowers, roses and pimpernels on. A butterfly net appeared in his big (slimy) pale hands.

  Snape ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, after the yellow and pink butterfly and… PLOP! Tripped over his long robes, hit the stone floor, and blacked out.

  It was almost comical. Only his fall had been too cruel to be comical.

  Sirius choked a giggle. 'Okay, fine, I'm ruled out.'

  'What was going on anyway?' Lily asked cheerfully.

  'Maybe they were revising the topics. Teacups,' a Ravenclaw prefect said intelligently. He had also just returned from their prefects' meeting.

  'I won't be held responsible for your stomach aches!' James said hurriedly when he saw that everyone was clutching his abdomen in hysterical laughter. They had decided to laugh, anyway. Everyone but Trelawney had, that is. The lady was tight-lipped.

  'Where were the three of you, Potter, Evans and Green?'

  'Well, meeting,' Lucifer Green said. 'The FIRST meeting with the FIRST thing to do BESIDES duty.'

  'You don't have to stress it all,' his twin sister retorted.

  'We're going to have a one-year _trial_ for some muggle orientation. Or was it Glory-of-Attention for the seventh years?' Lily said with sweet sarcasm.

  'Orientation,' Lucifer nodded firmly. 'But yeah, it's glorious attention for those seventh years.'

  'In which the seventh years will be bullying us,' James added.

  'Um. Does "us" include everyone?' Adele asked.

  'Well, he did say us…' Pastira Thore trailed.

  'Not just'—gulp—'the prefects?'

  'Just the prefects!' Lily trilled. 'Gee… we all wish that! Hah! I find it stupid, though. What use is it, huh, to collect USELESS… er, how shall we put it..?'

  'Signatures,' Lucifer said.

  'No, I want something more sarcastic.'

  'Autographs,' James smirked.

  'Uh, yes! So why should we get their useless autographs just because they're OLDER than US!?' Lily shrieked, banging the table repeatedly with hard fist. It banged heavily and would almost break if Remus hadn't thoughtfully removed it.

  'Why are you telling us this anyway?' a Hufflepuff asked.

  'Why? Because you're all in it, too.' It was short. Direct. And understandable.

  '**WHAT?!**'

  'But- but you said-!'

  'Isn't it ONLY prefects??'

  'Nothing to do with us!'

  'COLLECTING the seventh years' SIGNATURES?'

  'Well, you can count your blessings that you're not first years,' James said helpfully, to make it sound better.

  'We can torture them!' Lily added joyfully.

  Well, it did sound better. A bit.

  'Uh, we don't have to take … _yours_, right?' Tally murmured. If she were to take the Marauders' signature or SOMETHING from them, she might as well just kiss her life goodbye. They'll most likely make her swing like Tarzan #2. Hmm. Now she pitied the younger forms that don't know of their wraths.

  'Nope.'

  'Good! Because I'll kill myself if I ever have to.'

  Lily raised her eyes in wicked amusement. Tally gulped.

  'Er, no…'

**

  'Cough, cough—ahem!' Dumbledore said, standing up from his place and raising his breakfast cup (whichis purplish green-gold in colour) to the students in the hall. 'Well, well, well. The prefectorial board have suggested—'

  'Not _the_ prefects,' a Hufflepuff called out at once.

  'It's JUST the Headboy,' James added.

  '—the whole school should be exposed to a muggle tradition—'

  The Slytherin table occupants had gladly unhooked their jaws and let it fall to the ground, and their eyes took the trouble to widen, and their faces turned red and white with disbelief. They look almost like peppermint and not like peppermint.

  '—of orientation,' Dumbledore went on cheerily, oblivious to all the remarks and expressions around him. 'In which all the students must collect signatures from their seniors, and—'

  'Oh, no…'

  'I thought I'd escaped from it at my muggle school!'

  'Waaaaah!'

  'No! mummy, save me!'

  'Would you all please keep the dramatised effects for stage acting?' the headmaster added very cheerfully.

  'Someone once said that the world is a stage,' Adele called.

  'Shakespeare,' Lily said triumphantly. 'That's one general fact I'm not gonna forget anytime soon!'

  'I WANT MY MUMMY!!!!!'

  'Oh, I'm going to die! Die!!! Argh!' the student crying this fell on Ravenclaw table with a faint plop. Anna Hopkins kicked her older brother.

  'What _are_ they going to _do_ to us?'

  'We've never had this before! Why now? Why now?'

  'Muggles… grr… another reason to hate 'em.'

  'Mudblood traditions. Humph!'

  'QUIET!' McGonagall snapped. Silence. 'And keep it this way!'

  'As I was saying, to obtain the signatures, SOME – or MOST – of the seniors might request for a job to be performed first,' Dumbledore said, very much thankful for McGonagall's demand of silence. 'If you find the talk a … _little_ overboard, you may see one of the prefects to complain, and house points will be deducted. Any questions?'

  the same deadly silence followed. Sirius stood up, after a while.

  'Can we start talking now?' he asked daftly.

  'You _are_ talking, idiot,' James noted. 

  'No, I was _asking_ a question!' he persisted.

  'NOW you're talking,' Adele reasoned.

  'I AM NOT! I'M YELLING!'

  'It's the same,' Remus added.

  'No it isn't!!!'

  'It is. Face the fact, won't you?'

  'IS NOT!!!!! You don't call a wizard a muggle and a muggle a wizard now, do you?' Sirius demanded. 'I was YELLING! And I am doing so NOW!'

  'For your precious information, talking involves opening your mouth and rattling the voicebox,' Lily said sweetly, 'which is exactly what you're doing now.'

  'And it is also EXACTLY what you're all doing: NOT keeping the silence that I had requested!' McGonagall said calmly, giving each of them a death glare. 'Potter, Evans, Lupin, Black, Varens; three points from Gryffindor—_each_.' She sharpened her gaze at Sirius. 'And for you, Mr Black, a detention.' Her voice held the eerie black tone of doom.

  It didn't seem to affect Sirius, however. He was, instead, beaming broadly with all teeth and twinkles.

  The Gryffindors did the only natural thing that has been done ever since the year had started: hissed and started acting almost like the Slytherins. They've been losing house points very regularly these days, much thanks owed to the Marauders' sudden obsession to pranks. Ravenclaw is in the lead already.

  'How long will this… ogle-attention thing last?' a Hufflepuff said. 'It's… an inter-house thing, right?'

  'One week, and yes, in the house. Except for the sixth years, that is. They can have it in all four houses,' Dumbledore said cheerily. 'And you'd need about a hundred, I should think. It'll last.'

  'WHAT?!'

  'It'll _last_? I don't even think it can SURVIVE!'

  'That's a bloody whole LOT you're asking, Prof!'

  'Sheesh… _now_ I pity the Slytherin first years! They're gonna have one blinking hard time!'

  'Can't we have just about 50 or so, professor?'

  'AND,' Dumbledore added loudly, 'if you fail to do so, you will receive a lovely pile of homework and some other… decent stuff that the staff feels appropriate. And, your orientation starts today. Have fun!'

  'Gah!!! We're supposed to do THIS and have FUN??? Who suggested this???' Snape grunted. 'I hope I can stuff the Headboy with chimney ashes!!!'

**

  All of Gryffindor sixth years are in the common room. The seventh years are haunting like zombies in the library, obviously terrorised by the aspect of the nearing NEWTs. Fifth years, the old charms classroom, thank to Professor Flitwick's ingenious project for them. The fourth years are at the banks of the Dark Lake with the rest of their form. Thirteen and twelve year olds are in the portrait room for some reason or other, and the tiddly first years are scurrying around, joined by a few extremely 'hardworking' students from other years.

  'Please!' Pastilla Thore begged. 'I don't want to jump into the LAKE!!!! Blimey, there's GOT to be a better one, right?' she added with a sour yell.

  'Sorry kid. It wouldn't do much harm, would it?' the fourth year grinned evilly. 'It's Spring, if you hadn't noticed, not Winter.'

  'Near Summer,' another fourth year added helpfully. He gave her a cheeky grin.

  'I AM NOT DOING THIS STUPID THING!!!' Pastilla shrieked. 'AND I'M **ONLY** WEARING MY ROBES AND SCHOOL UNIFORM! I JUST _WASHED_ THEM!'      

  'Alright, you all heard her!' the fourth year who asked Pastilla to jump into the lake called to her friends. 'No signature for her!'

  'NO!!!! No wait! I change my mind!' Pastilla yelped. 'I'll jump,' she muttered sulkily.

  SPLASH!

  'Release those Kappas! Quick!!!' a mischievous girl called to her boyfriend.

--*--

  'So, you want ours?' Adele said cheerfully. 'ALL five of us?'

  The huge group of first years nodded firmly.

  'That means… five task, if my mathematic skills don't fail me,' Lily said. The group of "shrimps" (at least, that's what Sirius calls them) nodded again.

  'Clean the Owlery!' Adele said promptly.

  'For mine, you'll all have to propose to Sirius—ALL of you! Yep, even the boys,' Remus said, smiling broadly at them.

  'Dance around the school!' Sirius added.

  'Lick the coals STRAIGHT from the fireplace,' James said happily. They stared at him as if he had two heads. 'What, it's very lenient, you know!' Mumbling, they just nodded.

  'Propose to the tree out there until it said yes,' Lily said, trying not to giggle at their faces. The ten pairs of eyes have been growing wider by every task, and were almost the size of frying pans (not the toy ones) already. Maybe a wok.

  'You can count your blessings that they don't ask you to be their guinea pigs,' Tally said to them, hoping that the thought would be comforting. 'Believe me, you'll end up looking like monsters.'

  'We feel really safe,' a girl from the group said sarcastically.

  So the group of ten first years were divided into four. Two followed Adele to the Owlery, four with Siirus and Remus, another two tagged after James to the library fireplace, and Lily the remaining two to the pine tree opposite Hagrid's hut.

**

  'Not a feather on the ground. And be SURE to polish everything until I can see my face in it!' Adele said. 'Then wipe the panes and remove the webbings.'

  Gibbers and John nodded eagerly. The job seemed easy. In just a flick, everything would be done in a wink!

  'Oh, and no magic,' Adele grinned, reading their minds. 'No wand waving, no potion, and AGAIN, no MAGIC. All by yourself! And do two corners only, kay? Don't want you to suffer too much from dancing around the school later… Try not to scare the owls,' Adele added. 'Hey, do you mind brushing the owls too?'

  Their jaws fell as Adele left the room.

  'Okay, she said that she wanted to see her face in the polish, right?' Gibbers said, scratching his head.

  'We could just paint her if it were the floor… but POLISH??' John said, frowning in thought.

  'Hey, I didn't saw anything about painting!' Adele's shrill voice called out to them. 'I meant HARD WORK.'

**

  'Oh, you are my- my- my … uh, slobs? UN! NO! STARS, I mean, yeah, STARS! My … _pretty_ *cough* rosebud… and, um, garden,' Jenna said, stammering with uncertainty. After all, she'd grown up learning that boys are the ones that do the proposing, not GIRLS!

  'Kay, kay, I pity you, pass,' Sirius said boringly. Remus scrawled his name on her parchment.

  'Your eyes are dark and… um, saggy. Your hair reminds me of the stressed nights in elementary school. Your sallow sunken cheeks are…' Nicholas trailed off, quite unsure.

  'Fail. Gosh, wonder how would your future wife react, with you proposing like _that_!' Sirius snorted. He hadn't quite enjoyed the insults the younger kid had used.

  'Well, no, but YOU're not a girl! I only know how to propose to girls!' Nicholas retorted, catching a short glimpse of Jenna nearby.

  'Just pretend he is, then,' Remus said calmly, trying not to laugh.

  'Fine, fine…'

  'Actually, I change my mind,' Sirius said hurriedly, 'he passed.' He's feeling dreadfully embarrassed with these SHRIMPS proposing to him! 'After all, when proposing, you ought to be honest, hmm?'

  'Right!' Nicholas said at once.

  'You are, Sirius… Black? … my little man! We shall live in the garden of Eden..!'

  'Yeah right, and get fooled by that creepy snake? Sorry—NO WAY!' Sirius snapped. 'Whatever, pass. Next!'

  'Tall, handsome, and almighty…' Remus snickered at Sirius.

  'You flatter me. Pass,' Sirius said, feeling literally sick of all these proposals. And he had another SIX to go…! No way. 'Alright, now for MINE! Let's dance around the school!!!'

**

  'Gee, Potter, must I really lick it?' Dippetty gulped. He held the black coal James pulled from the fireplace. According to the prefect, it was, what, used for 700 years already! Dare he?

  'Yup! With your tongue. You know, like dogs.' James smiled broadly.

  'I hate dogs!' Jeremiah whined.

  'I didn't ask you to be one, did I?' The Marauder magicked a pail of water. 'See? I'm really a nice guy!'

  'Flattering,' Dippetty muttered as he gingerly stuck his tongue out, rubbed the black coal on it or a second, spluttered at its ancient dusting taste, and dunked his head into the pail. He was in for about 20 seconds, but had to emerge for oxygen.

  James smiled even broadly.

  Jeremiah stared at the coal. He reluctantly brought the coal up and…

  'Jeremiah! I didn't ask you to FRENCH KISS it!!!! Is that why you're so reluctant??' James said with peals of laughter. 'Honestly, the way your ear works! Oh well, I guess I'll do Sirius a favour and get ol' Moony to let you off the proposing.'

  Jeremiah looked like he was about to faint.

**

  'What do you mean _UNTIL IT SAID YES_?' Gina said in a horrified tone.

  'Ay.'

  'But trees don't talk!' Mika protested.

  'They do!' Lily nodded solemnly, as if trees talking are common everyday happenings. To her, it obviously is. What with the number of potions Sirius could brew for you, nearly everything is possible.

  'Seriously, Evans, they don't!'

  'Oh, yeah, I remembered, not to you,' Lily said dumbly. 'Well! That's the fun of it, isn't it? Go on and propose to it!'

  'BUT TREES DON'T TALK!'

  'Yeah, sure they don't,' Lily rolled her eyes. 'I say they do, so just do it!'

  'She's evil,' Mika whispered.

  'She's Evans, what do you expect? My sister said that she and her gang are MAD!' Gina muttered.

  'I heard it all,' Lily said with a hint of danger in her voice. 'And if you don't want to be turned into a goat, you'd better do it,' the redhead said.

  Mika was sent to Hagrid for a calming tea (she went hysterical for no reason, but Gina suspected that Lily did something).

  'Dear, beautiful,' Gina started.

  'On one knee,' Lily said sharply, enjoying herself tremendously. Someone is actually PROPOSING to a TREE! Glee of all jokes!

  Gina got down on one knee and rolled her eyes. She magicked a ring, in case Lily had anything else to complain. 'Beautiful, pretty, wonderful, enchantingly lovely fir—'

  'It's pine,' Lily interrupted.

  '—_pine_ tree. Your branches are so thick with flourishing red roses and green leaves—'

  'Merlin's sake, this is a **pine tree**!'

  'I would like your help, er, your extended arm – BRANCH! – please, to allow me to engage you to me. I- um, I would bring you to honeymoon in Japan,' Gina said earnestly. Lilly rolled her eyes.

  'Oh, and how, I wonder? This isn't any _bonsai_, duh!' Lily smirked.

  'I'll dig you up and plant you there,' Gina insisted. 'Please, will you marry me?'

 No answer. Of _course_, trees don't talk. Gina hesitated and stare at Lily, her hazel brown eyes as if saying 'c'mon Lily!' Lily ignored her purposely and began humming a tune.

  'I- I would water you and place fertilizer,' Gina added. 'And- and I won't let anyone chop you down!'

  Silence.

  'Please, Mr. Fir tree!'

  'It's **PINE**,' Lily corrected again. 'Oh well, I pity you. The tree ACTUALLY said no, but heck, you can't hear her. By the way, it's a girl, Gina.

  Gina groaned.

**

  'Left, up, down, right! Now right, right, right, right, right, right,' Sirius sand stupidly. 'LEFT!!!!!' There was an abrupt change in the dancing number. 'Left, right, left, right, down, down, up, twirl, right, left, left…'

  The first years did a weird jig around, causing a lot of interesting stares.

  'Er,' was all Remus, who tagged after them in interest, could say.

 'Now, _twist_! Jump, left, up, up, down. SPLIT!!!!!' Sirius yelled sharply. In surprise, the four kids fell on the floor with a not-but-can-quite-be-counted-as-one split.

  'That *huff* is soooooo embarrassing,' Jenna panted.

  'It's funny!' Remus chuckled.

  'Perhaps another round?' Sirius said cheerfully. 'You all weren't really good yet, you know.'

  'NO!!!' the first years shrieked at once. Sirius laughed madly in glee.

**

  Adele was running out of ideas. This is her – what, fifteenth? – or something plus ten request for signature. The seventh years' orientation isn't what any normal person would call FUN, and you can't get any creative ideas out of them at all.

  All those boring gonna-be-graduates-if-they-pass just ask for boring things like cleaning the toilets, or maybe recite their homework so that they can remember their stuff.

  Adele rolled her eyes. All boring.

  'Well, you can always give it to me for free,' Pattempt Thore suggested hopefully.

  She snorted in reply. 'As if! Well, I want you to count all the roof-tiles on the North Tower, then.'

  '57, 650,' was the prompt reply. Adele refused to give up that easily.

  'Well, Gryfifndor tower ALSO, just to torture you.' Pattempt cursed her under his breath, which, of course, resulting in him being tended in the Infirmary for one hour, with an excuse of playing with tinderboxes.

  'Aww… you're actually asking them to count the tiles?? Are you running out of ideas?' Remus cackled.

  'Shut up!' the girl snapped.

  'That's sad,' James smirked.

  ''scuse me Potter. Would you… you know,' a fourth year stated weakly. He doesn't seemed to happy to ask the Marauders for **THEIR **signatures, but some things just can't be helped.

  'Put this into the Slytherins' food tomorrow, will you?' James beamed, snatching a packet of grey powder from Lily.

  'Hey! That's mine,' Lily said.

  'Well… I wanted the tap-dancing one,' James said. He stared at the packet. 'Isn't this the one?'

  'Actually, no, genius,' Lily replied sarcastically, checking her many pockets in her robes (Gram had sewn extra pockets for stationery and – ahem – prank purposes. Of course, when inquired, it's always the former reason.

  'Well?' James said impatiently as the fourth year hummed a short tune to himself. 'What colour is it?'

  'Yellow,' Lily said, turning her hat over and spilling all the tarot cards. She turned her bag inside out.

  'Is that it?' Adele said, pointing at something – a packet of yellow lemon powder look-a-like – in Sirius's hands. The boy in question was carelessly tipping it into the fireplace.

  'SIRIUS!!!!!!!! THAT'S MINE!!!'

  And, much to everyone's amusement, little mice and spiders jumped out of the fireplace and began tap-dancing. Er, not _everyone_'s amusement. Some got hysterics, and some believed it to be the work of the Imperius. The other some had phobia for the harmless arachnids and mice. So the remaining two-fifth are the really amused ones.

  Lily snatched the packet from Sirius, yelling something at the boy in an odd language that bear no resemblance whatsoever to Latin, Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Chinese… everything. Then the redhead prefect stomped at his feet before handing James the powder.

  The fourth year stared at Sirius, curious at how he had his index fingers stuck in his nose.

  'Well, you sprinkle some of these into their nose – er, I mean food,' James said cheerfully, trying not to snigger.

  'Uh, and what would they do?'

  'Oh, maybe turn into spiders and mice,' Adele cackled. The fourth year scurried off, scared that these weird… Marauders, or whatever they called themselves – would turn him into something odd.

  'I enjoy this so much!' Lily chimed happily. 'We get a payback on the Slytherins, and no detention and house points are against us for everything!'

  'LTHILTHI!!!!! PFUT MHE FBACK TFO NORMAL!!!!!' Sirius yelled, fingers still stuck in his nose.

**

  Next morning, the Slytherins tap-danced on their table, and more particularly on their breakfast. The Ravenclaws were painted yellow and black in face. The Hufflepuffs still hadn't realised that they were in a brilliant shade of blue. And the Gryffindors were growing rabbit ears and whiskers.

  The teachers were torn between yelling _"finite incantatem_' and laughing, but as soon as each student got a good look at each other, laughs and giggles were erupting all over like a great fire.

  Slytherins were considering tap-dancing classes, when nearly everything ended.

____________________________________________________________________________________

An: originally, I had intended on combining the last chapter and this together, then decided that it's STILL too long even when I typed it up. So first, I would apologize profusely for a terribly long wait for this. Believe me, I know how it's like to wait for each chapter to turn up, but I've been having a lot of personality and mental crisis at the moment.

  Anyway, next chapter would be the last one ^_^ and I'm going to get it out FAST. You're going to bet on it. I'll have it out in one week, if my mid-year exams don't interfere! Else, it'll be out in a week-and-a-half. You have my word on it. Oh, and this orientation thing is well, I remembered a funny occasion during MY orientation =^_^= and I planned to use it here. Apparently, it's only coming out in the next chapter -_-

  Did you know, I was considering on dropping writing altogether? … er, I don't think so… I've got lots to say, but I don't think anyone would care anyway. Anyway, for those that do [which I'd gladly bet is practically no one], thanks. I'm just sorry that I couldn't write any better than this junk, with such a lousy writing skill.

… Suffering from mental illness and a personality crisis: *bows Marauder-style* bunny chan.


	11. The Path For More House Points

**the Angelic Andria** – hallo Andria!!!! Sorry, I hadn't gotten around to reading your fic yet! I promise, as soon as I clear my Physics and IT tests, I'll go right over and review for you! *beams* that would be next Monday, though, so do wait, kay? Lol, I already have the seventh year planned ^_- and then I'm going to write a L/J AU Fantasy, you know?

**aimless-wanderer** – funny, **_I_** made a girl propose to a palm tree for about half an hour before! Only it's not stony ground—it was grassy and wet and muddy ^_^ it's lovely, I tell you, to be able to torture them like that! Gives you the pleasure the past seniors had when they make you do funny things!

**Lady Louisa** – If I quitted, you won't be reading this at all! ^_^ but then again, I was ABOUT to quit…

**~*Crystal Lily*~** - it's pretty lousy a writing, you know! And this IS the last chapter ^_^ unless, of course, you mean the last chapter of the seventh year, which I had barely even thought of yet! :P****

**CherryBlossomz008** – aaaah!!!!! You called me a baka?! *fumes and loses her temper* anata no baka! Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka!! HMPH!!! *blushes as she remembers that she's losing control again* ano… gomen ne, gomen! Yes, I do mean to give up writing, but as I was saying, I have a stupid habit with promises that I vow to hold on to. *scowls at Rachie* anyway, I'm insane [hey, I'm trying to find a psychologist you know??] and I doubt I have "fans" at all! *rolls eyes* yes, I would write the seventh year, but in a less immature manner ^_^

**Hermione2** – I'm not stopping yet ^_^ I'll stop when I decide when I should kill myself, lol! You thought you're sounding like Pollyanna? My friend almost called me Pollyanna, but not because I said "I'm glad…"; she said I was TOO HAPPY FOR MY OWN GOOD! Evil, isn't she? Lol, I can't be better than you! I mean, I'm trying to be better than my classmates to begin with, and that's really saying how bad I am enough!

**SAKURAnTOKYO** – arigato ^_-

**Star** – I'm one of the 'best' authors you've found?? Oh my! That means that you need a whole lot more hunting before you ditch me in the dumpster, then! :P seriously, I'm nothing compared to a lot of other authors.

**aurora riddle** – you've never heard of orientation?? Lucky you!!! They're the worst thing ever, if you're the one collecting signatures—but they're the best thing to happen if you're the senior dishing out these tasks! *grins evilly* yes, I do admit it's confusing, but I like confusing everyone! It makes you wonder about me, huh? -_-;; a sequel? A sequel for what?

**Milkyweed** – You always have the knack of knowing whether or not you asked that senior already for his/her signature! Really. I mean, even _I_, with my short memory and all, managed to remember whom I'd asked or not! Guess you tend to avoid those seniors in days to come! ^_-

**frances** – yep, I'm from Asia! ^_^ hello!!!! *waves* *jumps up and down* can you see me??? *pauses to think* oh… er, I guess not o.O;;

**Glacial Phoenix Mystiara** – guess what? *smirks* I just typed up your name! Haha!!! NOW you can't call me a lazy pig! I want to see how Snape will react to the tap-dancing classes that he planned to take *grins* it sounds fun, doesn't it?

Disclaimer: I wish I own everything, but sadly, I own only half of what's "everything". *smiles sweetly at everyone else as she holds up a MOCK contract that states that Harry Potter & Co. belongs to her* Gee, I can dream, can't I?

____________________________________________________________________________________

**The Marauding Five : Year Six**

Chapter 11: The Path For More House Points 

  'Count the roof tiles on North Tower,' Charite Jones said.

  '57,650,' Lily replied promptly.

  'Er, Gryffindor Tower,' Charite said, frowning a little.

  'It's 66,251,' Adele chirped.

  'No, no! I mean, toilet tiles! Yes, toilet tiles! In Myrtle's place!'

  'Down to the very chipped piece, it's 5,555,' James grinned.

  'How in Merlin's name do you all KNOW???? Okay, okay, how about the window panes in the portrait room?' Charite asked. She's getting frustrated. All the younger forms counted EVERYTHING, huh?

  'Seventeen,' Remus answered, bored.

  'Oh, sheesh! I give up! I got the Witches Ritual and everything down to the last detail already, and I don't want to hear about it anymore!' Charite shrieked. The Marauders stared at her hopefully. It was always a dream come true if someone gives out signature willingly without any task. 'Just- just give my brother Jeremy your signature!' she cried in exasperation.

  'Deal!' the five teenagers chorused in unison as they ticked her name off their list before leaving Charite to moan over insignificant details.

  'I'm asking Millie-Dint,' Lily said, catching sight of the HeadGirl. 'Hey Millieeeeee! Millie-Dint!!!! MIIIIIIIILLLIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! Here!'

  Millie-Dint turned to Lily in surprise. 'Oh, I know what you want alright,' she said, her lips curling into a smirk. 'Only prefects are allowed to ask the HeadStudents. Well, well, well… Lily Evans… how about a detention for you, yes?'

  'The forest??' Lily squealed, quite tempted by the idea. Millie-Dint gulped.

  'Erm, no. How about, er,' Millie-Dint said, a candle lighting in her head, 'get James in this, too?'

  'What? Me? Why?' James whined.

  'I'll sign for you if you do,' Millie-Dint said, grinning as her plan lay out before her mind's eye. It was perfect.

  James considered it. 'Okay.'

  'James, you'll _propose_ to Lily; **in front of the school**,' the seventh year said solemnly, stressing the last bit and the italics.

  There was a pregnant pause.

  'WHAT?!' the two prefects exclaimed in disgust. 'PROPOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!'

  'Do it, or a detention AND 15 points. _Each_.' They glared at her sulkily, instantly regretting asking her stupid autograph. They had really wanted Gryffindor to NOT get the last place for the house cup championship this year, and they're quite close – no. Gryffindor's actually AT the last place already, for crying out loud!

  Now…! All for one stupid, stupid signature that'll be meaningless in no time!

  'Okay, okay, fine…'

  'Because Gryffindor's losing already…

  'We're not respecting you…'

  'So bear THAT in your mind…'

  'And,' Millie-Dint went on happily, ignoring their sarcastic comments, 'you both should be right at the High Platforms, so that the whole school will actually get to see you!'

  Grumble, grumble.

  'Fine. You're just lucky that we're not allowed to murder you,' they said finally in unison, something really amazing for such a long sentence.

  'And, for your trouble, I'll get Michael and my friends to sign for you two, too!' the HeadGirl added, smiling sweetly.

  James and Lily's face brightened as if the sun were rising.

  'Really? Really? YAY!!!!!!' Naïve people, Adele sighed, are so easy to be pleased.

  'No way! How can we lose to them?? They're have nearly all the seventh years' signatures, then!' Sirius protested.

  'Unfair, really, but they're prefects,' Remus sighed. 'Only prefects get to ask the HeadStudents and prefects from other houses.'

  'Oh great. But we'll get a nice show, all the same,' Adele said happily, secretly smiling over something.

**

  On the last day of the orientation morning, nearly all of the seventh year Gryffindors were laughing and giggling to themselves secretly. The two mischievous Marauders- the two prefects- Gryffindor's prized prankster (okay, not PRIZED) – are going to perform a proposal scene.

  James swore that they'd never be able to be spies AT ALL because they could barely keep anything a secret.

  Well, until Lily pointed out that their task is anything but a secret.

  It was directly after Owl Post (in which poor – not – Severus Snape received a singing Howler for the fifteenth time that week).

  'Up, up!' Millie-Dint said, pulling her two sixth year prefects.

  'Is it really a must?' James sighed.

  'Can't we do it in a secluded area?' Lily begged. Adele choked on her pumpkin juice. Lily and James? Begging?

  'Sure. In case you forgot, it's the last day,' Millie-Dint said, waving her hand casually. 'And I can easily ask everyone to not give you any signatures…' her voice trailed off to all sorts of possibilities she could threaten them with.

  She never really expected it to work.

  'Fine. But it's just to save Gryffindor from getting more humiliation,' James said darkly.

  'Go Gryffindor!' Sirius cheered. 'And good luck… morons!'

  'I detest that!' Lily and James shot.

  'Okay, okay, LEADERS.'

  'SHE's not a leader,' James said sourly.

  'Are you two going to go up?' Millie-Dint said, impatiently tapping her left foot.

  They (the two prefects) literally dragged their feet and hunched their backs as they trudged towards the High Platform. At first, no one noticed them. But someone had intelligently yelled out "Hey, isn't that two of the Marauders?", and bam! Attention was theirs by name!

  The silence was of curiosity.

  'Sorry, we're borrowing this place for some time, Prof!' Millie-Dint called to the professors. They nodded their permission, quite eager to see what's in for it this time. This orientation week had been a great tension-relief for them. 

  'For our _beloved HeadGirl and her fellow friends_ who promised their _autographs_, marking up to AT LEAST – hopefully – a grand total of thirty five,' James said in a polished tone, dripping his italics with a bucket of sarcasm.

  Nearly the whole hall began chattering at the number.

  'WHAT???? THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!! NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!' Sirius yelled, just before Remus and Adele clamped his mouth with the flower vase on the breakfast table.

  'Go on,' Professor Dumbledore said encouragingly. The two teen slumped their normally confident shoulders and adopted the look that read "we're forced and there's nothing we can do about it. Sniffles."

  James shut his eyes (as if giving up his long-held dignity, but it's quite true) and faced Lily. He took a deep breath, nearly choking his lungs with the oxygen, a breath so long. He opened his mouth and…

  The door burst open violently. All heads swung in its direction.

  'Waaaaaiiiiiit!!!!'

  'Phew! Have we made it yet?'

  'Oh _no_! It ended already!'

  'Calm down, Rose… I don't think anything happened. Yet. Right…?'

  'It had better not, or I'll personally arrange them both to do it ALL OVER!'

  Big eyes stared at the five ladies that had just entered the Great Hall of Hogwarts.

  'Yes?' Dumbledore asked. Lily and James turned away in embarrassment. Mothers just have to do THAT, don't they? Least of all theirs?

  'Hello Albus!' Rose Evans (lady of terror, Lily added mentally) greeted. 'And sweetie, Lily! How are you darling?' Lily gagged.

  'See here, my daughter,' Celine started.

  'And our sons,' Anne and Melissa added, 'owled us yesterday.'

  'They told me that my darling James is going to propose to my to-be-daughter-in-law!' Yvonne gushed happily. All the sixth years burst out laughing, congratulating themselves on owling Lily and James's mothers. Also, there's another good reason. Darling James? Sweetie Lily?

  With the fresh reminder of those thoughts, Gryffindor table erupted in laughter.

  'Oh well, I guess that's what they're doing, then,' Dumbledore said analytically, turning to his two prefects. Much to his surprise and amusement, they were blushing. From embarrassment, no doubt. Poor kids.

  'Not kid,' Lily hissed, reading his mind.

  'Anyway, it's just a stupid sort-of-dare-but-not-dare-but-is-instead-called-orientation,' James said, not missing a single beat.

  'Also, it's NOT real. So you can very well _dream_ it all up!' Lily said firmly.

  'I don't care! I'm going to capture this all on the camera!' Rose smiled, holding up her new camera. 'Ignore us, darlings!'

  'Mental,' Lily muttered.

  'You can say that again,' James added in the same bored out tone.

  'Alright Potter, Evans, start it already!' Millie-Dint called. They growled at her.

  'Okay, fine, fine,' James said, turning to Lily.

  'DOWN ON ONE KNEE!!!!' a Slytherin called.

  James gawked. Millie-Dint gave him the Eye, as if to say "do it." The boy sighed and went down on one knee.

  'What else to this dumb proposing thing?' James said heartlessly to Lily.

  'Er… I don't know.'

  'Hold hands, hold hands!' Adele cheered.

  'And James dear, don't forget the ring!' Yvonne cried.

  They rolled their eyes. 'IT IS _JUST A GAME_!' the two protested sharply.

  'Get the ring, Potter! Ring! Ring! Ring!' a seventh year called. Very soon, a chant had started, and James had the urge to strangle his mum.

  'Oh FINE!' he yelled. He pulled out his wand and magicked a ring.

  'Get a GOLD RING, POTTER!'

  'With plaited silver!'

  'And diamonds and rubies!'

  'Not to mention emeralds!'

  'Hey, that Evans girl has green eyes, right?' Lily scowled at this.

  'Yeah! Nice big ones! Get nice big emeralds, Potter!'

  '**WOULD YOU ALL JUST HOLD YOUR FLAPPING TONGUES????????**' James yelled hot-temperedly at them. He was losing his patience.

  'Okay, now let's have it done with!' Lily said, thankful that James had yelled before she started casting weird incantation all over the hall. She'd been coming up with unknown spells lately.

  'Right. Lily Evans, my pretty –cough- flower of the heart,' James started in his best poetic voice. The whole hall fell into a deafening silence immediately. It was almost eerie. Even the Slytherins watched in sparkling delight. Yvonne intelligently snapped a treasured photo. 'You are—'

  'Yes,' Lily said suddenly. It shattered the silence. The crowds of wizards and witches were howling and yelling at her.

  'Hey, that's _cheating_! No short-cut, Lily!' Millie-Dint called. 'Do it again!' James scowled.

  'My sweet, sweet flower, you rule the Earth with your touch…'

  Lily rolled her eyes. 'Really? Then how come no one's under me yet? Where're my subjects, huh?'

  'Whatever. And you smell… er, just like a rose in its bloom,' James said, begging her mentally to NOT interrupt, or he would have to start all over again.

  Obviously, his powers have failed him for the lack of practise.

  'The name is Lily, not Rose,' Lily cut bluntly.

  He tried again. 'You are like the swan, graceful, pretty, and—'

  'Did you know that to refer me to a swan is very INSULTING?' Lily said, throwing him a dirty look. 'You're referring ME to an ANIMAL! How could you?'

  'Lily! I was referring you to the GOOD qualities!' James whispered. Lily was about to come back with more wit when he added, 'and SHUT UP. Let me finish, will you??'

  'Oh, sorry,' the redhead mumbled humbly. 'Not used to compliments like that. Again, I should think.'

  Everyone is now watching everything in amusement and high spirits. Lily's interruptions just make things even better for them, and James was getting desperately annoyed. Still, he was sure that Lily would not interrupt anymore. Hopefully.

  'Er, so…'

  'How about a poem, James?' Remus suggested from the sea of students. James scowled. Great, just like Remus to think of that.

  His mother stared up at him expectantly. He groaned. So did Lily.

  Great… just great… now what had their old Literature teacher back in grade four say about writing poems again?

  'Uh…'

  'I'm just as stumped,' Lily murmured when James turned to her for help. Neither had counted on any of these. All they remembered thinking off was just a quick wipe at this proposing thing. NOW a poetry got in their way!

'_I was lost in darkness so deep,  
My life, Heaven had forbid.  
Just crawling around like a little lost child  
Until an angel would forgive me.'_

  James blinked. That was weird.

'_Defending from the biting cold,  
Searching for an angel who would gladly do so;  
Then I saw! The light that shines!  
Brighter than the midnight skies.'_

  No, this is not weird. This is **EERIE**! The voice – HIS voice – spoke again.

'_Reaching towards the light,  
Angel had touched on me;  
She gave me such sweet a kiss,  
So warm and yet so deep.'_

  James was literally freaked out, for perhaps the first time of his life. WHAT ON EARTH IS HE SAYING?! Better, what's HAPPENING???

_'The angel had twinkling jade eyes;  
Her voice is oh-so-sweet;  
The lovely red curls her crowning glory;  
And lips so lusciously pink.'_

  James is ready to kill himself. If that's HIM talking ABOUT Lily, Lily's bound to pound him into mash meat in no time, and sent to the butcher's. Maybe she's going to KILL him even!!!!

_'That angel, THE angel, Lily dear,  
T'was you, who helped me through.  
Who had so calmly forgave my deeds,  
As an angel really would.  
I have but just one request,  
That is, if you would comply;  
Would you take this ring of mine,  
And tell me- tell me that you'll be mine?'_

  If it were possible, James would be pounding himself on his head, but somehow, something was stopping him. CONTROLLING him, in a way. He had no idea where he got that crap poem anyway, and he had no intention on knowing at the moment, since freaking out at Lily's reaction seem a much appropriate action.

  'Oh… My… God…' Rose muttered finally.

  It was then that realisation dawned on everyone: the Hall was deadly silence.

  'Erm,' James said slowly. He had gained his speech again. 'Er.' He recalled the last line… _And tell me- tell me that you'll be mine?_ … he slapped himself on his head mentally. He was still with the proposal thing.

  'Oh, er, if you want, we go honeymoon in France, yes?' James said meekly, a little numb from the forced talk. Just for note, James had not the slightest idea of what a honeymoon is, but guessed it was something that was wrapped and packed with a wedding.

  A few girls sighed. Lily was NOT responding. He kicked her. She jerked back from space. Her eyes blinked furiously, as if she, too, were being controlled. James dismissed it as stupid.

  'Would you marry me?' he asked slowly. Quiet, and serious. For a split second, the three Marauders at Gryffindor table thought that he meant it. James glared at them, as if reading their thoughts (which he did—his powers aren't that lousy, apparently) and they murmured apologies with a nervous face.

  'Uhm… yes,' Lily mumbled very quietly. It was almost inaudible to herself. Surprisingly, for some odd reason, her cheeks showed a faint tint of sweet pink.

  'Will you, Lily?' James asked again, then realized that he was actually pleading, _begging_ her to say yes. He wasn't even sure if this if for the orientation. It seemed too… real. Too amazingly real. So real, that it was almost haunting his conscience.

  He handed Lily the ring.

  'Please?' he said, turning on what Sirius would call a puppy-dog face. Lily grinned wickedly.

  'Hm, I'll consider,' Lily said. She stared at the ring, then at James's face, swallowing the laughter in her throat that's choking to be let out. She's going to murder her friend for putting on such a funny face.

  One thousand (or so) hearts beat at a fast pace as James offered Lily the ring.

  'Take it back,' Lily said. 'Take the ring back,' she repeated in James's confusingly hurt face.

  He took the ring back. Then Lily held out both her hands.

  'Huh?' James said, looking at her questioningly.

  'I don't know which hand you place the ring. Or which finger,' Lily admitted with a smile. 'Anyway, I'd rather you slide it into my finger than I do it myself. What do you think?'

  'Well!' James said, staring at the ring. 'Well, what do you know! Neither do I!'

  Then they both began laughing at the stupidity of the conversation.

  'Why's it so quiet anyway?' Lily asked loudly. And it was like a funny wave that went around the audience. First, there was a breezy sigh that almost resembled the sighing wind of Spring. Then, a few choking laughter were heard. In a moment, half the girls were sobbing, much to Lily's confusion.

  'What? Who just died?' she asked urgently.

  'Aww…' Adele sniffed, 'it's so, so'—pmrrrb (sound of Adele blowing into her handkerchief)—'sweet! And they looked so cute..!'

  Lily stared at her as if she were showing off her animagi morphing skills—with a bored look.

  'I'm soooo glad the camera came in handy!' Yvonne beamed. 'I got the photos, I got the photos!' she sang.

  Lily and James rolled their eyes. 'This is _just a stupid orientation task!_ It's not real, understand?' they cried in indignation at everyone. They were ignored.

  'What on earth is happening?' James demanded.

  'I don't know. Sheesh… ultimate dumbness,' Lily remarked coldly. 'So emotional over a lousy proposal.'

  'Are you telling me that I'm lousy?' James pouted, pretending to look hurt.

  'Yes!' Lily grinned. 'HEY!!!! MILLLIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'

  'Your AUTOGRAPH, your highness,' James said sarcastically, handing her two worn out parchments with signatures in quill and ink on it.

  The HeadGirl sniffed a little before pulling out her quill and inkbottle and signed her name on the parchments. She gave them two a tight hug, wailing, 'I'm going to miss your antics so much when I leave!!!'

  Confused, they left her blowing into her boyfriend – err, fiancé's – shoulder.

  Nearly all – oops, pardon. ALL of Gryffindor seventh years and all the prefects from other houses rushed over to sign their parchments, totalling the two Marauders to…

  'ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE?!?!?!' James gasped.

  'This is… amazing!!!!' Lily shrieked, hugging James.

  'Ten points to both Lily and James of Gryffindor!' the HeadBoy called, 'for a wonderful performance on their orientation!' Cheers echoed, some unwillingly.

  'You got 105 signs??? That's UNFAIR!!!!!' Sirius howled. He thumped on James's back. 'Good job,' he whispered, grinning.

  'We got ten points!!!!' Adele shrieked, strangling Lily in her enthusiasm.

  'Five points from the Ravenclaw prefects!' a Ravenclaw prefect called.

  'Five from Hufflepuff, too!' Thomas DeAnne of Hufflepuff (he's a prefect) cried.

  The Slytherin prefects had a little meeting. 'One,' one of them said finally.

  'Yay!!! We got twenty one!' Remus whooped.

  'James could've done better,' Lily smirked.

  'And YOU could've not tried the stupid rejection tricked first,' James countered, smirking as well.

  'So, is Lily going to poison James?' Sirius wondered. Adele and Remus hissed a 'sssh' at him.

  'We'll see if she dares,' Rose said, looming menacingly behind them. Lily gulped. 'By the way, the ring's supposed to be on the third finger.'

  'Ohh,' the two said intelligently. James slid it into Lily's second finger.

  'Your thumb isn't a finger, James!' Remus chided. James gave a what-do-I-care look and slid it into Lily's third finger.

  'Happy?' he declared.

  'Very.'

  'What're you doing here anyway?' Lily said to her mum.

  'Defense against the Dark Arts,' Yvonne said casually. 'Professor Dumbledore said that Professor Goshanit-elp was sent to St.Mungo's mental asylum. Thought we'd come here and review with him the new list of candidates.'

  'Ah! So you come by Mr.Lupin's favour!' Professor Dumbledore said brightly. 'Let us speak of it in my office, then.' He turned to the Marauders. 'James, Lily.'

  'Yes?' they said innocently, silently praying the he hadn't seen Mrs.Norris in the Easter Rabbit costume they dressed her in yesterday when they were wandering around at night.

  'Lovely. But for Mr.Filch's cat, three points will the taken from Gryffindor.'

  'Aah…'

  'Um, yes… okay…'

  'Bye kids!' Melissa waved with a beaming smile. 'See you all during the summer holidays!'

  'Hope not… our mansion in Godric's Hollow is ready already,' Sirius muttered.

  'That's for EMERGENCY, Sirius,' Adele reminded.

  'Can't you get it through your thick head?' James asked.

  Sirius sighed. 'I wish it wasn't!'

  'In two years,' Remus said casually. 'Or a year, if you would please. Lily and James will REALLY wed by then, and they'll live there!'

  'BY THE WAY, IT IS **_NOT_** KIDS!' Lily yelled after Melissa. 'IT'S THE **MARAUDERS**!'

**

  Lily and James were wondering if those 105 signatures and eighteen points for Gryffindor (which thankfully got Gryffindor into third place, since Hufflepuff had lost a LOT of house points over some careless incident) are really worth it at all. They were being pestered by all from year one to year seven, A-Z, 1 to infinity, even some professors like the sweet Slytherin house professor Halley, Hufflepuff head, Professor Sprout, Professor Sinistra… even TRELAWNEY got a word in it!!!

  'Popular,' Adele snickered in sympathy.

  'Dreadful,' Sirius cackled.

  'Disastrous,' Remus agreed, as they stare at their two friends.

  'For the 595th time, it was ONLY an orientation task!' James yelled hotly.

  'Poetry…' Michael said.

  'Nice lines…' Pickles added with a sly wink.

  'Are you SURE?' Terrykinns Splatters said, raising his eyebrows. 'We all know that she's your girlfriend. Or so she seem.'

  'I didn't REALLY propose, okay? 596!'

  'We're taking it the hard way, you know that?' Lily sighed. She began chanting under her breath. Everyone in the room but the Marauders were looking like drowned cats.

  'Amusing!' Adele giggled.

**

  Everything calmed down just before summer holidays. The only problem the Marauders had to face – or rather, _Lily_ and _James _have to face – is their parents. Supposed they get sent to measure for wedding clothes…?????

  'I'll personally make sure that doesn't happens,' Lily gritted.

  'Meanwhile, let's finish the homework,' Remus sighed, pointing at a page of his notebook, scraped full with his tiny writing.

  And on Lily's third finger, the little flower wreathed ring still stay, until she got home.

____________________________________________________________________________________

AN: dear friends… I FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs emotionally* I actually, actually finished! The hard part about this whole thing is… the poem James had to recite. *smirks* hah! And I bet that everyone actually skips it, huh? It took me nearly ages to think that up! … okay, not ages, it was just minutes, but I couldn't use the crappy one I wrote on my paper, so…

  Would any of you believe that I had to do THIS sort of orientation before? Lol, let's just say my friend nearly freaked out, like James.

  Uhm, as for the next sequel [alright, not really sequel. I came to facts that it's more of a section of the story], it'll be a little more on my side of suffering these days. Sorta. Still, I'll have it out fast! ^_^ not as long as a MONTH [I just learnt that time is precious, people! Isn't it amazing?]. I'll tell you the truth. It would take me at least a week or so to type it all up, believe me, with the changes of plan I have so suddenly for the fic! Anyway, I'll get it out as soon as I can ^_- exams, see. After that would be HOLIDAYS!!! And by then, I'll probably be posting every three to four days once! Mwahaha!

  Sorry, just thought that I could ramble ^_^;; but at least I posted in time!

*bows off Marauder-style* *trips over a stray banana skin* heeeeellllllp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!—by, bunny chan


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